I'm a guy raising my daughter. She's 9 yo. Anyway the mother has been hooked on meth for about 8-9 years(that's why I raise my daughter) I've tried to keep things cool and not use the court system.
But this week she was with her mother. I picked her up yesterday and she started telling me about she went to the mountains with her mom, and they went to a boarded up cabin and there were booby-traps and a gun under a matteress, and she was talking about she seen some tubes and tunnels.
I'm PISSED!! this sounds like a drug lab to me!! Please help, what should I do?, and where should a start? I don't want my daughter to have anything to do with her mother anymore. has this happened to you? what do I do? I'm so mad I can't think straight.
2007-06-02 08:05:44 · 12 answers · asked by the shiz 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I asked my daughter to draw what she saw and it looks similar to a drug lab.
2007-06-02 08:11:07 · update #1
jump the mom and the boyfriend and beat the livin **** out of them. then never take her around her mom again.
2007-06-03 10:49:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i know you didn't want to get the courts involved, but this is serious and they need to be now. Let them know your situation and what her mother brought her around. I don't know if it was a meth lab or not but any place like that is not on the up and up. Let your daughter explain also what she saw to the DA and get a restraining order against your ex. Your daughter's wellness, happiness, and safety should always come first.
I hope that this helps. And be proactive with this anger in a positive way instead of just being angry. Make sure you're the best dad you can be by keeping your little girl safe.
2007-06-02 08:14:36 · answer #2 · answered by wilfeistykitten2003 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer right now and go to court to get sole custody. Once you have a lawyer, they can advise you of what and where to go. Social Services is also an option, but before you involve them, get a lawyer so your daughter isn't taken from you too. You are right to be upset. No child should be subjected to that. The court can also push that the child's mother sign away her custody rights. This would be the best possible outcome for your daughter. Good luck!
2007-06-02 11:27:16 · answer #3 · answered by sassyredhead1968 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not allow her to have access with your daughter until she can provide proof of her being clean, such as a pee test or blood test. This is not funny nor is it safe for anyone. Just being in the surrounding can cause major problems for you as well. What if it blew up? Why are you covering up for her? It is your daughters life at stake here. She can do whatever she wants with her own life but to put her life at risk is unacceptable. At this point you have one thing in common and that is your daughter, take control and do something about it. I would tell the police and get the authorities involved before you lose your daughter as well. just my opinion however I think its a darn good one. I know that you might want to protect her from the consequences but really its about your daughter not you or her. She has not taken responsibility for herself or her child, you have to. Sorry but the reality is staring at you, if you don't then she might try it again and then you have failed to protect your daughter. Do the right thing for your daughter, yourself and her. You just might be able to stop the woman from harming anyone else including herself......
2007-06-02 08:30:19 · answer #4 · answered by kat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I'm a Teacher and I will try to give you solid advise. First, I commend you for stepping up to the plate to take care of your daughter. The world needs more men like you.
Ok, here it goes: you say you dont want the courts involved, but it's time to get the courts involved. At this point, you have a responsibility to keep your daughter safe; and if anything terrible happnes in the near future (like she accidentally swollows meth, is harmed in the meth lab, etc)--the state might put your daughter in temporary Foster Care until they figure what to do with her. That happened to someone in my family--and it Can happen to you.
So: You should go to the courthouse next week to ofically file for "Full Custody" of your daughter. This will give you full legal rights to your child. You can also file for "Temporary Emergency Custody" which will grant you full legal rights until Full Cutsody is awarded. I know you are upset, but you need to let the judge know everything: that her mom is on meth for 9 years, that you've been taking care of her for X number of years, and that on such and such date, your daughter was taken to a boarded up cabin in the mountains with a gun under the mattress. Dont wait until something terrible happens, because then the judge will look at you as if you are a negilgent father. It will also help if you are working full time. Also, your daughters own Mom might try to intervene and beg you not to do this, but dont cave in. Thats your child. Try to get your Mom to come to court to show support for you.
Also, although you are upset--please dont try to completely rid the mom out of your daughters life. That is still her mom, and your daughter would have feelings of guilt and resentment towards you if that happens. She still needs to see her mom from time time. What you can do, is ask the courts to only allow "Supervised Visits" with your daughter & her Mom. A relative on your side (or her side) can volunteer to take your daughter to her mom, and stay with them for 1 or 2 hours while they spend time with each other.
Addicts need tough love, and your daughter's mom is going to be upset about all of this, but its time she understands that if she wants full acess to her daughter, she's got to clean up her life, go to rehab, get a job, and get her life together. Enough is enough. Good Luck.
2007-06-02 08:26:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This has never happened to me, but I'm going to give advice because of the seriousness of your situation. You should call the authorities! Get full custody of your daughter, and if you allow visitations at this point they should be supervised only!!! I personally think that court is necessary at this point!!
2007-06-02 14:15:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. i don't envy you your position. i think i'd talk to the police. they could at least tell you what to do next. also,maybe get hold of your lawyer.if there are visitation rights in place with the courts,he may be able to put a hold on her visitation until this is solved. best of luck to you and your daughter. i hope it wasn't a lab, for everyone's sake.
2007-06-02 08:21:37 · answer #7 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first i would get a lawyer and then i would turn her in. if you do not have it on paper that she can see your daughter, i would not let her see her. I know that sounds easier than it is, but it is that easy. I have never been to court over my sons father and he is in to the same thing her mother is into. family services told me that if it is not on paper, you do not have to let her see her. It is your choice, even if she is paying child support. that is in missouri. GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-06-02 08:16:49 · answer #8 · answered by julie_loves_music 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would let the local Law Enforcement Agency the location best to your daughters description and take it from there...also don't let her go with her mom unless its a supervised location...good luck...
2007-06-02 08:11:11 · answer #9 · answered by Vonda J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sue for custody if you haven't already.And when you go to court make sure she doesn't get any rights.Tell the judge you want her to take a drug test also.
2007-06-02 08:11:48 · answer #10 · answered by Ms.Danielle 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would call the police. My daughter would not leave with her again.
2007-06-02 08:24:16 · answer #11 · answered by melody 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋