Would it be too much to ask of guests to have a multi day wedding?

Question

We are on a pretty tight budget for our wedding but we also have a ton of people that we both want to and are obliged to spend the day with. The location we are looking at only can accomodate 80 people. If we were to choose this location for our reception site it would be cutting out first cousins immediately and most of our friends. I have already looked into other locations but the cost is very high.

Would it be a lot to ask to have a multi day wedding.
I was thinking having the ceremony and then having a brief cocktail reception or something of the likes where we could invite our expanded list of everyone we want to be there and all the ones we have to invite. Then the next day have our reception where we invite all of the people that we are obliged to invite to an actual reception.

Does this sound like too much or too ambitious. I'm also afraid of making people mad by inviting them to one party but not the other....I am so confused!

I just wanted to note that I would LOVE to cut down the list of guests to the people I only really care about but it can't work. There are 80 people with just aunts/uncles and our immediate families (unfortunately we have large families). I don't necessarily need all those people there but I can't just invite some of them because that would make everyone even more angry.

Answer 1

Honestly, it sounds with all that you are planning that its going to cost just as much as it would if you found a site that could hold everybody and have it all done in one day.

I think this kind of thing is really only ok with destination weddings, where the two of you go off and marry privately and then return to have a large reception with family and friends. I dont think I would be mad with the situation you are presenting, but I am sure I would find it offputting, whether I was invited to all the events or just the reception.

Personally, and this is just me, I think you should keep looking, it may be a bit more legwork for you, but I bet you will find that its worth it in the end to have everyone you want to be with you on your sepcial day, instead of the plan of 3 separate events.

Answer 2

Honestly, this is similar to how I wanted to have our wedding! Not necisarrily seperate days but, I wanted a very intimate ceremony with a small cocktail hour, and then have a LARGE and ELABORATE party later that night! I wanted the ceremony around 2, then cocktails, then time to change into whatever outfits for the reception and then have the big party reception! But that was my idea! I love my family and wanted it to be about us and the merging of our families! But my husband's family won out and got the big showy event for everyone to see! ( Which I also ended up enjoying! )
Let's face it, most people would realy rather great you and see you at the reception rather than sit through yet another ceremony! At least where I'm from! I wanted to invite our closest family members and best friends to the wedding, then as I said invite the entire town to the reception! (exagerating but only slightly!)
I understand that some people see it as offensive, but honestly, soemtimes I would rather only having to go to the reception! I mean, if it's not someone that I'm extremely close with, then I don't have to see them exchange their vows, but I would like to celebrate with them after the vows are done!
Good luck and congrats! And whatever you do, make this day about you and your soon to be hubby! Everyone will understand, and if they don't, then they should REALLY get over it and be honored to be involved in your BIG day at all!
Hope this helped!

Answer 3

We recently had the same dilema, and were forced to keep it small and simple...immediate family only. When people tell you everyone will understand why you kept it small and they couldn't be invited...it's bull. (unless you have very understanding relatives!) People I didn't even think would come to mine in the first place were carrying on that they weren't invited, as I heard through the grapevine. We offended many aunts, cousins, and lots of friends who all said "yeah, we'd do the same thing in your shoes", but secretly held onto their hurt, and are still upset and offended. You've run across a difficult choice!!

I love what an earlier answer wrote about having the wedding with your immediate family, and throwing a party later for the rest...just let them all know ahead of time, so they won't be so offended thinking they're totally excluded. Call it a 'post wedding' party, and show the video and pass around the wedding pictures. You could have it at your home or a relative's, bbq, finger foods, something simple? Maybe keep extra favors for the occassion? Have your wedding dress out for display? I'm just brainstorming stuff - just to give you an idea.

Having a party later at your home/relatives is MUCH cheaper than having to rent a facility, decorate, cater, etc. for that many people in the first place, much less twice. You could get away with almost anything...

Best of luck and congrats!!

Answer 4

My suggestion would be to trim down your wedding, put more into the reception. Have a small wedding, invite limited people, have your reception at the park or somewhere you could have more people.
Idea two: change your reception to light appitzers, and cake.
I think you will struggle with the two day thing and it will end up being a source of added stress for you.Something you will not need on your day. If you limit the amount of people for both to only intimate friends and family most people will understand. Then maybe on your first anniverary have a huge party and invite everyone.

Answer 5

To do that would really risk offending people. Some of the day 2 uninvited guest would find out about the "real reception" and they will not be happy they were not invited. If all you can't afford is a cocktail reception for everyone, then just do that. I have been to a couple cocktail receptions that were just as nice - if not better - than some actual dinner receptions. Congrats and best wishes.

Answer 6

It would only be okay if everyone were invited to everything! So your plan isn't a great idea...
You should only be inviting people to the reception who are invited to the ceremony - same people for both. Guests go to witness you two making your wedding vows, then attend the reception to celebrate what they had witnessed earlier at the ceremony.
So you keep your list small if you can't afford to have everyone you "want" - but that happens to everyone! The two of you have saved all you can, and just need to plan the wedding on what you two can afford to spend.
Good luck with everything!

Answer 7

Compromise! $four hundred for a marriage ceremony get dressed may be very fair, however so is a 50 visitor marriage ceremony. You will have a first-rate cake, however have a 4pm reception with simply appetizers and wine. You should purchase circumstances of wine direct from a vineyard to get the exceptional rate in keeping with bottle. You can toast with cava as a substitute of champagne (the cava we had was once $18 a bottle and scrumptious!). You will have useful, stylish centerpieces that your loved ones can construct. You can discover a school photographer scholar to do pictures (seem at their portfolio first) for a couple of hundred as a substitute than a official marriage ceremony photographer for a couple of thousand. What I feel you must do is opt for the three matters main to you, spend a little bit extra on the ones matters, and be a cut price looking at the relaxation. Agree to try for a $2500 funds... probabilities are you'll be able to pass over a few, however should you goal for $2500 then you'll be able to generally keep beneath $5000. Marriage is all approximately compromise... and think me, while the day is over and you are off to your honeymoon, he would possibly not remorse a cent.

Answer 8

Contrary to what you say, noone is obligated to invite anyone to anything.

I would have the ceremony and reception the same day.

If you are on a tight budget, how you plan on doing it is not the way to go.

Find another venue, or cut down on the guest list.

Invite who you want to and explain to the ones not invited that you have a limited guest list.

Answer 9

How is having two or three receptions going to be cheaper than just moving it to a different venue? You don't have to have a formal sit down dinner for the reception. Just do a cheaper menu and have everything at once. It would save you some stress.

Answer 10

I went to a reception that was just for friend, bride and groom could not afford to have anyone but immediate family at the real reception.

Have one party for relatives and bridal party only, and 2nd include friends.

People may be offended, but you can not please everyone. Friends will understand more than distant family.