Is there anything I can do at home and not go to the doctor? I don't want my husband to know.?

Question

I believe that I may be suffering from depression. There are days when I am physically hurting, I can be watching "dragon tales" and I start crying, many things like this happen all the time. I don't want my husband to know, we have talked about this before and it makes him sad and angry (don't get me wrong he is great). I have been acting like I am happy, this has been making him happy, but inside I feel horrible all I want to do is cry. Please if you know anyway I can fix this without having to go to the doctor please let me know. Please don't post if you are going to say go to the doctor, I do not want medication or go to the doctor.

I would just like ot make it clear so everyone knows, I have not thought of sucide. I am just sad all the time and nothing seems to make me happy.

Answer 1

You could try to eat better (more fruits and vegetables, etc) and try to get in a good hour a day of vigourous exercise. Try taking a daily vitamin, and if you aren't taking birth control pills St Johns Wart might help you out a little bit (this herb weakens the efficacy of BC pills). Keep yourself hydrated. It may sound stupid, but if you refuse to see a professional these things can help a little. The healhier you are, the better you'll feel, and the better your mind will work.

You might also want to sit down with yourself and write down a few questions. Why am I so miserable? What do I want in life? What would it take to make me feel better? Etc. Then look at your answers and see what you could take steps to improve. For instance if you hate your job, get education for a better one, if you're too fat - lose weight, things like that.

Also you might try yoga or meditation, but if this is a chemical imbalance, well you know what's ultimately going to be needed. (pssp, it starts with "d")

I just need to add the "D" is for Doctor, just realized another not so great thing it could stand for to a person with severe depression.

Answer 2

I agree with most of the advice you have been given. Definitely get out in the sun and do some exercise, even if it's just for a short walk everyday. Try to eat right. I'll bet that you're not hungry, or always hungry, but an improper diet can even cause depression. Go to the library or bookstore and read a book or two on depression.

Now the part you don't want to see. A good relationship is based in honesty. If your husband loves you, he'll want you to be happy, not pretend you are. I bet he can even tell, to some extent, that you are "faking it". There is NO shame in getting help for depression. Most people don't want to go to the doctor or take medication, but after they begin to feel better, they wish they'd done it sooner. If you are truly depressed, and you recognize the fact, then you must know that you aren't exactly thinking correctly. Of course your husband is upset to hear you aren't feeling well. That is normal. Maybe you are mistaking his concern as negative. Your husband, who you described as "great" would probably be proud of you for getting the help you need, not disappointed. Give him a chance to show you how great he really is! If he is indeed angry at you for being sick -- and depression is really a disease-- then I suggest you or someone else should explain to him the nature of your disease and why it should be properly treated. If he's still angry then, he's not a great guy. But right now I'm betting that if you give him a really good chance, he'll want you to do whatever you need to do to feel better.

Answer 3

If you don't want medication, or go to the doctor, and probably not a counselor either; you can buy books to help yourself with, but without some input from what you are reading sometimes is hard to digest. You actually need to find out WHY you are depressed. Find a Support Group to attend that centers around depression so you don't feel alone. But other than that, without a professional opinion, it is hard to deal with depression, and acting "as if" you are fine, makes the depression worse, and then you get depressed because you are actually lying to your husband, By the way if he finds out you have been acting "as if" then you are going to have to explain why, which will probably be another lie; and it just gets worse from here. If you went to doctor, he could help you talk with your husband. I know all this, because I have also had problems with depression all my life! Finally got medication, and I feel so MUCH BETTER, and I am so much easier to live with! So, do yourself a favor, and Take Care of YOURSELF!

Answer 4

I am sorry you feel you cannot talk to your husband about this so you could see a Dr. There are a number of emotional disorders that really should be diagnosed by a Dr. so the right medication can be prescribed, even if you don't want to do this.

But:

Do you take a vitamin supplement? A multivitamin and extra B vitamins might help. Many of us suffer from depression and anxiety, you are not alone.

Good luck, I hope someone gives you just the right answer here.

Skanky gave you some excellent ways of doing this. And, he did mention that if it is a chemical imbalance you would need to see the d

Answer 5

Sorry. If you could "fix" this at home, you'd already have done that.

The doctor is what you HAVE to do. You need some medication, hon. And some therapy. To say "I do not want medication or go to the doctor" can only mean that you are ENJOYING this misery. Because if you really wanted this to be "fixed" you would do whatever you had to do to get better. Think of your child(ren). You don't go to the doctor and you will eventually do something stupid like try to kill yourself. You want to end up in a mental hospital for a while? That is IF you survive. If you don't, think of your kids. They will ALWAYS think it was THEIR fault. Stop being so selfish and go to the doctor.

Answer 6

OK-
I totally was where you were.
#1 - Excercise. I know, It sucks. But, the oxygen and the fresh air help your mind clear and the heart rate getting up causes positive endorphons to be released into the body.
#2 - be busy. goes with #1, but active people are happier people. I schedule stuff to do when I get bored.
Boredom = Depression for me,
#3 Try some St. John's Wort. It's available at most drug store in the homeopathic section. It's a natural antidepressant.
#3 I don't know if you drink or smoke, but cut down on those if you do. Both are depressants.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

I don't want to upset you,but if your husband is as good as you say he is,then he would want to help you in any way he can.You shouldn't be worried about how he feels,if you're feeling so bad.There is no shame at all in going to the doctor over depression.Millions of people suffer from it.There's also no shame in needng a medication to help out either.I know you said you didn't want to hear go to the doctor,but there really isn't any at home remedies for depression.maybe you could look up depression online,and let your husband read it with you.If he still doesn't want to help you out,then you need to just help yourself.And his being sad about something happening to you is normal,but not being angry with something you have no control over.Good luck,and I hope you feel better very soon.

Answer 8

This may come as a surprise to you
All this energy you are using to "hide" your feelings from your husband is being sapped away from the energy you need to regain your health - yes, "hiding" is making you sicker and postponing how long it will take to get better.

Guys often think of problems in a manner that if we speak of the problem, they automatically think we are asking and expecting them to "fix the problem" When the problem is something beyond which they can fix, there is frustration, anger or fear exhibited in response.

"Hiding" your problems is both a personal problem and a marriage problem. In a mature and healthy relationship, 2 people can be - and are - real with each other. There is a trust and a bond to help each other along with whatever comes up. It is a matter of trusting and being trusted in the relationship. (A counselor would have you consider:) Maybe you could look at some of the reasons why you aren't trusting him, or your reasons for feeling he can't handle the "real you". Name your fears on paper. This is an exercise that can really help you to deal with the issues.

Name your insecurities. and follow that with considering ways your husband can help you to move past them.
The next step a counselor would have you do, is to share your feelings and fears and insecurities with your husband and for him to listen - to be given time to mull it over for himself - and then for him to respond in future conversations with you.

These are things that cannot be hashed-through in a single session. This needs to be an ongoing sharing and caring -- and you need to do the same thing for your husband to get to know him on a deeper level. All this has a name: INITMACY
not the physical kind, the mental and emotional kind where true day to day relationship is genuinely at. You will find that your physical intimacy will be a reflection of this other level of intimacy, as you get to know each other better, and learn to trust.

Once you have written and spoken of your fears and emotional self, sharing what is true and real within you -- you will sense a great relief to not be hiding anymore. This relief will turn your energies toward your healing instead of hiding.
It is very possible that your depression will begin to lift as you resolve your personal problems, as you may be dealing with an emotional overload from the "hiding". Also, consider your hormone cycles, as they likely have much to do with how you feel and when you feel it.

If you find these exercises don't take care of your emotional health, look at your eating-sleeping-exercise habits. Beyond that a counselor, marriage counselor, family doctor may be helpful, as it is also possible that something physical could be not working, such as low iron in your blood, or a malfunctioning thyroid can also cause depression.

There is HOPE!

Answer 9

I am in total agreement with all the others who said you need medical treatment. Believe me I know where your coming from. I have been there! I tried for years to hide the depression and I ended up hurting the ones I tried to protect. Tell me if your husband loves you then he wants to help you, right? Let me stress...YOU have to seek treatment! Everyone around you probably senses something is not right. I can be around someone for just a short while and pick up on the depression. Please for your sake and your families get help. If you are not comfortable talking to your husband, try your mom. I am a mom and I know I would listen and want to know. Email me privately if you just need to talk.

Answer 10

I am an advocate for depression awareness and management. You can inform youself about treatment. Education is the key.


http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/depression.cfm states: "In any given 1-year period, 9.5 percent of the population, or about 20.9 million American adults, suffer from a depressive illness5 The economic cost for this disorder is high, but the cost in human suffering cannot be estimated. Depressive illnesses often interfere with normal functioning and cause pain and suffering not only to those who have a disorder, but also to those who care about them. Serious depression can destroy family life as well as the life of the ill person. But much of this suffering is unnecessary.

Most people with a depressive illness do not seek treatment, although the great majority even those whose depression is extremely severe can be helped. Thanks to years of fruitful research, there are now medications and psychosocial therapies such as cognitive/behavioral, "talk" or interpersonal that ease the pain of depression.

Unfortunately, many people do not recognize that depression is a treatable illness. If you feel that you or someone you care about is one of the many undiagnosed depressed people in this country, the information presented here may help you take the steps that may save your own or someone else's life."