Help me or not?

Question

I hate to go to my dad's house because I don't like him. He abused my mother and me before my parents split up. He sended me to a crazy house which was not fun. I had to stay there for a week because I said that I would do something to myself if I went to his house. Every time I go to his house he smothers me, yells at me, tells me what to do, and beats me up. I don't like it there! I have to spend 50/50 with him. I just cry there. I don't know what to do because I hate my dad and I rather be with my mom beacuse I love her and she treats me with respect and she is sooooooo nice to me. I have everything at my mom's but at my dad I have nothing. I only have 1 small bed, 1 dresser, 3 underwear, and a few pairs of shirts and pants. Sometimes I have to wear the some clothes that have been not washed. It makes me look like trash! I just can't take it anymore! My dad also dosen't feed me sometimes I no food for a day! I always have to say I'm hungry and he always says thats not my problem!

Answer 1

If what you're saying is true then you don't have to stay with him. Talk with your mother and she can speak with someone in the courts to get the custody order changed. You're obviously old enough to communicate with the judge and let him know how much you dislike visits with your father and they should be able to change the order.

Good luck!

Answer 2

It sounds horrible, but your mom can't be too much better than your dad. Why aren't you taking some of the clothes she bought you over to your dad's when you're there. Thats stupid to leave them at your moms. Well stop bashing your dad and talk to him. If you can't talk to him, write him a letter about how you feel about everything and let him know that you love him and want a better relationship with him, but somethings have to change and leave the letter in a spot so he can find it and read it. You & your dad probably have a communication problem. Tell him to write you back if he wants.

Answer 3

Your father doesn't love you and he will always be the same. I guess you are a young man, and until you can get a job, you will suffer this. I have been in your shoes, so I know how it feels to be abused by my father. My father was always abusive and an alcoholic. I was beaten many times because he was drunk, and I always thought that he really hated me. I was lucky as I was adopted by a Chinese guy (I am white) after my mother died and my father arranged an adoption. My new Dad was great...so kind, so wonderful. I wished I could help but I live in China...people care for children here.

Answer 4

Baby I am so so sorry you have to be go through this. Just know that there are a lot of things in life that a person has to endure and has to go through to be "something", yes it is painful and awful as you go through it but you will come out of it and while it is not what you want to hear, you will be a "better" person because of it. This will not last forever, he is your Dad and we don't get to chose those, needless to say. You are only at your Father's for a brief period and I am sure in due time, after you discuss with your Mother your concerns and problems in visiting your Father, your visits will cease all together. This too shall pass. God Bless.

Answer 5

I wish I could help you. I know how hard it is to be an abused child. Have you talked to your mother about this?..I am sure that if you do, she can talk to a lawyer or someone to see about preventing you from having to go to your dad's house..
to withhold food, clothing, clean clothes and then the mental anquish and the beating you up, well, that is child abuse pure and simple and isn't right and some adult like your mom needs to try to take care of this situation. Please tell her now, so that this can be fixed for you. Hang in there and like I have said please tell you Mom, and aunt or uncle or some adult who will not go tell your dad. Good luck to you !!

Answer 6

you know you can call childrens / teen hotline [phone]-safe http://www.ndvh.org/

tell them exactly what you said here. most childhoods are not perfect and im sorry for that. however that is no excuse for neglect and abuse tho. i know where you are coming from, i was abused too, just think, one day you will be old enough to be on your own and you can also make the decision to have a relationship wioth your father if you so desire, not just him. if you are old enohg to get a job, try to use that as an excuse to be unavailable to spend time with him. be safe sweetie. god bless and he will watch over you.

also if there are police reports on him abusing your mom or anyother person in his past you can use that totally to your advantage. hes an unfit parent. try to record him with video or phone or reccorder without him knowing of course,, him doing and saying the things he does. if your moms not gonna protect you, then u need to get a lil evidence, dont provoke him tho.

Answer 7

Honey you dont have to put up with this kind of abuse, contact your local dept of child safety and let them know how he's treating you. obviously he only wanted to have access as a payback to your mum. Abuse is not tolerated here in Australia but it still happens all the time. Most ppl in abusive situations believe that there is no way out. But you need to remember that you have rights. Get in contact with whoever you need to help make this better for you. Even family court has to listen if your being abused as they made the order.

Answer 8

It sounds like your mom needs to renegotiate the terms of her custody arrangement. Does she know what your situation is when you are there. If she does and she is not doing anything about it, then she is not being very responsible. If what you are saying is true, you are being abused by him and something needs to be done. If your mom is scared of him and does not want to make him mad at her, then you need to find another trusted adult to step in and help talk to your mom or find some other way to help. Do you have another relative, teacher, or minister who you could talk to? If your mom was abused by him, then she is probably still scared of him, too. If there was proof that your dad was being abusive, the courts would step in and help. TALK TO SOME ONE!!!

Answer 9

If he is hitting you and starving you, then call the childrens services in your city and report it. Also when he hits you dial 911 and report it. The police will come to the house and ask you about it. Your father will deny it but if the police think youre afraid they will remove you from the house. Just make sure you let them know you are afraid to be there.

Answer 10

do not go back to his house. if he hits you and treats you like this you do not need to be with him alone. he could hurt you very much, or yet, kill you. stay away. i know that you are suppose to have 50/50 w/ him but there has got to be another way. i'm so sorry.