i have avoidance disorder.Is there any hope?

Question

very sensitive,too eager to help others,always finding faults with myself,very low on self esteem and confidence,loose interest rather too quickly in people ,events or places,keep on seeking intelligent tete-tat,but a great company for others,chirpy ,quick witted but try and avoid people,stay away in fea of rejection or hurt that's why feel inadequate and suffocated.Want to live .

Answer 1

I believe that self esteem, anxiety and avoidant personality disorder go hand in hand with one another. For example, when lacking in self confidence, one fears rejection, failure and embarrassment much more acutely than others, and may feel fearful and anxious about approaching or doing things one is not absolutely confident that they can handle well. Symptoms of anxiety often take over, which are very difficult to control, and the mind may work overtime, often blaming the self or hating the self ....going round in circles trying to overcome what seems so simple for others. Often, the avoidant person is in a lot of emotional pain and may try to comfort themselves, by overeating, by oversleeping because they are so overwhelmed or tired out from the ordeal. Avoidant people often try so hard to help others to give them the support and confidence that they so desperately wish they had. Their deep sensitivity is a great gift of help to others, but also a hardship for the person who is low in self confidence, with fears that they may not even understand. The avoidant person is often highly intelligent and unable to use their gifts for themselves, eventually feeling desperate to release themselves from a very painful cycle. So what is the good news?

The good news starts with understanding yourself and figuring out just how you tick, as they say. Self confidence often is an accumulation of positive life experiences and the repetition of positive thinking patterns. If perhaps, one has parents who themselves were unable to cope, then the very sensitive child may not have been given the necessary mental nourishment and positive reinforcement needed to develop self confidence. One may have learned negative self messages as opposed to positive self messages. As a result, when life's challenges confront them they react with what they know, just like anyone else, and the mental patterns which have developed basically take over reinforcing hopelessness and fears as opposed to hopefulness and confidence. Helpful Answer: Make a short list of 5 positive messages that you needed to hear but didn't and post them all around your house. Place this list especially in front of your bedroom and/or mirrors, and look yourself in the eye in the mirror and say them to yourself every time you use the bedroom/bathroom. These messages will begin to enter your subconscious even when you don't believe them and begin to act like stop signs in your mind after a while when you start thinking fearful or negative things to yourself.

As for anxiety, the best program out there is the one advertised on television which is a $300 program by Lucinda Bassett which comes with DVDs workbook etc. and is the best investment you can make in yourself if you need to treat yourself for anxiety and avoidant personality disorder. If possible pursue Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with someone with experience in avoidant disorder or other anxiety based disorders. The 2 programs together would be great.

Anxiety can take over every second of a persons life and grow with time like a big tumor, but it can also be effectively dealt with and beaten. First one has to look it straight in the eye for what it is. It is Fear. Dont let anyone tell you you are a failure for being afraid. Everyone has fear, they just dont admit it. Fear is the mind killer (Reference DUNE film) You have more courage getting up every day with anxiety/avoidance and fighting to get through the day than anyone with high self esteem and good coping skills could ever dream of.

Yes, Avoidant Disorder can be effectively dealt with, and yes overcome but it requires accepting yourself in a loving way and treating yourself with patience and understanding. Imagine your best friend has this problem and you are their nurse. What would you do for them? Be your own nurse by using your higher self and implementing your own suggestions. A therapist is in many ways, a guide, a higher self of sorts which points a way through the darkness. If you can, try to get the Lucinda Bassett program and a therapist you like, as these steps will also really help to get to the bottom of the problem fairly quickly. If not, educate yourself, as you are now doing, about avoidance disorder and anxiety as well. Look into your past and figure out what you need that you didn't get. Parents are people with problems too, they may not have had a clue that you needed x or y. It is up to us to go through our brains like a suitcase, see whats been packed in there, and keep the good things, and to discard the unhelpful, untrue crap which is keeping one back. Repack your suitcase for life with understanding, new thought patterns and new coping skills. This will help a lot in allowing yourself to develop into the person that you long to be. Yes, you CAN do it. If you couldn't do it, you wouldn't be driving yourself crazy that you are not where you want to be. God Bless!

Answer 2

You might have something called "Social Anxiety Disorder" or "Social Phobia." Some people think it just means shy, but it’s more than that. Some people for instance could act on a stage but not be able to speak to strangers or casual acquaintances at a party. You get too nervous, your thinking becomes irrational. A mildly bored look by someone may be interpreted as they despise you, etc.

I have this disorder and have been helped out tremendously by something called "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy". I used to be unable to even leave my home or make a phone call. Now those things usually happen without a second thought (of course there are relapses now and then).

Anyway, you might want to look for a therapist that specializes in anxiety disorders, tell him/her about your particular problem, and perhaps ask them about cognitive behavioral therapy.

Answer 3

I'm like that a lot, even if I know somebody quite well I avoid them, even though I'm on friendly terms with them! Though I can talk to people when I'm in a uniform on duty.

Good luck, I hope you get over it.

Answer 4

Yes I am when I want to. Its a good game to play when you just need a break from things. Enjoy your 12 day vacation any way you want to !

Answer 5

make self confidence