Ok, so he lives a thousand miles away, and we had talked a LOT. We definitely fell in love, so we decided to be "together" (if you can imagine :-/) So, 2 days after our 4-month anniversary, my mom and dad had a talk and decided to cut him off completely. He told my dad to f**k off and go to hell, and well that just kinda sealed it. He definitely has some problems, but he was getting over them... he was getting better until my parents decided to not let me talk to him. I know he loves me, and he knows I love him, and we got to talk for about 5 minutes for the last time. My mom kept saying he's "possesive" and such, but I know him better and he isn't. My dad said in 2 and a half years I could talk to him again and see how everything was, and maybe reconsider the whole thing. I care about him very much, and he cares about me very much, and I want to be with him, but I don't know what to do. My mom said "there are other nice guys out there" but I dont want any other guy.... I want him
2007-06-02 02:11:07 · 17 answers · asked by Emily Autumn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Alright, well his mom and my mom met and became friends, then they met up for a week on a vacation, and my mom met him, and thought he was great. So we started talking (a little bit over email,mostly over the phone) and like I said before. We knew we were going to see each other in a few months (it was planned with our parents) and so we were just holding onto that. Ive only actually spent 10 minutes with him (sadly) but I really liked him even then. Ive tried bargaining with my dad, and he isn't budging one bit. I miss him so much already.. I didn't particularly like the part when he told my dad to f off, either. He has anger problems, but NOT to the point of hurting someone he cares about. Ever.He has ADHD and suffers from depression (his dad died a year ago, and he is still only a teenager) and he goes to therapy for those things. My mom thought we'd be good for each other -- and she's right -- so she kind of pushed us together.He needs someone who understands him&I definitely do
2007-06-02 02:37:32 · update #1
Disrespecting parents in that manner should be unacceptable. If he's willing to say something like that to your dad then I would be careful of what he might say to you in the future when things aren't going so great.
2007-06-02 02:14:24 · answer #1 · answered by Markus 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's too much information missing. If he lives 1,000 miles away, what kind of relationship did you have and how do you know anything about him? How did you meet? You also sound pretty young - especially if you will be living with your parents for another two and a half years. If you are in your mid-teens, you're just going to have to accept that your parents have put some boundaries on you. Happens all the time and they do it for one reason - they've been there and know what happens if there are no boundaries. And, to tell the truth, sounds like this guy has issues. If you are an adult and they are putting boundaries on you, move out and see - or talk to - whoever you want.
2007-06-02 09:20:33 · answer #2 · answered by macguff 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You Know what I'm 25. Have been with my husband since i was 17. Before him i dated a guy my mom and dad put a stop to because they did not like the way he was. I was mad about it. But them i found my husband. After 4 years i ran in to my Ex boyfriend. And i can tell you my mom and dad were right. He is no better off now then he was then acting like he is 15. No job and lives with his mom. You are upset now but trust me your mom and dad know what they are doing. And if you love him like you say you do then give him the two years. And see how things are. But your parents do have reasons just respect them and try it . You never know what can happen.
2007-06-02 09:22:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this might suck to be told, but sometimes your parents are right! Your parents or others might see things you don't, because you are in love with this guy you don't really see the things that may not be good for you. You also might not want to be told this...THERE ARE OTHER GUYS OUT THERE!!! And if you don't want any other guy then wait for him. I'm really sorry that your parents wont let you see him anymore. If he really loves you like you say he does then he will wait 2 1/2 years for you!! You just need to look at the big picture.
2007-06-10 00:58:37 · answer #4 · answered by t 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it seems as your parents are only thinking what's the best option for you. any guy who talks to your parents in that way you shouldn't really consider dating in the 1st place. parents are always going to be judgemental. it's how it's always been. at the end of the day, they only want what's best for you. you can't help who you fall in love with, but if there's someone who you're interested in that has a bad side to them, there's no point in trying to change them because just when you think they have changed, you realise they havent. and when things get messed up really badly, you'd run to your parents. just make sure you are careful and don't let your feelings for this guy bring out the worst in you. any other person would say to you that you can do better, which you can.
2007-06-02 09:26:47 · answer #5 · answered by kristyb872001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, I'm guessing this is an internet relationship and you sound like you may be under 18? Yeah I would listen to your parents if he truly loved you he wouldn't mind the wait and if he truely loved you and respected you he wouldn't have told your father to **** off. That right there is a red flag of the kind of person he truly is inside. I'm sure this isn't want you wanted to hear but its the truth. You may think you know him but unless you see this person in everyday living in person you don't know him. People can put up all kinds of faces online and be excons,liars,and child molesters. Your parents are looking out for you appreciate that some kids don't have that.
2007-06-02 09:17:50 · answer #6 · answered by Maribel J 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
were you paying the phone bills? Your dad should be glad the guy is a 1000 miles away, that will cut down on the chances of him becoming a grandfather. You are obviously way too young to be having any kind of serious relationship if you are talking about a four month "anniversary, and you mom is right dont waste your time with one guy who isnt even there, you are young get out there and enjoy it, being a guy i can guarentee that he is.
2007-06-02 09:17:17 · answer #7 · answered by rand a 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My girlfriend lives all of 12,000 miles away in the Philippines.
A gem is a gem, whether here or there.. & it's value doesn't change.
A lot of scummy guys live here. It's a new generation that your parents will never understand.
Keep in touch with him and bargain with your dad, as he's somewhat supportive. It might be wise to keep an open eye at what's before you--as you sound young... But in the end, it's your life and no one else's. This guy sounds like a keeper
To your mom.. this guy from afar sounds like he's too far. Tell your mom: "He's far, but close to heart." The only way our generation will understand your mom's concern is... if we thought of having a relationship with someone who lives on another planet(if humans lived on other planets.) Your mom doesn't believe that it's possible to last--because of the distance, no person-to-person contact & you're young. She also may think you're wasting your time closing your eyes to guys around your area. She may say: Live in reality
In reality, I believe in you and make your parents understand the reasons you love him. Also let them know that you've planted a seed that will grow & also give them the benefits of this long distant relationship--no worries of getting impregnated young.
Also say this! A marriage of two people is normally a marriage of two minds--it's not only a marriage for the physical aspect of marriage.
For older people to understand this concept, think of Warren Buffet. In the beginning, Warren Buffet built his fortune in investing in everything that maybe 2% agreed upon. When everyone was rushing out of a stock, he came in & invested in broken stocks--not broken companies. Though 2% of people may have agreed with his strategies, he proved the world wrong and became the 2nd richest man alive(behind Bill Gates.)
My point? If Warren Buffet listened to every critic, he wouldn't have become the 2nd richest man alive. If this girl listens to people who don't support her(the norm) she could lose out on the biggest gem around(and gems never change in value--where ever it is)
***news flash news flash! Just read your update. If you're interested in him.. let him know he's got anger issues and must change. Also, be careful in confusing 'being there' as a friend for being the prime reason you're together. A relationship is built upon two strong individuals--not between a strong one--you-- and a weak one who always needs to be picked up.
God Bless
2007-06-02 09:20:18 · answer #8 · answered by brownebloke 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First of all, kudos for having decent spelling in your question. I only have one thing to say about your question. Despite the excuses you have made for this young man (anger issues, ADHD), you should have lost any desire to speak with him again when he chose to speak to your father in the manner he did. Good God girl, have a little self respect and hold out for the "man" that will treat you and your parents like gold. Get your education, focus on other things until you're old enough that your parents won't be making these decisions for you.
2007-06-10 07:45:03 · answer #9 · answered by These Eyes See Everything 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you are pretty young, and if he lives that far away, it makes me wonder about a couple of things. 1st - if he is that far away, I would think that it would be hard for him to be possessive, as you have your own mind and will, and without him being nearby, you can pretty much do what you like. 2nd - because you are young, I would hate to see you cut yourself off from relationships with others that are near by and you can go and do things with, and have fun in these years. I know its cliche', but these are the best years of your life, you should be out having fun with people near you and making the most of it!! 3rd - parents have to do things that children don't like, there must be a reason for them to want you to break it off. I can tell you, that any young man that told my dad to f*** off - I would not want anything to do with him after that, for the bottom line is, if he will talk to your Dad like that, how will he talk to you? 4th and last, if you still feel like this in 2 1/2 years, then call him, then its your decision, but for now, you live under their roof, their rules, their guidance, and they are only trying to do what is best for you in the long run. Cherish your parents, do as they ask of you, without making them feel like they are the bad guys, because they truly to love you and want whats best for you. Good luck - stay positive
2007-06-02 09:19:45 · answer #10 · answered by MommaSchmitt 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋