my MIL is such a pain what to tell.ahe doesn't have any communication skills .the moment i tell her any incidence she is ready with one of her own.sometimes she won't even let me finish and start speaking.even if i want to get up to do some work she will keep speaking.she is very repetitive also in my 4.5 years of marriage there are so many incidences that i've heard n number of times but she never get tires of telling them again an again.she doesn't like to do household chores she will just in her easy chair and pass orders to me. she just sits there watch TV and eat.
sometimes i'am so fed up that i just lock myself up in my room with my kid.i feellike getting separated from them but am afraid that people won't understand and i will be blamed for everything.she has many siblings and all stay at same place.they all will just listen to her side of the story. what should i do to stay calm and tolerate her.
2007-06-02 00:58:42 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my husabnd is away on sailing he is in merchant navy.he stays on sail for 6-7 months.
2007-06-02 18:54:15 · update #1
You and your husband need to get your own life outside of momma's home.
This is not normal to be so close with family.
2007-06-02 02:48:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry about your mother-in-law problem. She may be aging earlier and losing some memory skills and that is why she is so repetitive telling her stories.
Does she help you a little with babysitting? Is there any upside at all to the living situation? Your husband isn't exposed to this as much as you are so he probably doesn't see it as a serious problem.
One thing you could do is get a job and put your child in day care while you work. If the day care is good quality, at least you would be out among other adults and get a break from her demands.
This would be the 'separation' you need but at the same time your m-i-l would have a home. I'm assuming that without you, she would be alone and feel isolated. If she contributes at all financially to the home and the bills you pay, then at least you can be thankful for that. It is no small thing.
2007-06-09 08:33:21 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know who lives with who here. I am sure it is not easy being a mom with a husband who is gone 6-7 months Rather then let her frustrate you I would get myself out of her way and see if you can get out on some play dates for the child or join
some classes like Mommy and me. The less you have to be around her might help you to have a little more patience when you are in her company. Locking yourself in a room like a jail bird is not the answer.
2007-06-07 07:01:40 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, depends on the age of the MIL if she is in her 70's or so it has to do with age. Lots of people repeat things at that age. As a matter of fact, people of younger age do the same thing.
A lot of people don't let others finish saying things. At that point you may have to say, may I please finish my sentence or you just tune her out and act like you listening. I do that a lot with people. I have one lady I work with you does that it is very annoying.
As far as her sitting and barking orders, that is not right and my suggestion would be to have a family meeting and see how to solve these issues. Your MIL may not realize what she really is doing.
You need to take over your home and get back to your kids. It is not fair to your kids that you shut your self in your room. One day these kids will need you and you won't be there and you will be beating yourself up for that too.
Where is your husband in all this? All I hear about is her family and her and your kids. Tell your husband he needs to speak up or the life he knows will be coming to an end.
As far, as what everyone thinks, so what. Is it better to please others or yourself and keep your sanity.
I would take charge and fix things. Tell her to let me talk I have an opinion too, tell my husband to grow some b---= and talk with my kids and see where they are at mentally and then get my armor on and be ready for a fight. You and your kids sanity and health is more important than a MIL.
2007-06-02 03:41:52 · answer #4 · answered by GrandmaJo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's bored!!! and driving you crazy... You have to get her involved in the house or help with your kids otherwise you won't make it. You need to be serious with her and have a good talk by that don't point out anything negative about her but explain how you feel. She's from another generation and only have her memories left. She might just need a push in the right direction. Please don't lock yourself up!! Reclaim your family and house make it work for everybody living under the same roof husband included.
2007-06-02 01:12:18 · answer #5 · answered by lynda l 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to look at this as a possible disease process! Has she been checked out to see if she has beginning Altzheimers or dementia?
Repetitive speech, forgetfullness, inability to handle daily tasks are all signs of memory issues. Can you talk to your own doctor or a health care professional? Try the AlzInfo.org website. Check out the symptoms and see if they fit the situation you are in.
In the meantime, have patience. You are doing the best you can in a difficult situation! Follow your instincts and take care of your children--- and yourself. It is not wrong to ask for help from her other family members! If you want to chat further you can email me through my profile!
2007-06-09 18:01:25 · answer #6 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she live with you? If she does descreetly enquire with her relatives that it may be better off if she lives with them (especially considering the financial drain you are having with a kid around). Does your hubby have any siblings? Maybe they'd be willing to take her on for awhile.
I think you need some sort of outlet.. go out with your friends, get the kid and mother in law out of the house for a night (or go stay at a hotel for a weekend).
And talk to your husband. You really need to have a chat with him on how you feel about his mother.
2007-06-02 01:24:04 · answer #7 · answered by Acyla 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't tolerate this. What is it with MIL's thinking and acting like they are royalty and their DIL's are just their lowly subjects? It is ridiculous! You need to have your husband confront her and set limits and boundaries with her. If he won't that means he is choosing his mother over you and in that case he might as well share a bed with her too. If he won't confront her, I suggest leaving. You deserve better than spending the rest of your life like this. Keeping peace will only make you hurt and resentful in the end.
2007-06-02 05:02:13 · answer #8 · answered by NONAME 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People say when you marry your husband you marry their mom. Which i can see why now, i postponed the wedding that i was going to have because of my fiance's mom and because he won't work a full time job. I always feel like she is accussing me of putting my family first for like the holidays because we go to my mom's first and open presents at home where me and my fiance and his daughter live. His mom's mom was married for 58 years and she has never seen blended family issues so she just doesn't get it. We go to my fiance's mom's after we open presents everywhere else so we can spend the rest of the afternoon and evening with his family which is like 10 times the amount of time we spend with mine it is a freaking headache. So stay strong and try to save money so you can move out.
2007-06-02 04:30:07 · answer #9 · answered by chiefs fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my ex mother in law was the same way,she is part of the reason she is an ex! talk to your husband and see how he feels about her moving with her family. i know it can drive you crazy. i use to go to a lot of movies,i even became a candy stripped at the local hospital so i would be home less when my ex husbamd was not hoome.godd luck and i will pray for you.
2007-06-08 00:44:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no way dont stay there aymore there are alot of places out there that can help you start a life for yourself you dont want your baby to grow up and see what is going on cause that child will become one of them.
you know youve had enough dont think about it just grab your **** and get the hell out
lol
someone who cares
2007-06-02 01:24:15 · answer #11 · answered by jackztar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋