Is this email good enough?

Question

This might make more sense if you read my other question.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkQ6FQUPG0Q_EsXDPCXZ_nDsy6IX?qid=20070601213726AAXzAlb

This is an email I'm writing to a newspaper reporter.

Is it good enough

Dear Mr. -----,

My name is ------------. On June 1 I did a video interview with you following the graduation ceremonies at ------ High School. During that interview I offered my full name. I have given it some thought and decided that I am not comfortable with my full name being available on the internet. I request that you either do not post the video or cut out the part where I say my whole name. Because that is the only part I am uncomforable with. I apologize for any inconvenince this may cause. Thank you,
my name

Is it good enough, any suggestions?

Answer 1

Unless you're speaking formally to an official, this sounds fine.

Dear Mr. -----,

My name is ------------. On June 1, I made a video interview following the graduation ceremonies at ------ High School. During that interview, I offered my full name. I have decided that I am not comfortable with my name being available on the internet. I would like to request that my name is not included on the video. I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.
Thank you,
my name

Answer 2

Yes, your email is very clear. Send it quickly; I hope they don't use your name anyway.