A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
2007-06-01 17:47:14 · 28 answers · asked by Harry Hood 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
My wife promised she'd keep that secret, how did you find out about it.? Are you Cuckolding me Larry.?.LMIAOSFHISMS.....Definitely well worth a star.
2007-06-01 17:57:20 · answer #1 · answered by Jim Jnr M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah it's a classic....here's my favourite parrot joke.. woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00, which seemed awfully cheap. "Why so little," she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her seriously and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff." The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then found it kind of amusing. When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them enter and said, "New house, new madam, new chicks." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised. Moments later, the woman's husband came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, "Hi, Thomas!"
2016-05-19 01:07:40 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gooooood 1
2007-06-01 17:50:50 · answer #3 · answered by shawn b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's hilarious!!!
10/10...
2007-06-01 17:50:16 · answer #4 · answered by HONORARIUS 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha! Funny! 10!
2007-06-01 22:57:16 · answer #5 · answered by cats 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yep it is an oldie but its still a good 1
2007-06-01 17:51:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
"LARRY" This is gonna hurt!! There comes a time when you have to give way to "ONEUPMANSHIP" with a little help from the vaseline of course! > JK <
2007-06-01 18:37:30 · answer #7 · answered by JOKERSWILD 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You think that's funny? I was the guy in the chair. LOL
2007-06-01 17:51:24 · answer #8 · answered by peartree72 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes I had heard it before, but it was still good.
2007-06-02 00:06:53 · answer #9 · answered by Caveman's daughter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oldie but goodie two thumbs up
2007-06-01 18:39:57 · answer #10 · answered by black_gurl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋