Parenting questions? (3 year old)?

Question

I was in the store with my "3 year old" daughter, and she looked at another little girl and said "oooohhhh my gosh!!". I asked her "What is it?" She said "She is FAT". I felt so bad, and to be honest, I was speechless!. I told her that was not very nice and big girls don't say things like that!! My question is: Where do little kids pick up comments like this? And how can I prevent her from saying things like this again?

Answer 1

Kids' brains are like sponges, they can pick up on stuff like that anywhere. Brothers, sisters, dads, moms, other family members, T.V. (especially T.V.)!! Watch out, they repeat everything!!

As a parent you must teach your children right from wrong as well as good manners and how to be respectful of others.

Answer 2

Kids pick up things everywhere! They are like little sponges!!!!
I had a similar problem with my little sister (I'm 16 yrs older than her). We were in the grocery store and she saw an African-American lady whose skin was really dark and asked me what was wrong with her. My sis had not seen anyone that dark before. I told her that God made her that color the same way he made her and all the other people different colors. I started to point out different people in the store and told her how beautiful each person was and how boring it would be if we were all the same color. You can use the same rational with the different sizes of people.

I've come to find out that if you give them an explenation for things it is better than punishment. You did right by telling her that we don't call people names, but then explain that people come in all different shapes and sizes.
As far as preventing 3 year olds from saying things that embarass us... Good luck! I'm right there with you (I have a 3 yr old boy)

Answer 3

Please don't take this the wrong way, but children usually learn things like that at home. Either that or at school or even from television. Children listen to everything and at 3 they usually want to repeat everything too. Just let her know that comments like that might hurt someones feelings if they heard her say it. Then give her an example that you know would hurt her feelings if someone said it to her just so she understands. Children that age need something to relate to. When my sister was little she was in the store with my mom and asked a little black girl "why are you black?" My mother wanted to die! Sometimes they say things and because they are so little people laugh it off, but you just need to have a serious conversation with her about it and bring it down to her level of understanding. She must have dolls that you could maybe work out a scenario with. Good luck to you!

Answer 4

An interesting developmental milestone is that toddlers and young children recognize when other children are younger than them, but not older. Your daughter just wanted to play how she normally does with other kids, but the older kids probably only wanted to play with their own friends. It's not that either your daughter or the other kids were wrong. Just explain to your daughter that the other kids were playing with their friends and were probably too shy to meet a new girl right then. Cheer her for trying to meet new kids, and make sure she understands that she didn't do anything wrong. We've got much the same issue--our daughter is very tall (43 inches at 3.25 years old), and just assumes that other kids her size are the same age. She's outgoing so will often try to play with kids her size, but who are up to three year older than she is. That doesn't go so well, but she understands that sometimes kids just want to to play their own games.

Answer 5

well, i think all kids have to hear it from somewhere not saying its the parent but try to liston out for little comments that children will take to heart. Like when mommys try on new clothes or we dont feel very good that day we might say :god i am fat" or what ever then children start to notice ok that is what fat is? Just keep telling her that all people are beutiful and size does not make the person..

Answer 6

I would talk to your daughter about how all people are different sizes, colours, appearances, etc. and that it's okay for everyone to look different. I would then explain that we can give compliments to people if we're saying something nice, but that it's not polite to comment on things like size and that the word fat isn't nice. I would then be careful what you're daughter is exposed to, is she hearing comments about being fat around the house, at day-care, on T.V., etc. and try to limit that influence.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, "Kids say the darndest things".... If the little girl heard your daughter I would've made her say sorry. It's good that you explained what she said was wrong. At that age I think that's about all you can really do... I think kids pick a lot of things up from the television. Even commercials, and things you wouldn't even think of... My son started saying "You idiot" it's in the Pixar/Disney "CARS" movie said twice! I had to explain to him that it's not nice to call people idiots. He even knew how to use it...! GEEZ.

Answer 8

Possibly from television. Its amazing how much they will pick up from that. Or simply she could of heard someone in passing at the store say something similar. I would use time outs for saying bad things or not allowing her to do certain things.

Answer 9

Oh my. This same thing happened to me on the bus when my then three year old...gulp...gently caressed, like it was a cat, a rather large bottom that was unfortunely smack dab in his face. He then proceeded to proclaim " That woman's bottom is REALLY fat!" Where he heard the word fat, probably from his father or myself, or possibly daycare, probably a combo of all three. I told my son that there are a few things NOT to comment on : Size ( tall/short, thin/fat) disabilties ( I can't recall of how I phrased it, maybe like when you see someone in a wheel chair...), speech epidements,etc. You know, all the taboos. I then proceeded to tell him the things that he could comment on.( that person has blue eyes like me, or things of the like)
I let him know, that it was alright to note things like the tallness of someone, just not to vocalize them until he got within the confines of our own home. I think it's important for them to inquire/comment about things, and not feel...well, really bad about saying things like that, just so they also know that it's not the polite thing to do. Kids just call it like they see it, forever curious, always wanting to sound as if they were the first person to ever notice said characterisitic, forever embarrasing their parents.

Answer 10

She probably learned it from t.v. or other kids. You should limit the amount of time she gets to watch t.v. Also, screen what she watches and watch t.v. with her. If she's in daycare, she may also have learned it from other kids. You need to teach her about what's nice and what's not nice to say. Also, teach her that everyone is a beautiful person.