please help! what do i do about my daughter please answer?

Question

I got a call from my daughter Haley's b/f mom, i was shocked to hear this because my daughter never act out to get attention or anything. She is always a pretty little princess, i dont know how i am going to tell my husband, he will be mad.

Haleys boyfriend mom called me and told me all of the stuff haley is doing. I was shocked on what she was doing with her b/f. She is attractive but she is suppose to be my princess, she is 17 and in high school and so is her b/f. here is some of the stuff she is doing

- Acting wild in school with her b/f terry
- Acting like a sl*t around her b/f according to his mom
- goes joyriding with her b/f and takes her shirt off exposing her bra(victoria serect)
-her b/f mom found a pair of her pantys in his room
-her b/f defends her when someone hit on her or call her a wh*ore or ****.
-Grabs her b/f private area while in her b/f house and grabs his butt
- his mom thinks they are having sex alot
- looking at her buff b/f in boxers
-goes to partys with him

please what do i do and how do i talk to her. i am so disappointed in her. She is attractive and her b/f loves it when she wears short shorts or whatever u call them and he loves looking at her butt in jeans. They do love each other because he bought her a promise ring.

also his mom told me, that she did walk in on them making out. She was on top of him in her bra and panties and she did talk to them.

please what do i do please how do i tell her. they are in high school and been together for 3 years. Her b/f is attractive too, he stays in fit and works out. My daughter haley is beautiful, she has pretty blue eyes and beautiful blonde hair until she put highlights in her hair and now she is wearing really short skirts and heals and those shirts where u can she the girls stomach and i cant stand her dressing like that. Her boyfriend terry dresses in baggy pants showing his boxers and always wearing a musicle shirt showing his muscles. please how do i talk to her

i had been suspious with them too. Her b/f mom does not lie, i knew her for years even before they started dating, she says she is a nice girl.

Answer 1

Sounds like your little princess is doing a lot of grown up things. There are a lot of different ways to go with this.

I'd probably sit down with her and have an open discussion with her. There's a chance that some of this could be blown a bit out of proportion by bf's mom. If she caught them doing something, it's common that he'll blame it on her to avoid getting into trouble. So just remember that it "takes two to tango." But I'm guessing she's not totally innocent in all of this.

I guess you're going to need to remind her of what you expect from her. These days many parents will allow their teenager to have sex or just accept that this is what's going to happen. I don't know what your expectations are of her, but I think it's time to revisit them. If you're semi-ok with all this, you may want to hone in on the concept of safe sex (not a bad conversation to have regardless). If this is absolutely against all that you stand for then you may want to tighten the reins on her and not allow her so many freedoms.

Either way, she is 17....almost 18. She's not your little princess anymore. Good luck!

Answer 2

It seems that you have let your "little Princess" get away with a lot of stuff, even though you claim that she acts sweet and as a Princess around you. She knows how to act with you so that she will get what she wants. Obviously she knows you very well. I would definitely and as soon as possible talk to her and have your husband there too. Her dad needs to know what is little Princess has been up to.
She needs to know how she has disappointed you and her dad. Her privileges staying at her boyfriend's house should be altogether cancelled. She is only 17, why is she spending too much time at her boyfriend's house. She should be home more often so that you can know what she is up to. She is much to much involved in and with her bf, when does she do chores around the house, take care of her clothes and room and do her homework. At her age she should be helping you with the cooking and housework, there is nothing wrong with that. Unless you want to raise one spoiled lazy, uneducated Princess.
I would definitely see that she spent more time at home, and her clothing allowance would be canceled if she does not choose more age appropriate clothes. Let her go out to work to buy her own clothes if she refuses to co-operate, but do not give her your money to dress in the style she has chosen. I think as the mother you should be there shopping with her helping her choose the proper clothes..
I would definitely have a talk with her and even with her bf, telling them to cool it for a while, that they are both heading for trouble the way they are acting. Start treating her as a young girl that needs your guidance not as some Princess that gets what she wants. Help her face reality, and learn to be a mature, a smart, hopefully indepentantly and educated young lady, and not the a lazy slut that who thinks she deserves everything she wants from men and her family and does not need to lift a finger, because she is a Princess.
Good Luck.

Answer 3

Restrict her time with the boyfriend or stop allowing her to see him altogether. Take away privileges she likes, such as TV time or hanging out with her friends outside of home. Parents like this make me so angry because when I was 17 I never would have done any of those things, I never caused my parents or any teachers any trouble, but my father STILL did not allow me to have a boyfriend! He would have put a belt to my a.s.s. if he had ever found out I was doing that stuff at that age! He didn't even want my mother to let me shop from her Victoria's Secret catalogue even though I only wanted to get the granny panties. I saved up my money ever since I got my first job at 16 so I could get the hell out of their house. Your daughter doesn't know how good she's got it and you're treating her like an adult when she's not one yet. It's time to crack the whip and start realizing your daughter is not a "little princess" she needs some serious discipline NOW.

Answer 4

The first thing I want you to do is take a deep breath and calm down. The worse thing you can do is go screaming up to her accusing her of all manner of things.
Now, what to do? Find a quiet moment and talk to your daughter. Tell her what was told to you. You do NOT have to say who told you these things. The most important part of what was told to you was about your daughter and her boyfriend having a lot of sex. You must make sure your daughter is protected and you must get her started on her regular exams. This is something that a mother does talk to her daughter about and she does it from a position of love.
Next before talking to her about school, call the school and make an appointment to talk to her councelor. Find out if your daughter has had any problems at school either with acting out or if her grades are falling. After you find out what she is doing you can talk to her.
Lastly, about the way she dresses. She is dressing in what teenagers consider fashion and so is her boyfriend. You and I may not approve but then again our mother's did not approve of the way we dressed. This is the least of your problems.
Please when you talk to your daughter, remain calm. Do not threaten her with dire punishments that you have no intention of doing. If she is having sex, take care of it. If she is being wild at school and has falling grades ground her until her grades come up and you hear from the school that her behavior has improved. Don't worry so much about her clothes. You can tell her that you would like her to wear longer skirts and shirts but I believe you will lose that battle.
Finally, when you are done talking to her be sure to tell her that you love her. Tell her, her behavior will not change that and you will always love her.
Once you have talked to your daughter and the school and you have got a solution worked out tell your husband. She is still his princess and he needs to remember that screaming she cannot see that boy will only make her want to see him more. Daddy's so do not want their baby girls to grow up. It is rather sweet but it does make some things (like this) more difficult.

Answer 5

Do you believe her? Don't you think the school would call if she was acting up? Don't you think someone you know other than the B/F's Mom would have seen her flashing her bra? How does the Mom know they were your daughter's panties? Sniff them?

IF you are concerned, talk with her. Make sure she knows how to keep herself safe. Make sure you tell her Dad what you know is the God's honest truth (investigate these allegations before believing them!) - and then discuss RATIONALLY - I REPEAT - RATIONALLY what step you and your husband want to/need to take in order to get her back in line!!!

Answer 6

Actually there is not a thing you can do. If you intervene she will argue and hate you, she will have to live her life as she sees fit for the time being, the best thing you can do is be there when everything falls apart , and by appearances it will.

Answer 7

A 17 year old girl is going to start experimenting with her sexuality. This is a normal part of development.

Talk to her about being safe and realize that your can't control her behavior.

Answer 8

let her be free dude!! it's her life.. she is 17.. she is almost an adult.. i think she needs to make her own decisions.. and no u look over her shoulder all the time