i don't really want to cheat, i was raised catholic, but i've gone through so much in my life that i feel like i'm losing my faith. My husband has cheated on me in the past, and i forgave him, tried to wrk things out. But if your constantly being put dwn, and then someone else tells you nice, good things, wouldnt it make sense to be with the one that tells u nice things? And if i stay w/ my husband for the kids and have an affair will i go to hell??
2007-06-01 12:53:40 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
There is no Hell. When you're dead, you're dead for a long time. Live when you have the chance.
2007-06-01 12:56:30 · answer #1 · answered by canucklehead1951 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
no such place as hell and I was raised catholic as well. Life is just a learning journey, you don't really get punished just learn from mistakes. Try and have faith in God and don't rely so much on Man Made Religion, trust your own communication and connection to god and what you believe in, let it come from your heart. An affair can be just something fleeting, work on the marriage you have if you intend staying, don't stay for the children if thats all you are there for as they then suffer as well. Children know when the love has gone before you do and it has a big effect better to remove them, then allow more heartache. Good Luck.
2007-06-01 13:06:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, as sad as it is, but you took the vow to be faithful to your husband.
The only way to be able to be with the person who is kind to you and treats you the way you should be treated is to divorce your husband - but with that said... divorce is only okay if your husband consistantly cheats on you and makes no effort to make your marriage right.
Another thing, your "idea" of hell is up for debate. I don't believe in a "hell" like the catholic church teaches. Hell is actually going to the earth itself for those who deny God and live a corrupt life without Him. While the earth burns, the righteous will be in Heaven with God.
With that said... God does forgive. But if you CHOOSE to sin - you are going to have to reap the concequenses later - if it is in sickness or if your children are damaged... or whatever.
You don't want to mock God or tempt Him... What He says he sticks by. Work on that marriage - you were the one that married the man. Fix it!
Suggestion: Men LOVE to feel as though they are first in their womans lives... they want the respect, and attention. They're not complicated. We like it too. So... if he isn't giving you the attention you need... You are the only one that can change that. Give him the attention he feels he has to get from someone else. The old fashion idea of marriage works! Do his laundry. Keep the house clean. Make dinners for him for after he gets home. Rub his feet. Ask for his advice, and take it. Make a point to compliment him. Tell him you appreciate all he does. Leave him a little note saying you love him on his toothpaste... or on his morning meds. And here is the big one... have sex with him when he's in the mood. Don't deny him. You may not be in the mood at the time... but a little effort never hurt anyone!
Even if you don't truely feel loving towards him... the acts will produce many rewards. It might take a while... but men are easy to please. In order for him to change (which you can't personally MAKE him do) you have to change your ways of acting and thinking. Quit the nagging... and keep the negative comments to yourself. Be direct in your questions and make a point to be thoughtful.
You'll be SO surprised how he will relate to the attention!
2007-06-01 13:13:10 · answer #3 · answered by InnerBeauty28 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost: Once a cheat, always a cheat. Cheating is rooted in a permanent moral hiccup (if you will). I never trust a cheat nor would I forgive a cheat. They are toast. If a guy friend cheats on his wife, I don't trust him on a personal level (and I'm a guy).
Grab what's left of your self esteem and get the heck out; kids will be just fine, they are resilient and can adjust to anything.
Get your life figured out and on track because it goes by pretty quick.
As for the hell thing, you'll have to wait and see....but, seriously, do some hardcore common-sense thinking about this, you're wasting time with your current thought pattern.
2007-06-01 13:04:48 · answer #4 · answered by BillBobThornton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you will not to hell. There will be a time of condemnation and repentance. Your hell will b on earth. You will have a hard time living with yourself, looking in the mirror. Is it worth compromising your integrity? I know catholics don't believe in divorce but he cheated on you and the BIBLE says that you are free and exonerated from that relationship. Kick him to the curb. You are one of the lucky ones who has an excuse.
The answer to your question is your life will be hell if it isn't already.
Either get professional help or move on. God forgives. We are the ones who can't let go.
2007-06-01 13:56:53 · answer #5 · answered by momof2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cheat on your husband and become like him, won't you lose your self-respect??? I think this is the first thing you should think, and coming to the issue of hell, well I'm not a Christian but I can say that if you commit a sin, and you are not forgiven, yes you go to hell... That's what the holy books say, but this is something only God knows...
2007-06-01 12:58:53 · answer #6 · answered by pumpkin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to do what makes you feel good and don't stay with the guy for the kids sounds like our story my mom stayed with our dad for us when he cheated and it took her ten years to see the light but I think you should move on to find someone who says nice things to you and loves you but don't cheat during the marriage just leave him or be unhappy in the coming years.
2007-06-01 13:00:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
knowing it is a sin and still doing it is like a slap in the face to God, marriage is a covenant, not a commitment or a contract, a contract is all about you and what you get out of it, a covenant is about giving up your will and living for your spouse, If you are truly thinking of cheating why even be with him, but if you are committed to your marriage then forget the past and move on, you are supposed to love your spouse and thinking like this is not love, you shouldn't just "stay together for the kids" it is unhealthy for all parties involved but to answer your questin, if you die in sin you go to hell, period.
2007-06-01 13:03:25 · answer #8 · answered by LayneP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion it's NEVER ok to have an affair. You're better off leaving your husband, than having an affair. You know how the affair hurt you, and you have kids to think about. Let your husband be the bad guy in this. Keep your own "slate" clean for your children's benefit..
Try working it out 1st if you can, if not... leave him... his affair opened the door to divorce.
Best wishes hun.
2007-06-01 13:00:57 · answer #9 · answered by ™Tootsie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all there is no hell, so don't worry.So you want take revenge or are you seeking love and affection? You say that you are living for kids sake.Your relationship might be detected and it might wreck your marriage.Anyway extra marital relationship is not advisable.Even if you do it ones or twice it should not bother you.So be cool ,baby.
2007-06-01 13:02:25 · answer #10 · answered by cupid 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It can't be worse than the hell you're in now, Don't buy a water bed, you drift apart even more
2007-06-01 13:01:56 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋