I met him 4 years ago.Were officially dating in Jan 04 but in April 04 he said he was moving away but it was really bc he was getting married. But he was w/me the night before his wedding, he called me the day of his wedding & kept in touch with me atleast 2 to 3 times a wk everyday after that. We became a couple a yr ago. He met my family & I met his & everything was fine. I found out 3 months ago he was married! I had no clue that his mom & dad thought i was a friend but his sister's knew who i was. He left his wife @ the beginning of the yr & is now seperated & is in the process of getting divorced. Now we're always together.I don't know how to present myself w/ his parents now bc @ this point, i'm technically his lover.I find it very hard 2let go of him bc he's been there w/me thru all my hardships.My mom is currently diagnosed w/ malignant cancer & was told she has 2 yrs to live.I don't know if I love him or I just need him as my security blanket. What do i do?
2007-06-01 10:25:54 · 30 answers · asked by Sviera0105 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok let me add more details b4 i people eat me alive on here...I apologized to his wife. I found out in January. I left him in january. I never looked or talked to him after that up until recently. Around April we started talkin again. he had already left his wife and filed for divorce. Everyone makes me seem like the bad person here. I apologized to his wife, and left him. Now, if people are going to be calling me a whore, a wench, a ****, and every other judgemental thing, then dont comment at all.
2007-06-01 10:46:28 · update #1
Get out of his life for good, let them see if their marraige can be saved without your influence. Why would you even want to be with someone like him?
2007-06-01 10:34:33 · answer #1 · answered by Phil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was with you the night before his wedding? Yes this is a keeper!!! This man has no idea what love is, or dedication to one's mate no wonder his marriage did not last, and guess what you will be the next. Run, Run like the wind you are only asking for a world of hurt, and heartache, if you stay with this no class gigolo. Myself I feel sorry for his wife, but then again I know the feelings, first wife did it to me, and guess what, after over 23 years she has never had a solid relationship. Me was smart enough to leave and have been happily married now for over 25 years. Sluts come in all sizes, shapes, and sexes
2007-06-01 10:38:12 · answer #2 · answered by Pengy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you are going through. I think when the time is right you will know what to do, because no one can know what to say except yourself. In my situation I told his mother up front that I was seperated and from there the bond grew. It started out rocky at first but once they know the truth it gets better. He sounds like someone who really knows you and if I were you I would set him down sometime and tell him how you feel about the situation and that he needs to tell his parents with you present. As for the situation with your mother i'm sorry to hear that but if he loves you I think he will understand what you are going through and try to make things on you as relaxed as possible.
We sometimes feel the need to have someone in our lives but in the end everyone needs someone to run to in times of need because when our parents are gone and if we can't talk to our siblings then who else do we turn to? As I said though, have him tell his parents so that the tension will relieve itself and you two can move forward and not back. Good luck and best wishes to you.
2007-06-01 10:36:20 · answer #3 · answered by scrappy537 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a person cheats on a spouse who is to say that they wont do it again, the person is very UN TRUSTWORTHY. He had his cake and was eating it to. And now you are going to let him get straight back into the same situation.
Go talk to support groups for your mothers condition, some have them for the entire family.
In other words take that security blanket and put it aside, cause all that will happen is your head is going to be screwed with even more
2007-06-09 10:27:48 · answer #4 · answered by Tera 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to settle down and sort out your feelings for this guy! Yes what you did was bad, but eventually everything happens for a reason and if they are getting divorced than he is meant to be with you. Anyhow you eventually are gonna' have to face his parents and get what you deserve from them.Note: This could be good or bad. And about your mom I am sorry to hear about her cancer it has to suck to know that. I have a question though:Didn't you and him meet even before your mom knew she had cancer??? If you did than the security blanket thing has nothing to do with this relationship.
2007-06-01 10:38:54 · answer #5 · answered by Chicana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of this....easier said than done I know. Do you know what karma is? He will do the same thing to you sooner than later! There are those types in this world who are not satisfied with having just one person in their lives at any given time. Did she divorce him because she found out about you? Once you found out he was married you should have done the right thing. He will meet someone else and you will once again be the other woman.
2007-06-01 10:39:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's a winner there.
Don't get into him. Leave him now.
--He cheated on his fiancee the NIGHT BEFORE THE WEDDING. If that wasn't the clue, I don't know what is.
--You're in denial if you are really surprised that he got married.
--He's seperated. Not divorced. As far as you should be concerned, he has no aspect of commitment.
I'm sure he's a great guy, but ANY PERSON who would cheat on their spouse and fiancee the very night before they got married is not worth your time and love. How do you know he isn't already cheating on you?
2007-06-01 10:29:55 · answer #7 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a difficult to answer but I think you really no the answer already, I think you only want him becuse you feel like you need him, In 2 or 3 years time who is to say he won't get bored with you and run off with another woman, he obviously has no respect for women.
2007-06-09 05:50:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch. Well I have to say he doesn't seem like someone you're well off to be invested in. You can certainly maintain a friendship after some time and space to get yourself oriented in your own proper direction. It's good you had what you had but you really need and want to find your own man.
2007-06-01 10:30:36 · answer #9 · answered by mochaccino 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay honestly ask yourself this why would you want to be with someone who is a cheater? you know he will do it to you, once a cheater always and what goes around comes around 3 fold girl. you dont want to let go of him because you dont want to you're probably insecure of being alone...i dont think your mom should have anything to do with it unless you dump this loser and spend as much time with her as you can. this is a really selfish act on both parts. you should have no contact with this guy until everything is finished.
2007-06-01 10:35:10 · answer #10 · answered by Lux 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well at least he divorced his wife most guys want the best of both worlds so maybe fate tok longer than expected dont listen to these ppl who be hatin just explain to his parents you didnt know and make sure he doesnt do you like he did his wife
2007-06-09 10:26:08 · answer #11 · answered by destineelouise 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋