How young's too young?

Question

A guy asked me out the other day. He's good-looking and seems really nice. The only problem I have is that I've found out he's only 21! When I said yes I assumed he was mid-twenties. I'm 31, should I cancel? I'm also worried that he doesn't know how old I am.

Update: He rang today to confirm what time he was picking me up & I must have sounded funny because he asked if anything was wrong. I told him that I was 31 and although it was just a date I was uneasy about the age gap. He said that he thought I was in my early 20's but had he known my age he would have asked me anyway. I asked me not to pre-judge him and if I was worried then we could go out for coffee before we went out on a date. I met him earlier & we got on really well. We talked about lots of things & I didn't feel like there was an age gap at all. I'm a young 31 & he's got quite an old head on his shoulders so we clicked with each other. I'm looking forward to the date & am not going read too much into things.

Excuse my spelling! 'He' asked me not to pre-judge him.

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with the difference in age. As long as you are comfortable with each other and have common interests then it will not make a major difference.

At least go on one date since he asked and you already accepted. If it does not work out then there is nothing wrong with not going on a second date.

Answer 2

You're not marrying him, you're just going out. He may be really nice an mature or maybe he just thinks it's hot being with a woman in her "dirty-thirties", but you won't know which until you go out.

You're old enough to know that you make a decision after you have all the information, not before.

That's the objective answer.
Here's the subjective one:
I'm 33 have a good job, great education, fantastic wit, physically fit, and emotionally stable and mature. You should be looking for guys like me. Life is about improving yourself and being with people that help you be a better person. How can a 21 year old help you improve yourself when he hasn't experienced or learned anything about real life yet?

Answer 3

Yes, that's too big of a difference, and in the worst direction. You should probably cancel. To give you an idea of how these things can get out of hand, when he turns 31 and gets ready to settle down, you'll be 41 and past childbearing age. When he turns 41 and still gets horny from time to time, you'll be 51. When he turns 51, you'll be 61. It just isn't a good idea. You can go out on a date with him if you really want to though, I don't see any harm in eating some food and having conversation one night. Good luck!

Answer 4

Is he hot? He must think you are if he asked you out. What's the worst that can happen? You go out have a horrible time and you both agree it was a bad idea and move on. Or you both fall madly in love and live happily ever after. But somewhere in the middle is more likely. You go out enjoy each others company, a month down the road you shack up, and you become his sugar mama. You go to work and he stays home watching Jerry Springer, drinking beer all day, and sleeping with your sister. That just one man's twisted opinion.

Answer 5

Hi, I would be careful here. It is always a younger guys fantasy abot having an older woman. I did this for many years. Eventually I got my older woman and she was married and so was I. Bit of a mess bit it did all sort it out for the best. If it's genuine and not just a fantasy then fine but I always think that older men go best with younger women than the other way around.

Answer 6

Funny Story for you.

I was 22 and out at the bar with some friends. It was the kind of hick bar you never really want to go to, but go there because you get dragged there.

Well, I had been drinking thoroughly all night long and began to notice these two cute ladies sitting a couple of tables away. We exchanged smiles, but I considered myself too drunk to attempt any conversation as I was sure to just end up looking like a fool, so I sat and talked with my friends and enjoyed my evening.

Well, didn't one of these two cute women happen to know one of the people in my group. "Come on over and find a seat" someone yelled. Too bad the table was so full, the two of them were at one end of the table and I was at the other.

Well, after returning from the men's room my seat had been taken by some guy hitting on the girl I happened to be sitting next to. Low and behold the only free seat is at the other end of the table next to these two beautiful women.

Both of them introduce themselves as Nicole. Well, me and women named Nicole have a long and horrible history. In my drunken state, I assume I'm hearing things and must've just missed the first one's name. So I don't even pay anything but friendly, passing attention to the Nicole I know. The other one, is the mystery one. I didn't catch her name. I'm too embarrassed to ask for it a second time, so we talk (as best I can in my state), we dance (see previous bracked info), and we move on to another bar.

I've stopped drinking by now. I want to sober up. I keep dancing, talking, and having a generally good time. Finally I'm sober enough to ask her number without sounding like a drunk creep and she gives it to me. Then her and her friend do the typical woman thing and run off to the bathroom together to talk about me. She comes back out and asks for the piece of paper she wrote her number on.

My heart sinks... she's changed her mind about me. That Evil Nicole has torpedoed me from the Ladie's Room. No, she scratches out the old number and writes a new one down and hands it back to me. She whispers in my ear as she leaves, "That's my real number."

We dated for 2 weeks and had an instensely passionate affair with each other before going our seperate ways. Then, a year later she returns and we've been together coming on close to 4 years now.

She's six years older than me, and though our age difference bothers her sometimes, we love each other immensly and neither one of us would ever think of letting a little thing like age get in the way.

Answer 7

Age is just a number that society catigorizes you by. In other words, age means nothing, its maturity thats everything.

I'm 20, been married for 3 years, and Ive met 45 year olds that lack the maturity I have.

Age matters not.

Answer 8

Age is just a number hun. As long as hes over 21 so u dont get called a pedo ur fine! I know this girl who is 12 years younger than her partner and they dont let age get in the way. If u like him, go for it! xx

Answer 9

if it makes u uncomfortable in any way, I would keep the relationship platonic. He's only 21 which means u'v probably had more life experience than him and willl hopefully be more mature. stick to somebody on ur same level, age and maturity wise. But then again, i could be wrong...u could be just what he needs to grow up a little and he could help u to stay feeling young....its really up to you and what ur comfy with.

Answer 10

Mmm that's a tough one......I'm 31 in 2 months......21's too young for me, However I do know a 41 yr old who is with a 23 ys old and has been for 3 yrs.