Losing my mind...?

Question

I feel like I'm losing my mind...All I want is love. Its something that I am dying for...I don't know why...I guess its one of those situations "you want what you can't have" because as much as a I try I can't find it. You'd think females want a guy whose funny, smart, and sweet. The type that likes to actually go out and do things, instead of just sit around all day. But I've found nothing...I've been able to make some friends...I've fallen in love with 2 girls that didn't have the feeling for me...I've had girls that would be with me for a week or two and move on. I've never had a serious relationship, though its something I want so bad...never even just had a fling...I'm 21...this is supposed to be the best time of my life...How is that someone has so much to offer, people tell you they love you, and that you'd make a girl so happy, but your never good enough for them. I guess the worst part is I don't have anyone to even talk about it, no one really cares. It drives me crazy!

Answer 1

You say that you are 21 years old. That is still pretty young. I know you probably don't think of yourself as young, but you are still a young adult. You still haven't figured everything out in your life. The best time in your life is up to you. That may not happen until you are 70 years old and retired. According to some people, that is the best time. For some, the best time was in college. Others, the best time is when they are married and having their first child. It is always different for everyone. Don't judge what your best time in your life is against what someone else's is. All females want different things. Example, I want someone that has a passion for God and a passion for music. Not every guy has that. But, that's okay. Don't try to be someone that you aren't . The girl that wants the kind of guy YOU are is out there. Be confident. A girl wants a guy that is confident. Be confident in your abilities, talents, personality traits, and so on. If you have fallen for girls that had no feelings for her, then do not waste your time trying to get them to come around to you. If they don't like you, move on to someone else that will love you and respect you. I know several people that haven't had serious relationships by the time they are 21. I have sevearl friends that are 24 or older and haven't really had serious relationship because they are so driven with getting through school that they haven't had time. My father didn't have a serious relationship until he was 28. That was with my mother. They have been married almost 30 years now.

You see. You are not alone. Don't judge your life by the lives of people around you. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Also, don't be in love with falling in love. If you are so desperate for a relationship, you can get yourself into a relationship that you shouldn't have been in in the first place. You may end up being with someone that truly doesn't treat you very well. Don't get yourself in that situation. You are worth more than that. Use the time that you have now to grow in your own confidence. If you need a friend to talk to, you can message me through yahoo answers. I promise you. Waiting for the right relationship is worth it.

Answer 2

No, you're not losing your mind but you do need someone to talk to and discuss your feelings with. I would suggest a counselor, someone who is experienced and can give you good advice, not just another friend who is as inexperienced as you are.
You made a good point, you're only 21. Most men are not really ready to settle down and have a committed relationship at that age so you're not "over the hill" in finding someone. My advice is to continue to be yourself but don't appear so needy, that is off-putting. People don't want someone who clings to them. Find friends thru new interests and build on those friendships. You'll soon find someone who has the same interests and as your friendships become closer then you'll have what you've wanted all along....a committed relationship. I wish you well.

Answer 3

At 21 you sure do try hard to find love. Give it up and enjoy being single. Like you said 21 is best time of your life. It's best time of life not because it's time for you to fall in love, but because you get to enjoy YOUR LIFE. For many 21 is way too early for love. I know! I tried. Love is not something that you force it to happen but happens naturally. That is why some people fall in love in early in life and have successful relationship and some have in later in life. Don't stress out about love but go out there and enjoy your 21. Date much as you can and along the way you just might find the love you been looking for.

Answer 4

Be patient. I felt like you do at 21. Now I'm 27, married, two kids, beautiful life. The best thing you can do is not focus on finding love and focus on being an interesting person. Get out and do stuff, have things to talk about. Think about what you want and go after it, but not out of desperation, instead out of confidence.

Answer 5

STOP LOOKING.... love finds you, not the other way around.

Seriously, "looking back" I wish I had waited until I was 35 to even consider a long term relationship.

But you can't force them, regardless of when you get involved in one.

The perception that you "must" have someone, to feel complete, loved, or less lonely. Isn't healthy. Try going out and finding "friends" not relationships.

Try counseling as well. Not what you want to hear. But, they can help you with some of your issues.

Answer 6

Dude, I sympathize with you. I really do. Sounds sucky.

I know what its like, not really having anyone to talk to. I believe its the universe's way of making you look in to yourself and find your own happiness. If you are not happy then you won't give off that 'energy' that attracts us to each other.

Take heart, all is not lost. Try to put yourself in places where you think a girl of your taste would be. If you enjoy reading, go to your local bookstore with a beverage of your choice and try to strike up conversation. You have to delve outside of your comfort zone....shake things up a bit.

And be confident! Men with defeatus attitudes sends women running. If you enjoy having a good time than let it show!

Good luck, and you have a friend in me!

Answer 7

Sometimes you can't force things to happen or else it wont go your way. Be patient! The right one will come your way, even though it feels like your gonna explode with love. Remember Force=failure & Patience+prosperity! Good Luck You can IM me anytime!

Answer 8

You want it so much it's scaring them off. Learn to like yourself first then learn to love without expecting anything in return. Not only will you feel much better about yourself but you'll be much more attractive to them.

Answer 9

21 dude you are in your prime. Just take it easy you will be just fine. Women your age
are into their friends and having fun so much
that some don't want relationships. I wouldn't take it so personally.

Answer 10

Dude... You need to relax... I understand that you want to be in love badly. You seem to be fretting over it too much though. When you quit worrying so much, and just relax and be yourself it comes to you... Trust me, and if you need to talk feel free to e-mail me.