Should you ever date someone who has bi-polar disorder?

Question

I really, really like this guy.. but he has bi-polar and is on several medications. Is this a horrible idea? Should I run or not judge him right away. I don't know much about the illness... thanks. oh, he's on 3 different meds. one of his meds is lithium... is that extreme or is it normal when you're bipolar to take lithium??

Answer 1

Everybody needs love, but if he has violent tendencies or has been violent in the past (physical abuse – ex-gf, ex-wife, siblings, etc.) stay away unless you want to be a punching bag.

Just like anybody on medication, if you love him that much and you willing to put up with the baggage then go for it. If not leave… it sounds selfish, but you have “One life to live, and you don’t want to spend it at “General Hospital” with “All my children” “as the world turns”

Stay away from the soap opera drama.

Answer 2

Living with someone who has Bi-Polar disorder is extremely nerve wracking. One minute they're up, spending all your life savings, being the life of the party, bringing home strangers who might steal from you, putting your life in danger. Because they're up, they decide that they feel great and don't need to be on their meds anymore, which makes it an even more wild ride. The next minute, when all the money is gone, remorse sets in and the depression hits. He is so down and miserable about what he has done that he can hardly function. Getting up to go to the bathroom is sometimes more than he can force himself to do. Once he gets back on his meds, he will slowly go back to "normal" which is when the wild ride starts again.

If you think you're up to the challenge. If you're strong enough to protect your finances and your person, as well as any children. (Bi-polar disorder is genetic, by the way) Then you're welcome to give it a try.

One of my loved ones is a person who suffers from this disorder and it has been a constant challenge. It continues to be a challenge for us to keep him on his meds. As long as he is medicated, his mood swings are very slight. The meds can also have some negative effects on his health in the long run, though.

I would DEFINITELY suggest that you do some investigation into what this disorder is about. Remember that he can't help that he has this disorder, but you have to be realistic about whether you are the right person to help him and at the same time protect yourself.

Good luck with your decision.

Answer 3

I was with someone (and married) for seven years an extremely bipolar man. I thought somehow I could fix him, that he'd be a better person if I was with him. When he was on an UP time then he would be AWESOME, still is, the most wonderful man in the world. But in extremes, they are usually sexually promiscuous, very extreme in either anger or sadness, sometimes suicidal and tend to have extravegant ideas and spend wildly. Out of any question I could be asked, this is the one that I'd most like to answer. If I could save ONE person from the pure HELL that I have been through then it will be worth it. My life has been in danger many MANY times because of this man. There are people who live with bi-polar people and manage to do it. I read every book I could find and did everything in my power to make it work. The fact that he is taking his meds is a good thing, my man did not and refused any treatment (still does). No one can tell you what to do but it will be so much more difficult to make this decision after you have fallen for the wonderful person he is during his 'up' phase. Life will be a rollercoaster if you choose that path. Do a TON of research on the disease, read the chatrooms of all the spouses having difficulties. I'm not saying he is a bad person in any way or that you don't both deserve love. Sometimes you get in too far though and then there will be children who could've got the disease passed down and everything won't be so pretty. No one can tell you what to do either way, but listen DEEEEEPPPP down after reading up on all of it. It's also called manic depression. I hope you make the right decision and wish I could have got the advice I just gave when I met my ex husband.

Answer 4

people who are truly bi polar take alot of patience. Sit down and ask him about his disorder. Have him tell you about how his moods swing. Just try to be understanding. I don't think you should judge until you are fully informed. If you a mature enough to handle something of this magnitude then I say, take it super slow, and see what happens. Don't get too attatched at the begining because you could soon find out that your way in over your head. I have a friend who is bi polar. She's a great girl, but when she goes off I just have to remember that the things she says and does, she doesn't truly mean. She almost always apologizes later. She doesn't have many friends b/c of her disorder. Many people do judge and run. But if you run out on this guy you could be missing someone super special, just like if I had run out on Jess I would be missing out on a totaly awsome best friend.

But I'm telling you know. ITS NOT EASY. there is a definite strain on our friendship at times, and there would definitly be a strain between you and your man. Try to be a friend to him first. Stay that way for awhile before taking the plunge.

Answer 5

I have some experience with this. My high school sweetheart was bi-polar. She was not that why when we first started dating (being bi-polar usually comes out between 18 through mid 20's). We ended up breaking up. She changed to much.

If you are going to do it be prepared for a huge commitment and really research the disorder so you know what to expect.

Answer 6

Go head you got nothing to lose. The worst thing that can happen is that he can change his moods quickly, but considering that he is on medication I doubt that will happen.

Lithium is a naturally occurring substance. As a medication, lithium reduces chemicals in the body that cause excitation or mania.

Lithium helps to prevent and control symptoms of mania such as hyperactivity, rushed speech, poor judgment, reduced need for sleep, aggression, and anger.

Answer 7

im married to a bi polar. itsw all good but in a relationship like that sometimes you must be firm and stand your ground. lithium is not a bad med for that. bi polars are just more creative and very set in thier ways.

Answer 8

Ima be honest with you right now I Do NOT Think you SHOULD, they go through a lot of changes and it is difficult to watch and life with. Everybody needs to be loved no matter what I understand but if you have a choice you need to read up on his condition because a lot of unexpected things happen that is out of there control. You really don't get to know them truly because to stay stable they have to take there medicine daily for the rest of their lives. I know a lot because both of my parent have a form of Bi-polar disorder. Be careful, think long and hard and make the decision you can live with. You never know he could be your future husband and father of your kids and that is hard.

Answer 9

Just understand this: Bipolar disorder means that he can't always control his moods. It means he gets really high and on top of the world, but will inevitably crash as low as he went high.

As long as he stays with his meds, even in the high times, he should be okay; you just have to know that you will run into the emotional instability sometimes, even with the medications.

Answer 10

Sure, and yes it is normal to be on many different meds. Some are for treatment and some are to counteract sideaffects.

Understand though, that with ANY medical condition, you need to learn about it and how it affects him and will you. It can be tough but if he is under control and well managed you wouldn't even know he has it.

Take it slow and see if you can deal. There's nothing wrong with you if you decide you can't handle it. I suffer from clinical depression and not all my boyfriends have been able to deal-its understandable.