Testifying against my brother?

Question

My brother has pretty much been a deadbeat father. I love him but I cannot do this anymore. He is 20 and his ex is 18 they have a 9 month old daughter togeather. He walked out and has barely seen her and has not bought anything. I do. I call his ex and ask if the baby needs anything. I have been allowed to stay in contact with my niece and have loved every min of it. Him and his ex fight a lot but thats because she will ask him for money for the baby and he says I aint giving you any money. He has just started seeing a 40 year old woman and they have filed papers to get custody. Full Custody which he wont win. The mom is 18 and young but she is a good mom and that baby loves her you can tell. He thinks he can come in and out of her life as he pleases and hes starting to cofuse her. The other day I finally had it and I yelled at Him. I told him It takes more to be a father than a sperm donation. He either needs to support the baby and help with her or get out of her life and leave it.

He got mad and hasnt talked to me. But I care about my niece and I want to have a relationship with her seeing I have a 4 month old myself and I want the girls to know each other. The 40 year old is telling my brother that they can win custody and It has got me in the middle. His ex the babys mom said she was going to supbeona me to court to testify what a bad dad he has been. Am I right if I tell the truth even though he is my brother? And is it right what I said about him coming and going and needing to step up? I am upset at him because hima and his 40 year old gf are trying to take my niece out of a good enviorement. Does that allow me to get involved? Please help I am stressed

tim- She can win the case against him but the judge will want to know what he has payed for. I have had conversations with him telling me that he wasnt giving her money.

He wont win because he has never been there and dosent pay anything. I pick up his pieces and im tired of it. The baby is well taken care of with her mother.

Answer 1

Does the baby's mother have actual, documented proof that your brother has never paid a cent in child support? If that's the case, then your brother is very definitely a deadbeat dad, and needs to be made to live up to his obligations, of which he has MANY. By documented proof, I am not talking about verbal rants here. She needs to show the court and the judge actual proof ( such as receipts from things she has bought for your niece, receipts from things that YOU have bought for your niece, a lease or rental agreement for the apartment she's living in, her paycheck stubs if she's employed, grocery receipts, and even tax returns.) All of her ranting and raving about keeping custody of the baby will do her absolutely no good without proof to back it up. As for your brother, the fact that he is dating someone twice his age will NOT work in his favor in a courtroom- the judge is much more likely to see this as a ruse to try to win custody than as an actual relationship that will benefit his daughter. The 40 year old gf in this case has no legal rights to your niece, nor does she have any say in whether or not your brother gets custody or how he can raise his daughter, simply because she and your brother aren't married or living together, and even if they were betrothed, it would make no difference because she is not the baby's biological mother. Stepparents do not always get custody or get to adopt their spouses' children- I grew up in a blended family myself, so I know that this is a true statement.

I think that you should not hesitate to testify against your brother- and make sure that you also give anything you have in the way of documentation to your niece's mother's attorney. Your brother is clearly a deadbeat who could care less about his daughter's welfare or interests, and the judge will quickly see this. And you are right on another point as well- your brother DOES NOT have the right to come waltzing in and out of your niece's life wherever and whenever he feels like it. His filing papers for custody is undoubtedly something he did at his new gf's urging, because she may think that it will legitamize their relationship- when in fact, it will play out badly in court. He may also have done this out of spite, or because he wants to hurt his ex and this is the easiest way to do this, at least in his mind. I am not an attorney myself, but I read a lot, and I grew up in a blended family where there were 2 divorces and 3 remarriages before I ever reached age 18. I also work in the medical coding field, and in that field, EVERYTHING depends on how well you can document things. I would urge you to go ahead- your niece needs to have someone who can look out for her interests, and she has the right to know her aunt and her cousin(s) as she grows up. ( By the way, if it can be proven that your brother owes but hasn't paid child support, then the state can and will come after him legally, and he could have his pay garnished or go to jail for non payment, depending on what state you are living in. Most states have laws on the books nowadays that make failure to pay child support a crime. A word to the wise.) Good luck, and I hope your niece's mother wins !!!

Answer 2

Your family you have the right to say whatever you want as long as its the truth. I would make your point and tell the court how much of a good mother she is, and how your brother is not a good father. Most likely they will not give him full custody. And with him being 20 and his new gf being 40 the court is going to take it as a joke, especially since they have just started to date.

Answer 3

If you are summoned into court, you must tell the truth to the best of your ability or face the charge of perjury or contempt of court. I would think you would testify on the mother's behalf willingly because it's obvious this older lover your brother has found is harassing the mother for no good reason. Would he have come up with the idea of a custody fight on his own? I think the mother should countersue for emotional distress and financial difficulty. Please stand up for her, and this darling baby that has become a point of contention. Good luck

Answer 4

From what I remember from Goddess: The secret Lives of Marilyn Monroe. she used enenemas because of constipation from the drugs she was taking. Even Lawford saying she got her enenema. A Big one, but would nto elaborate on ewhat that meant. Especially phone records or recordings from that night were removed. Tissue samples were missing and the red diary was taken from the file cabinet. I've heard stories about the Kennedys or the mafia doing her in. I think it was a little of both. She was killed by the mafia by mistake (given too big a dose). The coverup was probably done later by the Kennedy brothers. (but we will never really know the truth. I heard a story about the district attorney being replacew when he wanted to open the case. twenty years after her death. We probably won't know the truth until all the major players are dead.

Answer 5

My dad sounds a lot like your brother. I am telling you from the child's point of view that it would be much better for you to get the dad out of the child's life, before he comes and goes as he pleases. It hurts and it honestly causes so much for the child and the mother when the child gets older and creates her own opinion.

Good luck, and I hope you choose to do the right thing :)

Answer 6

You must be a really nice caring person, you need to feel right where you are going,your brother needs to Grow up and his girlf well shes more like his mother type they are both suited for each other you have to do whats right for the baby no matter what.the babies mum is just young as long as shes loving with her baby well that's the right place for her to be, hope this helps.

Answer 7

Don't sweat it no judge will give him custody of that child. And if he really wants to change and be a part of the childs life let him, rarely is better than never.

Answer 8

I know you love your brother...but you're doing the right thing by sticking up for your niece. She's just an innocent little thing...and needs to be protected.

Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 9

You have to what is right for the child. If he is a deadbeat dad I wouldn't worry about him getting custody.You are doing thew right thing by taking the child's side.

Answer 10

just because he's your brother doesn't mean anything. that baby needs a good father figure--your brother isn't one. go ahead and testify.