What do you think about a 15 yr. old girl dating a 20 yr. old?

Question

My daughter is 15 and has been friends with this guy who is 20. He's been around for a while and the family loves him but I think she's too young but I am having mixed feelings about it. He's very repectful and he developed feeling for her when she told him she was 17. She told me he was 17. She got in major trouble but now how do I break them up? She'll hate me forever.

Answer 1

I hate to say this, but you're right that she'll resent you for a long time. You might want to consider letting them keep the relationship going, but that's going to mean VERY strict supervision on your part. They have lied to you before and they won't hesitate to do it again.
She'll resent the spying, but tell her that she has broken your trust, and that being supervised this closely is the only way you are going to allow her relationship to go on.

I only suggest letting them date because at 15, she will probably get tired of him soon. No one knows what they want at that age. It's up to you though. If you think the benefits (her happiness) outweigh the risks (possible pregnancy or worse), then go for it. But be careful. She's still a child.

Good luck.

Answer 2

I went two years ago when i was 21 it was amazing got to meet asking alexandria, woe is me, and we came as Romans.. First thing is that no matter what you do your going to sweat to death so if you plan on wearing makeup make sure it's a good brand I had on all Mac makeup and it stayed for most of the day. And don't worry about your hair just put it up almost every single girl looks like a mess lol. Wear sneakers cause you might get stepped on especially if you like to go in the pit or by the guard rail. Bring plenty of money cause your going to want to buy a lot of water and surprisingly because you sweat you don't even have to pee. I drank like ten bottles of water throughout the whole day and I peed once lol. Get the schedule the second you walk in and discuss with your friend which bands you want to see and make sure you know what stage there at and then plan your day put the bands in order according to the time there playing. If you want to meet bands just find there merch table once you get there and they'll have a sign saying there meet and greet time. If you don't see a sign just ask the person at the table if there having a meet and greet. Remember that the meet and greets only give out tickets to the first 100 people on the line so if it's a band you really are dying to meet make sure you get there early enough. For the asking Alexandria signing it was at 4 and I got there at 320 and I was number 77 so just remember to get there at least 40 min before. Make sure you figure out were the bathroom is so you can go quickly in between sets. It is crazyyy but it was an insane experience. And if you want to bring any party favors like a little pot or whatever else it's no problem me any my friends smoked in the middle of the crowd no one gives a ****. Have fun!!!

Answer 3

It's illegal first of all, and your daughter will most likely be sexually presented with things that a 15 year old isn't old enough to deal with. It may not seem like a large difference, but when its 15 and 20, it is a large difference in not only chronoligical age, but emotional and mental age. I think that you can't force them to break up because it will only make your daughter resent you. You should give her and him a chance and maybe invite him over so that you get a sense of their behavior and their relationship while they are supervised. If you notice it is growing much to close, you shoud have a talk with the man, and figure out why it is your young daughter that he is preying on and not someone who is grown. Or maybe just have the talk now before its too late.

Answer 4

I was in a simular situation.My sister...She was 17 and her boyfriend was 27. Dad told them to break up and she ran away,moved in with him,and married him a year later.They have been married for 10 years now. But I do know that marrying so young she didn't have a chance to finish being a kid.
Another...my step(was 15) daughter had a boyfirend who was 17. Not to far off in age. But he was no good at all for her. I told her to break up with him. And she snuck around for a year behind our backs to be with him. Every time she went to stay the night at a friends she snuck out there to be with this boy. They finally broke up on their own.
So I would not just ask or tell them. Ask and she'll do it behind your back.Tell her and she may run away. Make her...She is ONLY 15 and still in school. He was 15,16,17,18,19, and now 20. She is only your little girl for so long and it is your job to protect her.If you allow her to date him she will be 20 tommarrow in a 15 year old body. Yes threaten him with Stagitory rape and let his family know your intentions. Let her get mad at you but she will get over it.Someday when she is ready for an adult relationship she will be thankful you did it.

Answer 5

I once dated a guy that was 21 when I was 16. He was well liked by my family and was very respectful and treated me well. My parents did not like it at first, they wouldn't let us go out on our own, we had to be with a group of people and I couldn't go to his house, he had to come to my house where there was supervison. I dated him for about 4 months and we broke up because we were better as friends than in a relationship. Maybe you don't have to break them up just make sure the relationship is respectful and well supervised. When teens are young nothing ever lasts to long, so I wouldn't worry too much about this becoming a long term thing.

Answer 6

OK....I confess I did something similar when I was a teen. I was 15 and lied to a 21 years old guy and told her I was 17 (mmm...know that i think about it, very similar to your case). I did look older so he did believe me. It's a bit different because it didn't last. But you do have to know that they probably have sex. I didn't back then, but in a few years things have change quite a lot in sexual matters, at least in Europe. Also, it's different because he was English and I'm from a Catholic country, and although I don't believe in God, education and morals are part of the education and I just knew I wasn' t ready. But he did try. And if it had last longer or well, if my older cousin hadn't interrupt, I very well would have done it. Hormones and stuff, you can't stop them. But I do have to thank my mum, because I've always been able to talk to her about these things and get real advice from her. So just make sure she knows how to protect herself, because her heart you can't protect

Answer 7

This is a MAN going out, having sex, whatever they do together, with a CHILD. I cant believe you are asking this question.

You need to break them up and tell him to go find someone his own age. To me that is a child molester. And you as parent should know that. Who cares if your daughter will hate you. You are the parent and you have every right to do what you feel would be in her best interest and sleeping with a 20 year old is not in her best interest.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Let me tell you something: Us; as human beings, LOVE the forbidden... So, i f you TRY to break them up, consecuence will be that she'll break your rules in a blink of an eye, think about it.

I would suggest to keep them close to you, because that is a way you can keep an eye better on what they do,; instead of becoming an enemy of this relationship.

Second suggestion: DON T BE RADICAL, it s proven that being radical only wakes up all the madness and bad behavior in teenagers (and not teenagers as well).

You have to be very intelligent, if you don t wanna lose your daughter s trust. Create a strategy, in this cases; most of parrents lose the fight. Be strong, be patient, observe carefully, offer all help possible to your daughter, let her nknow that this might be not the best of choices, but still, offer her your love and caress as a parent. teens aren't stupid, they feel more afraid of consecuences of their acts when their parens show trust on them, tahn when parents show just the opposite.

in resume: dedicate her time.

Good luck.

Answer 9

I think that it wrong because when I was 15 I dated a 20 year old. To me they are after one thing and thats sex and also they know their way around the block if you understnd what I am saying. I think a 20 old man need to be with women his on age because a 15 old girl is still a child and can be easy talked in to doing stuff thats not right.

Answer 10

ok Im 15 ' ' that close to 16and i think you should reconcider breaking them up it depends how well you know your daughter and this guy because some girls just arnt as innocent as they seem but also some girls would never risk things like sex at there age. But if you think she might get her own self in to trouble then break them up! Because some day she will thank you even though for the time being she may hate you. One of my best friends fell for a guy who was 19 when she was 14 and she had sex with him blahbalh but he never really did love her he dosent talk to her anymore and she go's to other guys seeking there love and she is just a mess!

Answer 11

I would have flipped so I would like to say cudo's for keeping your cool. Now I would never let my daughter date a twenty yr. when shes fifteen. If she was eighteen and he was twenty three that's different. If he is as good of a guy as he says he is he will respect your wishes if you set both of them down and tell them how you feel and how things are gonna go. Your daughter owes this to you especially for lying to you. They can wait I'm sure if they truly have feelings for each other. Until then he's gonna need to back off for respect of your feelings and the law! Good Luck!