I am looking for a treatment of emotional crying for my wife?

Question

My wife lost her mom at a early age and had lot of problems with her upbringing. she is too emotional about every thing. simple things from food to cloths she has a strong ego about it. she starts crying the second she is in pressure . which has not only effected me but also her work. not she is expecting a baby and i am really worried for her.
she believe that she a very strong mentally but she is not. Giving any advice to her is like making a kid eat medicine very very difficult.
I have lived with this for last 4 years and feel like a caretaker then husband.
I have tried making her enviroment more comfortable. tried st john worth I believe worked but felt like a days job make her take it.
Please suggest me what you think i can do

Answer 1

Because your wife was depressed before getting pregnant, I would strongly suggest you get her into counseling immediately. Pick a licensed social worker or licensed psychologist who specialize in depression. She probably would be diagnosed with PTSD (post trauma stress disorder) which includes depression because of the death of her Mother. I would bet that she has always had the problem and the pregnancy has increased her hormones, thus emotions, and the idea of her Mother not helping her with and enjoying the birth of her baby adds to the depression.

It is best that an outside source, that is a licensed mental health professional, provide any counseling or advise. That takes the emotional component out and the person has an unbiased view of the past and present.

You have to be very careful giving even OTC to a pregnant woman. That includes St. John's wart because it could adversely affect the fetus, i.e., damage. I would not recommend it to any of my family.

Most insurance will cover "counseling" but if you don't, then contact the State Division of Mental Health/Hygiene for your closest mental health center, which usually charges on an ability-to-pay sliding-fee-scale.

AND once the baby is born she will definitely need to continue with the counseling. At that point the social worker or psychologist may refer her to a psyciatrist for medication to help balance her hormones and deduce the depression. Yes, she could take an antidepressant medication while pregnancy but not without her GYM and a psychiatrist working in coordination for the health of the fetus.

Answer 2

Medicine when pregnant is really not an option. So therapy is going to be the way to go. Find a woman therapist . As you are experiencing things get wacky! when pregnant. And that is totally normal!! Relationships go through a lot during this time. People don't tell because no one would have a baby!!
It sounds like you are at wits end at this point, 4 years in. You need to call the doctor that is following the pregnancy and explain the situation. Make sure you get one or two referrals for a therapist and make the appointment. You are going to have to make this happen.

Answer 3

She HAS to want to take the steps to get mentally healthy and have happiness in her life.
I realize that as her husband you feel it is your responsibility to find the solution here; the truth is, it is NOT. You can be loving and supportive as much as possible, but you cannot "fix" this for her.
Don't "advise" her...explain to her that her health and happiness are so very important to you, your marriage, and now (if I understand you correctly that she is pregnant) your family. If this has only just started to become a problem, it is important for you to remember that pregnancy can cause a woman to be extremely emotional! You cannot discard this fact and think she's just being a big baby, so to speak.
If it's an ongoing thing that has nothing to do w/her pregnancy (or exacerbated by it), don't give her an ultimatum, but do tell her she needs to get help/counseling as soon as possible if she expects your relationship to have any lasting strength. And for her to be of any good to her child.
Good luck and take care.

Answer 4

Have you guys ever had her evaluated for depression? A combination of counseling and treatment for depression (if it is diagnosed) may be appropriate. I am suggesting the counseling because of the problems with her upbringing. Because she is pregnant now and will have to deal with hormones, you are right about the mood swings. You could set aside time to talk and let her know about your concerns and the effects on the baby. Be loving and supportive, but let her know how serious your concerns are and be firm about seeking a resolution. You guys could even go to her next prenatal appointment together and speak to her doctor about the issue. I wish you both (and the baby) well.

Answer 5

It sounds very much as though you haven't been successful telling her to get over it and get strong and now you want someone else to succeed by telling her the same thing. Hasn't worked for you and won't work in the future. YOU can't do a damn thing to solve her problems. Only she can do that. So, butt out. That doesn't mean you must accept the situation--far from it. She must be responsible for her mental condition. My thought would be that you are enabling her much as one would enable an alcoholic--you cover for her, urge her to do what she needs to do etc. If she can't function, make her responsible for the bad things that happen. You may have to get to the point that you tell her to move out or you move out if you can't deal with it. Let her know you'll help her get help but she's got to decide to do it. I suggest a therapist or counselor in the mental health field.

Answer 6

Don't ask anyone on this site for advice of this kind. It is too difficult and requires a professional in the field of mental health. Next time you visit your GP or your wife's obstetrician ask about her behavior. Do they think she is a candidate for emotional problems upon the birth of her child? What do they recommend?

Answer 7

Well, It's time, in my opinon, for your wife to get away from the addiction of "crying". It's a pity party, and she either meets the skeletons in her closet, or just moves forward with her life, and enjoys all of the wonders of it. To share her emotions with her family is dragging them down, down, into the spiral with her.
This sounds Hormonal to me. How much, is too much. You are the one who knows.She has you pegged, and is pushing your buttons, and at the same time, since this is working, it is her only outlet. She should love the baby she is carrying, and work at focusing on the positive things in her life. We all should.
I could whine all day. I was up all night with my client, who has Alzheimers. She wet her bed even though she wore Adult Briefs. I changed her bedding, went to the laundry in the garage, three flights down, near my room. Finally fell asleep after listening to old time radio.
Next time I heard her stirring, (monitor in my room), I went up, and she was pulling all of her bedding off, and two pair of wet briefs, hiding them in the closet with the door closed. She was also dragging the blankets around on the floor.
Now, I can choose to focus on how tired I am, or jump up, and enjoy the beautiful day, and have a nice breakfast, and make the best of my day. At least I am not dodging bombs. I have a super comfortable bed, up on two foot poles, and fall out occasionally, but also, I find it amusing, as nothing is ever broken.
You don't want your wife on meds. with pregnancy. I'm sure my son should be whacked out, as I was in Amsterdam Holland smoking joints at a bar which was legal, when I found out I was pregnant. My son tells his friends that my amniotic fluid was "weed juice". hehe
Just love your family, and if they are whacked out, find an outlet for yourself, like focusing on exercise, and a feel good way to live. I bailed on two guys named Richard. They were both *****. But the love of my life is my sons father, and we are soulmates, but not lifemates. My daughter is married to a lifemate, but not soulmate. What a strange world....Stop trying so hard. Breathe...Smile...enjoy....

Answer 8

Get her in therapy right away and as soon as she has the baby she should go on anti- depressants. This has got to be terrible for her but the meds and therapy will help. The crying is from depression. Please don't give up on her and try to understand.