my military boyfriend is jackass or..?

Question

my boyfriend of 3 years just got back from boot camp on may 4th. we spent about 2 weeks basically living on top of eachother which was nice but at the same time a little too much. then he went away to report to his unit for the weekend and came back a different person. he didnt call at all when he was away and for a day after he came back he didnt call either. finally he called last tuesday said he was in boston (we live in southern nh, and hused to live in boston) and swore that he would call me the next day. he didnt call until friday and i asked him when i'd see him again and he got mad so i said that i was going to a party that night and busy. i left my phone on vibrate and didnt answer all night because i wanted him to know how it felt to not answer the phone and sure enough he called 6 times that night and 3 the next morning, when i called him back on saturday he was very suspcious and seemed pissed off.

the next time i heard from him was monday and he didnt say much. then on wednesday i finally called him myself and shockingly he actually called me back and asked me to meet him at the train station we spent about 4 hours together and we slept together and he told me about his new job with the military in boston and how he was going away for the weekend again but this time as part of his job. he told me that he wanted to be with me but that he has this job now that he likes so that we'll be together but he'll just come up whenever he can. so i left that night feeling a little more secure. then he calls and says he left something in my car that he needed for the weekend and that hed pick it up yesterday after 5. so i call him about 6 and leave a voicmail just to ask if hes coming to get it.and he doesnt even call me back. hes leaving for a iraq in about a month so i'm not sure if hes distancing himself or what or if hes just a prick. i try to be understanding but i feel so disrespected

even when he wasnt working and was with his friends or doing god knows what he didnt answer the phone. i would never expect him to call me when he was at work

Answer 1

they came back the same person just with a new outlook on life. You have to remember Boy you had been with Grew up Fast and has had training the average person couldn't deal with.
He was in a situation where he was told how to do everything from when to use the bathroom- to eat in under 5 minutes. He doesn't need you telling him what to do now.
Until you join the military you will never know what he has gone through.

Answer 2

I would say, it's the miliatary who has turned him like this, BUT! you 2 have been together for 3 years, so he should know better...but I tell ya, my husband, when he first entered the marines, (we weren't together, just seeing each other on and off), he would disappear for days, weeks, I really didn't expect calls, as we weren't together, but, when we would speak, he was off training in the fields, which they can't have cell phones when out there...and they are taught to be very strong emotionally and mentally, alot takes place in bootcamp...they really do get converted into new men, some good, some bad...I married my husband after his first trip to Iraq, he did a complete 360, emotionall and all, we dated after his return and soon married...I say ask your boyfriend what is up, and why he disappears, and try to stick next to him for the whole Iraq thing, sometimes, an experience like that, makes them look at the world from another point of view, a better one, or a bitter one...you need to suuport and him a bit more...with the marines, comes alot of hardships GUARANTEED! and if you can get through them, you can't get through anything together.

Answer 3

Wow... was all of that one sentence? I'm not entirely sure what you were trying to get across... are you asking whether he's a jackass for not answering the phone every time you call? If he's at work, they don't exactly like it when new soldiers answer their phones in formation. Are you asking whether he's a jackass for being stressed or depressed because he's about to be deployed to Iraq? Wouldn't YOU be? Granted, I know absolutely nothing about this guy; whether he's a decent honest guy who's unsure of the future and what will happen to him during his deployment, or whether he's just some punk kid who hasn't grown past being a teenager and is still firmly in the immature "drinking-and-partying every weekend stage" yet (plenty of younger soldiers refuse to grow past that stage). You'd know him better than I, and would be better able to answer that question and make that assessment for yourself; however, if he IS a decent guy and is just stressed about his upcoming deployment, the LAST thing he needs is to be embroiled in a soap opera before he's sent there. You've no idea what kind of stress deployed soldiers go through and the impact it has on their psyches and on their emotions. Some come back better for it, some come back the same, some come back scarred for life--and some don't come back at all. That uncertainty alone is probably one of many things running through his mind. Either you show him some support (if he's the decent guy, that is) or re-evaluate your reasons for being with him and whether you actually want to stand with him during this upcoming time in his life--which will without a doubt be the most difficult and challenging thing he's ever faced.

Answer 4

honey, i had the same boyfriend! he was also in the army, we dated for 2 years, he went to bootcamp and came back a jackass, and only wanted me after that when he was lonely, your right he IS distancing himself from you, he's trying to make it easier but he doesn't know how hard he's making it for you, please get rid of him, i wish somebody would have knocked some sense into, we did break up 3 weeks after he came back from boot camp, he got stationed, got lonely and wanted me back, i said no, i had to stand up for myself, don't ever let anybody treat you like that, live your life and have fun, don't waste anymore time on him, it will be extremely hard but its the best thing, if i didn't break up with him i wouldn't have met my now husband, good luck!

Answer 5

Aye im thinkin that he just wants you for sex.. and when he's going to be able to be with you all of a sudden he calls to get on your good side... when he knows he gunna be away he doesn't.

Get yourself a man that in the civil sector and will treat you with resepect and not an object.

Answer 6

Move on honey, he's an arrogant SOB...so he's headed for Iraq...so are thousands of others. if you like the mental abuse stick around, he'll be happy to dish out more. The military didn't make him this way...he was this way before he joined. You obviously make a willing participant..no one can disrespect you without your permission....grow up and do better for yourself.

Answer 7

Just because he didn't call you..........don't play mind games with him and not answer your phone. That will just make him more mad at you and also very suspicious. Sounds like he is reserve or national guard? He shouldn't have changed that much.

Answer 8

I don't know about him but I would stay as far away from a game player like you as I possibly could.

You sound like a drama queen to me. I hate soap opera type women.

.

Answer 9

i was the same way when i was getting deployed.i wanted to distance myself,its not that he dont love you but that he dont wanna hurt you if something was to happen to him.im 100% postive he will come around

Answer 10

Sounds like you're both playing games.