my mom is in home care hospice ta home with me thee are nurses here 24-7 she may go at any time now - my question is this -
should i stay in the same building and get a 1 bd room when she does pass -- this is a not very nice section 8 building in a downtown area - it would be hard to budget it out every month but it could be done - i am on disability for severe migraines and only get 600 a month rent would be 150 or a tiny bit less -
i have a sister and father who also live in the same building
they are both very screwed up he is 78 is a manic depressive that doesnt take any meds for it and is also a compulsive gambler she is 47 and is a very bad drug addict that uses about 100 dollars worth of drugs every day with her one friend that buys it all
i have no real great prospects here but at least i would have my own place and not be at any ones mercy and under their rules and their roof i am 32 and single no children never married
the other choice is to go and live with
2007-06-01 04:13:21 · 6 answers · asked by Medusa 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my mosm friend who sounds like a control freak and is very tight she wants me to help take care of her grand daughter and then ride a bike every where is very wealthy but doesnt want to help me get a cheap used car or anything at all and i mean anything at all .. she sounds like a night mare should i go live with her in order to get out of here downtown - or just stay put ? she lives 2 hours away and if i go and stay with her i probably would just be stuck there - i am afraid of that very much so -
i am afraid of being at her mercy please help me and thank you
2007-06-01 04:15:52 · update #1
thank you all so much i really value your input - it has helped me to clear my thoughts and to think more clearly
i think i will stay here and get a smaller apt in the same building i am now in
2007-06-01 08:12:37 · update #2
I'd stay put and get a smaller apartment if you can. Your mom's friend sounds like she is looking for someone to rescue her from having to take care of her grandaughteron the cheap. You wouldn't be happy.Good Luck!
2007-06-01 04:59:23 · answer #1 · answered by M S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel you can manage by yourself, then I would suggest you to move. Having peace of mind in your own place without all the distractions is priceless. As for Section 8, there should be a list of available apartments for rent. You definitely need your own transportation, but if you can find something on a bus line that would also be beneficial. Do you have a good friend or family you can trust to help you in this time of need to help you search? Take your time when finding an apartment, because there is so much crap out there, you should do a drive by during the day and night to check out activity in the neighborhood, if you know what I mean. Good luck to you.
2007-06-01 11:44:49 · answer #2 · answered by marcelene14 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not at this woman's mercy. And you shouldn't be looking after children while you're managing a chronic illness- migraines.
When your mother passes on, move to your own place - even if it's just an efficiency apartment - move to your own place.
That way you will have a door to close and lock when your very ill relatives come begging. When they do come begging- tell them no. Period. No arguing. Then lock and bolt the door and report their harassment to the landlord and illegal activities to the police.
Keep up your medication routine, meet with your own social workers regularly - so they can monitor your health and well being. Keep a diary about your feelings. Stress can bring out depression and migraines etc. and a diary can help your neurologist better refine your treatment.
But get your own place - and don't have any regrets.
2007-06-01 11:25:01 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get to a section eight location away from all of them, talk to your social worker and ask her now for some help. If you can't get it there speak to a religious charity and see if they know of someone who can help you. Staying in such a bad emotional location would make your headaches worse and moving in with a control freak would have an equally bad effect on you. My granddaughter gets the same horrible migraines, leaving her disabled for days at a time, she trys to keep up on the new discoveries they are making every month, keep asking your doctors and maybe they will have new therapies available for you.
2007-06-01 11:24:42 · answer #4 · answered by justa 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are going through a really tough situation here. So sorry to hear about your mom. I think you should get your own place after your mom passes. There is just too much going on right now to get your own place right away. Just stay at one of these other people's houses temporarily. Don't spend too much time with these people who will drag you down. Try to spend time with your mom and with friends as much as possible. Good luck to you, and hang in there. You're not alone.
2007-06-01 12:18:47 · answer #5 · answered by Christine 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like all your options are not good one's. Maybe try finding a room mate and move to a nicer part of town and take care of yourself.
I'm very sorry to hear about your mom.
2007-06-01 11:25:28 · answer #6 · answered by Luv2RIDE 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋