Yesterday, I saw a text message on my boyfriend's phone from some girl who kept asking if he would take her to the movies. She was calling him "sweetie" and telling him things like, "Don't forget about us."Then, another text message said, "I had a great time at the movies...etc." She also sent him another text message saying, 'I'm glad you are happy with your girlfriend.." When I asked him about who the girl was, he told me that she was a friend from school.
This would not have been a huge deal to me if he would have told me he took her to the movies, but he tried to keep it a secret, and that's what's bothering me the most. I don't think he is cheating...BUT I'm keeping an open mind...and the secrecy is not my ideal relationship. We have an "appointment" to talk about this today...but just trying to get some good advice, and see what you all think about this.
Thanks for your insight!
2007-06-01 04:03:23 · 21 answers · asked by Chanel 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It doesn't necessarily sound like he was "keeping this from you", per se. I don't know if he typically checks in with you about what he is doing when he's not with you, but if he does, that might be something different. At first, it sounded a bit suspicious, but when you said that there was a text that said "I'm glad you are happy with your girlfriend", that says to me that they are friends that hang out and he's not keeping it a secret that he's got a girl and it sounds like he even talks about your relationship. I'm not saying I'm guaranteeing what is going on here, but that's what it sounds like to me. What makes it seem like he's hiding the whole thing? Do you know every time that he goes out to do things?
Ok, this is an addition, here, but I read the above and apparently I'm really the only one I saw with my opinion. Still, I think that last text I mentioned made me think otherwise... I'm almost doubting what I said, but you guys need to talk things out and see if the whole thing was really a "secret" at all. If there wasn't much of a secret about it, then going out with friends, be they guy or girl, isn't any kind of betrayal to your boy/girlfriend.
2007-06-01 04:08:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship is done. Yeah, you could work to save it, but anytime you have a boyfriend secretly meeting girls for movie dates, and a girlfriend who looks through his private text messages there are huge trust issues and it's going to be hard to get past that. More than likely the issues are a result of the relatioship already deteriorating too far.
2007-06-01 04:09:38 · answer #2 · answered by Nick C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The combination of girl who calls him "sweetie" and a guy who is "male" sounds risky to me. It appears you both do not have a close enough relationship that he feels free to take another girl to the movies. How would he feel if you went with another fella without telling him? He sounds to be a bit inconsiderate to me. Me and my boyfriend have a standard rule, no dates with the opposite sex even if they are only a friend. Seems to me your boyfriend could have easily invited you to come along and had her bring a date. I am curious to see what his excuse for not doing so will be.
2007-06-01 05:49:34 · answer #3 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i feel if he has not cheated..he is tempted by this girl. if he is spending time with her without your knowledge..a big no no in a relationship. there is a reason he didnt tell you..and i can bet he might say something like, "because I knew you wouldnt like it, and we are just friends." uh huh..how would he feel if you went somewhere with a "friend boy" and with held it from him?? some people cant put themselves in others position. calling each other little pet names is wrong also..he is not her "sweetie" he is supposedly yours. you have every right to feel upset by this. set your boundaries now. I honestly dont feel opposite sex can be "just friends" outside of work and school..it will always lead to something more. you can be acquaintances..but not friends who spend time together. good luck!!
2007-06-01 04:13:16 · answer #4 · answered by wartytoadjody39 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Years ago, I had a similar situation, only I found out ahead of time. I confronted him, and he went anyway. I dropped him like a hot potato and never looked back. He became a loser, and I married a fabulous man who has given me a great life. Life has a way of compensating you for these kinds of hurts. Don't let anybody walk all over you. Have a great life!
2007-06-01 04:15:48 · answer #5 · answered by Terri J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It cud be that his frnd is his ex and they really must b only good frnds now. He also might hv thought dat by telling u this fact, u wudnt trust him and u wud think he is two timing u. Think positively and discuss with ur bf dat honesty, trust and understanding are the ingredients to a long lasting relationship.
2007-06-01 04:09:18 · answer #6 · answered by sash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think he shouldn't have kept that from you but if you feel they are being honest just friends then he should introduce her to you and let yall chill that way you can lay down your relationship rules with both of them and start having her call yall's house phone rather than his cell
2007-06-01 04:28:20 · answer #7 · answered by REPIN DA 804 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Return the favor by asking one of your male friends out to a movie and see how he responds.
What's good for one is good for the other, wouldn't you say?
2007-06-01 04:07:42 · answer #8 · answered by james 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok when you talk just stay calm, getting angry makes its worse and ask him what would he feel if you did the same thing to him "taking a friend to the movies" ( it usually works) if he doesn't react the ask him directly if he's cheating
2007-06-01 04:12:16 · answer #9 · answered by frusques 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes ,he should have told you.But for now just forget about it,if he is not serious about her and dont make a very big issue about it.
2007-06-01 04:08:50 · answer #10 · answered by ANU U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋