One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said,
"WHAT??!!
What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying,
"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to
play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
"No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"
I then said,
"Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
Your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** Knows I'm smarter than her
2007-06-01 03:17:48 · 41 answers · asked by Jazzy, I Miss U Love! 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Na, I didn't do it, it is a joke. I wish I could think of something like this.
2007-06-01 03:28:13 · update #1
ahahah, nice answer
2007-06-01 03:21:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the person. Not all 8's, 9's, and 10's are completely shallow, and there are some 7's and below who totally are. Women don't have any idea what they want, from my experience.
2016-03-13 03:57:44 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good story.....but you obviously didn't understand what she meant by what she said. How satisfying is it when you get your woman all worked up to have sex, yet you forget about foreplay or you're the only one getting foreplay. Do you think its satisfying for a woman to satisfy a man, if she herself has not been or won't be satisfied? No its not. Guys now in days forget that women need to be satisfied too. Foreplay seems almost nonexistant. If you can't make her orgasm, then its not satisfying. So you should think about that. If you at least tried to make her 0rgasm, then sex would be really great on your end. Because she will WANT to satisfy rather then lay there all bored and unsatisfied.
2007-06-01 03:34:10 · answer #3 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is not funny at all. I would have killed you to have embarassed me like that. How on earth do you take someone out for shopping when yu knew that you had no money or were intending not to buy.
The anger that i am feeling right now makes me not to continue.
Tell me why did she deny you sex? May be you are too demanding and you want it every night so she can not give it to you evry night. Try bonding with her emotionally.
2007-06-01 03:26:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Funny, seen it before...
Nice add in on the last line...(..but at least...") Certain you'll score big points with the ladies on that one...
Could've left it as is and would have been funny to see the comments but that last add in at the end set it up for a bonfire.
2007-06-01 03:24:57 · answer #5 · answered by avengress 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fabulous, Darling Fabulous!
2007-06-01 03:22:44 · answer #6 · answered by New Nana 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know what? that really was a really good one and i laughed out loud it played out like a really good joke! here is the sad part though, what god gave us as women must be a whole helluva lot more powerful then what he gave men because we can rule the universe with it, its like having liquid gold down their. my prediction is although i do feel sorry for you, you will not be having sex for a very long time~
2007-06-01 03:25:26 · answer #7 · answered by pa625 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because a woman has to be in control and not used like a piece of meat until she gets what she wants presents or money .
Don't you know nuffin !!!!
Stay home and masturbate its more fun!!!! you don't get a disease
And you don't get a 25 year mortgage and alimony to pay
2007-06-01 03:23:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I almost got to the punchline before I recognized this joke.
Wish I could remember where I first heard it.
2007-06-01 09:09:38 · answer #9 · answered by no_frills 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is that a real story??? OMG!!! That is awesome. As a woman, I am thinking this chick is a gold digger and she is going to rip you off. Wow, you totally got her.
2007-06-01 03:23:35 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I needed to try that about 7 years ago
2007-06-01 03:23:03 · answer #11 · answered by mrjts 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋