Me & my ex-husband split up 5 months ago. I was with him from the time I was 15, and he was the only man I'd ever slept with. Now that I'm 'free', I feel like I might be going a little overboard playing catch-up. I ended up sleeping with 2 different guys already, both with the intention that it wasn't just casual sex, it was a friendship that coudl turn into a relationship, but neither of them turned out to be what I really wanted in a guy. I slept w/ the 2nd guy just 1 week ago, and there's already another guy that I was kissin and cuddling with last night, and I'm sure it will move into more. Am I going overboard or is it normal to do this, especially when I am so young (20 yrs old) and just divorced? I am on birth control, and will NEVER have sex without a condom, or with random people. These guys are all friends that I've known for months. Any advice would be helpful, thanks!!!
2007-06-01 02:52:47 · 25 answers · asked by Chiquita 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sabes que Chiquita, first of all, I applaud you for having safe sex (there is to many STD's out there). I don't mean to insult you or anything, but instead of sleeping with these guy's right away, get to know them alot better first. Learn all there likes, dislikes and everything else. Study their qualities, and then ask your self is this the kinda guy I am looking for? Cause sleeping with diffrent guys, no one will take you serious and just consider you a "Booty Call". Be careful and always remain safe, Good Luck.
2007-06-01 05:16:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well 1 don't feel like u r a sl u t! 2 this is normal to act like this but my advice would be to simply control the men u slept with or better yet the number, and try to sometimes to fight the urge because that will be good in the end for you when you might have to give all the names of the men u slept with and when u tell then maybe will not come off as badly as would a sluth so just take ur time and relax don't sweat it because if u think u r a s l u t then others will too and i no u don't want that.
2007-06-01 03:00:55 · answer #2 · answered by nelle boo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is normal post divorce to sew some wild oats. I did it. But it is wise to not sleep around. I got around that by just "making out" WITH A LOT OF GUYS. But I've been split up for almost 3 years now and I've only slept with 3 guys in that time. But I made out with good Lord who knows how many. Go have your fun and kiss strange boys but maybe keep the pants on a while longer. Good luck!
2007-06-01 03:00:37 · answer #3 · answered by CrazygirlDD 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no i don't think you are becoming a slut. hehe. you are just playing the field. don't you think it is funny that guys can do this sort of thing all the time and they don't think they are male sluts and society doesn't classify them as such. but man oh man, when a woman does something like this they classify her as a slut. why? because we still live in a male dominated society. even with women's rights we still are put in catagories by others. i am not trying to say that men are bad or that i am some feminist at all...i just know what u are saying. it is sad how even women will classify other women as sluts. don't you worry about what others think. but if this is how you are feeling maybe it is just your conscience talking to you. people sometimes forget that sex can be "just sex" but it is an expressive part of us as human beings and we do give a little bit of ourselves away when we engage in sex. my advice is: just becareful about why you are having sex with these guy friends. don't have sex just because u think it will lead to a relationship. especially if you just came out of a 5-year marriage. i was married too for the same amount of time and it takes time to get back on track with your life. dating again is always strange, and the sex part too. but don't go into it just to catch a guy. women have needs just as much as men, so having sex and i do mean the "just sex" is by keeping things that way....as friends. and if these guys are your friends and not really what u would want in a man for a relationship than thats ok. if they are your friends, believe me they understand what is going on. usually guys just fear u might want a commitment after sex. women tend to latch on to a guy after sex. so just don't be that girl. you need time to play the field. have fun. go out and be free. i am glad you are taking precautions too. safe sex is the best guarantee for a great time. I really didnt' start dating till after a year or more. i had a really great friend that i had sex with for 10 months before he moved away. i knew he was moving so we kept things strictly as friends with bennies, we had an understanding to keep it simple and no strings attached deal. and it was the best 10 months of healing i needed after being married to the worst man ever. so i speak from experience. go out and have fun. i really hope this helps. you sound like a smart girl.
2007-06-01 03:09:20 · answer #4 · answered by michelle b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we feel sooo bad... that we'll do anything for just a few moments of relief... and yes.. if these guys are from the same circle of friends... what your doing is prepping for your debut on Jerry springer... "I'm a divorcee whore" episode... I'm kidding of course...
Seriously... what you need is time to decompress... try and fill your time with other distractions... build some female friendships... and begin working on you... I have a sense that what you're doing with these fellas is substituting sex for a solid conversation... you run out of things to say... so you're just cozying up to them to avoid the awkward silences...
You are plenty young enough to begin your life... find out who you are... this is a chance to define yourself... by becoming something other than... "someone's wife". So step back look around... pick a direction... just remember sex...is not intimacy...and filling the void with sex... is just sooo much chinese food...
2007-06-01 03:04:21 · answer #5 · answered by alex b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do women feel like sluts when they have casual sex?!! After my divorce I did the same thing. I really think that we as women feel a need to know in ourselves that we are still desirable and wanted -- especially after a divorce. And no you weren't cheated, just unavailable for a time. Just have fun and be careful until you decide to settle down again. Just remember guys have flings all the time and we don't call them sluts and they don't feel that way but they look at us and call us those names. Just remember to be true to you.
2007-06-01 03:06:31 · answer #6 · answered by crt35 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are human and nobody I know can say a thing about being your judge. Don't bother trying to please the world or live up to somebody else's standards or whatever. If a guy does what you are doing nobody bats an eye; some even say "what a whatever" and yada. Go forth and do that which makes you happy and harms nobody. Reminds me of what a real estate salesman told me years ago, "Get a lot when you are young".
2007-06-01 03:00:56 · answer #7 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are a little confused after ending a long relation, take some time before looking for a new partner.
Be honest with yourself and with those guys and always use a condom!
2007-06-01 03:01:47 · answer #8 · answered by bayphoto3001 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know what you are feeling, and I must warn you that sex with old friends usually lead to a bad reputation.
You should be careful about sex as you say that you are, but you must try to avoid building up a reputation as an easy lay within your existing friend circle
2007-06-01 03:00:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
As a woman I say no things happen and the only person that has to answer to them is you. As for guys they may start to call you a slut and some jeoluse women but as long as you can live with it and you are being protected. I dont see a problem with it. It is your life.
2007-06-01 02:57:29 · answer #10 · answered by lyttledarlin 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋