okay, very tricky situation. my cousin and his girlfriend neglect their baby?

Question

She is only 8 months old, and since the age of 1 WEEK she has spent at least every second night away from them, with her grandparents. There is no reason for this, she has always been a very easy baby, it's just so they can drink. Since around 6 months they have stopped giving her formula, and give her non-fat milk and water in her bottles instead because it's cheaper. She never has regular diaper changes, and regularly goes 2 days without a bath. The thing is, her grandparents (although they love her), are no better, and my Aunt will hear no wrong against her son or his girlfriend. I try to care for her properly when l can, but l can't always be around (l have kids of my own). At eight months her diet consists of the milk/water, and fries! She is not sitting up properly yet, her hair is not growing well, she has no teeth,and is making no attempt to crawl. I know CPS won't intervene unless the neglect is really severe, but is it worth calling? ls there anything else l can do?

I also wanted to add that she constantly has a cold from being dragged around at night, and is always riding around in cars with different people without a carseat (since she was born!).

Answer 1

If I were you, the first thing I would do is get more info to be armed with if you call CPS. Talk to a peadiatrician or baby health nurse about your concerns with her physical development (it sounds to me that she is at least slightly delayed), and document who you spoke to, what time/date etc. Then make a list of your concerns about the child, and how these stack up against the parents actions. Once you are armed with this information, call CPS and give them everything you have, don't take no for an answer, PROVE to them that this child is being neglected. Clearly you don't want the baby just ripped away, but these people need to grow up and start being PARENTS! Especially emphasize the issue with the carseat, this is an immediate risk to the child, and is done knowingly. CPS can't tell the parents who reported them if you remain anonymous, or give a false name.......... just a thought.
Above all else, make it clear to whoever you call that you have your own children, and you know what you're talking about. As they say, knowledge is power, so do your research to do everything you can to help this little baby and keep that family together. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 2

I also had to deal with a family member who was just like this!
With her first 2 kids nobody did anything thinking it would just stop or she and her husband would change . Then kids number 3 and 4 entered this world and things got alot worse , Then kid number 5 came and that was the final straw , I called CPS and the kids were removed from the home and I know some people will say how could you tear up a family??
If them people would of seen what I saw they would understand! Now this person has 6 kids that all live with her and nothing has changed. Unfortunately this kind of thing happens all the time! Their really isn't a right or wrong answer to your question , Do what you think is right!!
To bad this person I'm talking about is my sister and she thinks she is the best mom in the world :(

Answer 3

That is absolutely horrifying. I agree with you that the poor kid is getting less than sterling care.

You could try reporting to Social Services - but like you say, they may not do much. They would investigate, though, and perhaps that might scare your cousin and his girlfriend into bucking their ideas up a bit?

All you can do, otherwise, is be there for the kid, do the best you can, and at the first sign of any worse neglect, report them again. Sometimes I wonder why people even bother having children if they can't be bothered to look after them.

P.S. I just noticed you said "diaper" instead of "nappy", so presumably you're in the USA and I don't know much about how your social services work, but here in the UK they would at least visit the child and assess the situation.

Answer 4

Good grief, you've had a couple of rude answerers. Okay, there's nothing wrong with your mother throwing your shower. It's not traditional, per se, but neither is having a baby shower thrown for your second, third, or fourth child (even IF they are two different genders and ten years apart), and people have been doing that more and more frequently for the past ten years. There's nothing tacky about it. If your mother volunteered to do it, and no one else has, don't feel bad about it. As far as the relatives are concerned, seriously, you should tell them what's bothering you, and tell them that you're done with them until they can act like, or even PRETEND like, they have some integrity. As far as the shower is concerned, don't invite them. If they want to be crabby about it later, well, that's all the better for getting them to go away. Congrats, and good luck with the baby.

Answer 5

Well, I know this sounds really mean, but here's what I'd do, it normally straitens people up real quick!

Call the health department and tell the the address of their property when the baby and it's parents are there. They will go check things out and iif it is not suitable for the child they will give 1 warning, and then the child will be removed from the home. If you care about the child that is the only way!

Answer 6

Call CPS anyway. If you can prove it, pictures, recording, grocery receipts, anything of that nature, it may help.

Her pediatrician should be able to tell that she is being malnourished and having difficulties due to the lack of a nurturing environment. If she is not being taken to the pediatrician as recommended they can look into that as well.

The best thing you can do for this girl is just call and call. Will you be willing to take responsibility for this child or no? That will make a big difference.

Answer 7

The only issue here is the safety and well-being of the child.
Yes its possible CPS will tell them who called but if you truly believe the child is being neglected and therefore endangered then you need to report it.
From the sounds of things her development is already being affected but its not too late for that to change.
By doing absolutely nothing you are also neglecting the needs of this child.
Good luck to you and good luck to this little one.

Answer 8

okay here is what is going to happen if you call cps . They will come out and investigate but cps will also tell them who called on them and then you are going to have your aunt up your butt and probably your mom and your cousin . so I would not be so quick to call just have your mom tell your aunt that if she does not do something for the childs current sittuation someone is going to call cps on them . this might be enough to straighten them out and try to get them help with diapers and formula . yes she is being neglected but I would be very carefull about calling cause this can turn ugly . ppl have been known to be injured over stuff like this . be carefull and hope everything turns out okay .

Answer 9

I hate to advise this. But you need to call child services. It is not ever a easy call. But if you know a child is in danger you have to report it. And if you don't and someone else does and they find out that you knew and didn't report. You will be in trouble and at risk of losing your own children. I have delt with children services getting a power of attorney of a child and i know what they will do and won't. So report it, you could save her life.

Answer 10

Absolutley report this to CPS, ASAP!!! The car seat thing, is a HUGE issue. The malnutrition is as well, although it may be harder to prove. Try to get others in your family to corroborate and gather evidence. It will make an easier case. Good for you for doing what you can for her, I can't imagine being in your place. And formula isn't all that expensive, they have no excuse!