Advise needed for my Ex-Jehovah Witness friend?

Question

I am a 17 yr old H.S. Student. I have a friend at school who was JW. I think I am his only friend at school. Because of this we had many talks. Because of those talks, he became a "Christian" several months ago. His parents doesnt know. He wants to attend my Church so he can follow the Bibles command in believers baptism. And so he can grow in the Lord. He doesnt want to go the Kingdom Hall anymore, because he doesnt believe it anymore. He knows his parents will not attend his baptism, and might even forbid him from doing that or going to Church. He knows that he could anyway, that they really couldnt stop him. But he wants to honor them like he is supposed to. But how can he follow and grow in the Lord if he doesnt? He simply cannot stand the idea of going to the Hall anymore. He would feel like a hypocrite. He asked me for help deciding what to do. I just "led" him to the Lord. This is kinda over my head. My Dad told me to ask the Christian Community on Y/A.

P.S. My dad is a regular on Y/A and I think he knows EVERYTHING about Christianity. But I think this is his way of helping me grow to. (He doesnt know I added this part. Yet. lol)

Answer 1

I was brought up from birth into a JW family but left that organisation in my mid-twenties. It wasn't easy. I had to leave the country, literally. When I became disillusioned (I was 19 years old) I still felt I had to "go along with it" because all my family were witnesses and I didn't have any friends outside of the congregation.

If your friend is 17 years old I doubt anyone could "force" him to go along to the meetings. Yes, pressure could be applied and his life could become very difficult, but no-one could physically make him attend. Whilst the Bible says we must respect our parents, that does not mean we have to follow them in worship if we know it to be wrong. In fact, I would go so far as to say it is critically important to stand up for our beliefs and not compromise them, even if that means going against what our parents wish.

I am not suggesting rebellion. That would be wrong. But your friend could respectfully talk to his parents and point out why he can no longer go along with their beliefs. He would need prayer support and help from say, yourself, to build up a case to present his arguments. By using the Bible, and calmly yet persistently sticking to scripture, he could give a powerful witness to his parents.

I've just thought about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, the three young Hebrews who were taken captive in Babylon. King Nebuchadnezzar demanded everyone bow down and worship him. When the three young men refused, they were thrown into the fiery furnace. You know how it ends, don't you? An angel of the Lord protected them and they emerged, unscathed. They obeyed the word of God above the word of the king.

I would strongly advise against your friend continuing to go to the Kingdom Hall. Now he realises the JW's do not have "the truth", he will do himself spiritual harm and possibly feel guilty and unhappy. I suffered for many years with bad dreams after I left them. The mental scarring was only healed after I became a Christian. I recommend he make a stand and politely, yet firmly, tell his parents he can no longer continue to follow their beliefs.

Your friend is in a very difficult position, but God always gives us a way out. Take it up in prayer, persist in prayer and wait in expectation that those prayers will be answered.

Answer 2

I am so pleased you asked former Jehovah's Witnesses to answer this question. Otherwise, how could you ever find out why they left? There are some interesting answers from your spiritual brothers and sisters - but not one of them has come up with the obvious. While I was a Jehovah's Witness, I also thought I had the true religion and there was no way I was ever going to leave it. That would be really stupid, wouldn't it, to leave what you believed to be true that gave you peace of mind. Neither did I leave because I was immoral or someone stumbled me or I simply didn't want to live up to the Bible's high standards. I wasn't mixing with worldly people, I didn't take up smoking or drinking. In fact, I was pioneering and I was married to a pioneer. So why did I leave? You need to understand that my parents became Witnesses in the 1930's, and that I knew nothing other than what Jehovah's Witnesses believed. We were all expecting the end of 6,000 years of man's existence to end in the fall of 1975 (I can provide the Watchtower quotations if you doubt me) and that meant Armageddon would come soon after. My parents believed they were the generation that would see the fulfilment of the end-time prophecies in Matthew 24 and that they would be alive when the Millennial reign of Christ started. None of us made any of this up. We all believed what the Society told us. Guess what? This prophecy was false - we're still waiting, 33 years later. This is the reason I left - false prophecies about dates and predictions when 6,000 years of human existence will end. Any peace of mind I had was shattered when I realised the extent to which I had been mislead. I am now a born-again Christian with a heavenly hope and I praise God that, through the Holy Spirit, he brought me to a place of repentance and forgiveness. Religion does not save. Only Jesus Christ can do that.

Answer 3

I used to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses.

There's nothing wrong with going to the Kingdom Hall. 2 Thessalonians 1:4 - "Therefore, among God's churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring."

If his parents tell him to go to the Kingdom Hall, then he should go. Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— "so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

Review scriptures like 1 Cor 5:1,2 and 11:17-22 and James 5:1-6. This shows how bad Christianity can get. It might answer some of his questions about how Jehovah's Witnesses can work, simply because that is the nature of Christianity when false believers creep into the congregation. 2 Peter 2 also shows what happens when those who are just escaping from error are confronted with people who promise freedom but are slaves of depravity. You can tell these people because they carouse or live luxuriously in the daylight.

Follow 2 Timothy 4:3-5. It's an excellent little piece of scripture.

Answer 4

#1. Tell him that we are all believers in the God of the Bible, YHWH.
#2. The Apostle would have us all unite under Christ, SO WE ARE ALL ON THE SAME SIDE...There should be no divisions. (Jehovah Witnesses should not call us Christendom and we should not make fun of them either.)
#3. We are all on our walk of faith. Some are just further along, be patient and do as you have been encouraging him to Christ and the Bible.
#4. The Gentiles in the book of ACTS did receive the Holy Spirit before baptism (See chapter 10 at the end) But do not misunderstand, BAPTISM IS PROPER! :^)
#5. PRAY pray pray, Pray without ceasing! Ask for the light of Christ! Pray for a miracle expect, ask and receive!
Praise the Lord and in all things give him thanks!

Answer 5

This is a tough decision for your friend. The 5th commandment does say we need to honor our parents. There is a fine line here. Honor means 2 things. First it means to obey. We do need to obey our parents, except for when it interfers with following God. God comes first before anyone including our family. The second means to respect. This means that even though you may be following a different path than your parents you still need to show respect to them. I have heard from others that when a person leaves the JW church that they will be shunned from the entire family. It's so sad because that is not Biblical. If your friend chooses to leave and this happens try to help him keep his courage up. Even though his family may do this to him he needs to pray to God to keep forgivenss in his heart and be open if and when his parents see that they were wrong. We are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God.

You didn't mention what church you belong to, but I would say the same for you. You need to study your Bible and make sure that the church you belong to is following it 100%. There is only one denomination that I know of that keeps all the Bible and all the commandments. If your church is a Sunday keeping church, watch out. Sunday worship is not Biblical. Saturday is the true Sabbath. And this is one of the tests for the human race for the last days. In Revelation God tells us his end time church will keep all the commandments and have the testimony of Jesus (which is the spirit of prophesy). Denominations who worship on Sunday are breaking the 4th commandment. And most churches say they do not have or believe in the spirit of prophesy. How sad.

You may be thinking I am Jewish. I am not. I am a Saturday Sabbath beleiving Christian.

I also want to add that even though he has these feelings he should talk to his parents about it openly and honestly. That is part of showing respect. He needs to do a thorough study of the Bible and know exactly what it is that he has found differently from his parents. I also think that he should wait to leave until he is 18 and legally considered an adult.

Answer 6

Hi Travis!!!

I believe that the Lord's hand is working in this situation already... An Ex JW needs friends, and you have given him that. Just like someone else said, if he hasn't been baptized as a JW, it will be easier with his family. If he HAS already been baptized then he will need to disassociate himself, and risk being shunned. In all honesty, none of that is important because with the Lord in his heart and you as his friend, he will grow as a Christian.

He is right to want to stop going to their meetings. Maybe you could have your pastor meet with the two of you during a lunch at school if your school is still in session?? Surely the pastor could help him with his parents. Just remember that everything that he does has to be his decision. You can't do this for him, but you can be there for support as he makes the decisions.

I want you to know that my husband was a JW, and was raised in a family with 7 children. 2 of his siblings refused to have anything to do with JW, and ended up moving out as soon as they were able to. My husband didn't smell the coffee until many years later. Your friend is very fortunate to have you on his side.

The Holy Spirit will help guide him, and the Holy Spirit will also help guide you. Remember that God does not fail. Be there for your friend when he has questions or is upset or is happy. Pray for him and with him and God will make it happen. I will pray too! I am sure many of the others will pray also.

God Bless You!
xo Anna

Answer 7

You are probably the most important part right now, outside of the bible and the Holy Spirit. You should get him the book "Jesus Freaks" Many children in the past converted and were chastened by their family. You need to be as patient and caring for him. He needs your stability and faithfulness until he is secure in his own faith.

Baptism is not a safe thing. People were killed for their obedience. But that is what makes it so much greater.

Father God, I just thank you for a father and son that care for a new christian. Lord, lift them up and give them the wisdom in this situation. Father, your word and your saints gave us a great example, so I ask that you give them the same hope. IN Jesus' Name. AMEN

You made a great point. He still needs to honor his parents to the point of not denying his faith. God bless

Answer 8

Dear Travis,

God bless you for what you are doing (providing "a drink of cold water" for someone who is perishing from thirst) for your friend and thank you so much for sharing with us. Your parents must be extremely proud of you and they have good reason to be.

You've received several excellent answers already but I want to let you know that many people are praying for you and your friend.

Your friend might enjoy looking at One Truth Exposes a Thousand Lies - Traits Shared Between Jehovah and Jesus found at http://www.soulright.com

Ooop! It's thundering, time to shut the computer off. (We've been having a week of instability showers.)

Edit: As Roxie J Squared suggested your friend should prepare for the "why". That is why I suggested he could look at the link I provided. A person could spend hours looking at all of the Bible verses given for the Traits Shared between Jehovah and Jesus.

As one person said "I'd say that's a supiciously high number of qualities that Jehovah and Jesus share. And since Jehovah God will not share His glory with anyone (Isaiah 42:8) it seems odd that the two have the same characteristics through and through."

For His glory,
JOYfilled

Answer 9

If you led him to the Lord through your Church set up a meeting with an elder or pastor. They wil be able to guide you both in the most Biblical way. I know the Bible says to honor your mother and father but it also says God,family, and whatever. It is in that order that we must go not what fits our ideal. That is one reason christians have been persecuted through the ages. He may have to do what his parents want for right now but it does not mean he can not keep growing in God's word.

Answer 10

A great deal depends on whether your friend has been baptised as a JW or not. You did not say. If he has, then his position is far more difficult than even you realise. If he has not been baptised as a JW then, at least, he cannot be disfellowshipped. Yet even if he is viewed as having disassociated himself by chosing to stop going to the KH then being baptised outwith the JW faith, it will be very hard for him to resist the subtle intimidations tactics often brought to bear on such ones.

I suggest prayer and Bible study is the most important thing for him (and you, in your supportive role). Earnestly seeking God for what to do (and what not to do) should be a daily, one step at a time thing. God knows how vital good Christian fellowship and worship is to this new babe in Christ. Thank him, in faith, believing that he will show the way through this trial. Keep trusting God, for "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil 1:6). Believe that promise. Pray it. Go forward in faith, together.

Answer 11

First of all, let me say that I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses and I have a daughter who is not. So, I am sad to hear of this situation.

But Jehovah's Witnesses are reasonable people who will accept his decision to be a part of whatever religion he chooses - that is, as soon as he is legally able to make this decision. They may be hurt that he came to this decision in secret without discussing it, but the will get over this in time.

If he was never baptized as a Jehovah's Witness, things will be much simpler for him. It means he never vowed to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses - so he wouldn't have to officially disassociate himself from the religion.

Maybe the best way for him to handle this situation is to pray - not for 10 - 30 seconds, but for 10 - 30 minutes. Pray for the strength it takes to have an open/honest discussion with the people who gave him life. But remember that his parents have a weighty responsibility to protect him from making bad decisions as long as he is in their household.

Tell him to prepare to answer "why" - some Scriptures to share with his parents which he feels disproves what JW's teach. I don't know if it can be done. Hebrews 4:12 shows the power of God's word.

If your friend has found the "truth" elsewhere, he should be running to his parents to help save them. Don't you think? So, I'm doubting this whole thing. But I pray that our decisions in life are Bible-based and not the result of shame or peer pressure or the desire to be accepted. If Jesus was persecuted for what he believed, then who are we not to be?