Is spanking your kids bad?

Question

Is it sometimes ok to spank if you dont lose your temper and dont use it for everthing? If your child does something to harm themselves or another child should you spank? if time outs havent worked for over 6 months?

Answer 1

MY PERSONAL OPINION in this matter is that yes, spanking is okay.. Heres why, I have 4 daughters and sometimes time out just does not work, and yes esp if they do something that may harm themseleves, esp if they know better. For example if they run into the street when a car is coming or try to stick something in a light socket. That is just my feelings on the subject.

Answer 2

This can be a really hot issue. Discipline comes from the Latin to teach. It doesn't mean to punish. Spanking is unnecessary and can be bad. It is hypocritical to tell a child not to hit and then hit them to "teach the lesson". We learn about the world and about people through the how and why, not through a fear of retribution. We don't hit because it hurts, and we wouldn't want to be hurt. We treat other people with respect because we want to be respected. We don't touch the stove because it is hot, not because Mom will inflict pain. You will be best served, both now and later when those tricky teen years start, to find your lesson and teach it. Teach the why, help the child accept responsibility for the actual consequences for the action, not being hit. If your child goes after another in anger, your child cannot play. That is far worse and far more logical than being spanked and allowed to return to the play area. I have very busy and very smart little boys. I don't spank them. I teach them. I only use time-outs as some time out from the world in order to regain control of ourselves (like during a tantrum or after a huge disappointment).
If you really want to spank, please remember:
It is not the severity of a punishment that deters us, it is the certainty of it.

Answer 3

I spank my kids as a last resort. I also believe a firm swat on the rear brings them back to reality so that they can see where the real problem is. I use it for constant repeat behavior, like jumping on the furniture. Sending them to time out 30 times aday was getting old, so I put my 6 year old over my knee and what a difference. Know he only needs one or two reminders a week that the couch isnt a trampoline.

Answer 4

No judgements here, I'll just relate my own experience...I used to spank my son occasionally but I found that it really didn't have much effect on the naughty behaviour. It only seemed to confuse him and he'd look at me like I was from outer-space. I ended up feeling so guilty that I stopped spanking. Now I need to remember to take a few deep breaths, walk away for a few moments, then go back and talk to him, and often include a time out or take away a popular toy for a while. Putting his favourite toys in time out really has had the best effect on improving his behaviour. He gets more upset by his toys being in time out than him being in it!

Answer 5

Hell no it s not. And to these "Time-out" parents... when the kid commits larceny or decides that so what if he loses something or gets time out, what then? I am a firm believer in spanking, hell I got spanked and half the **** that these kids do now adays I wouldn t DREAM of doing... why? Cause I know I woulda got a spanking and it wasn t worth the few minutes of pain for the fleeting pleasure. And it s even a biblical reference "Spare the rod; spoil the child"

Answer 6

I think spanking changes the child! My parents were very strict with me and my siblings. I think I am different because of that. I don't think I'm as "care-free" and trusting as I would be had I not been "spanked" and hit as a child.
I talk to my kids rather than spank them because it teaches them how to discuss the problem, instead of using anger and frustration to vent their feelings.
Time-outs don't work for every child. If you don't mind, I would suggest reading "Christlike Parenting" by Dr. Latham. It is a wonderful read about teaching children through example and love. It really changed the way I feel about my kids and how I discipline them. They treat eachother with respect and I get a lot more done during the day because the fighting has significantly decreased! Good luck!

Answer 7

hiya it always depends on the parents preference. however i believe spanking is a bad option as it sends mixed messages. how is trying to tell a child they have been naughty by spanking them and to later try and justify that hitting a a sibling etc is unacceptiable even though they the sibling has been naughty. i cant understand how you could become angry at the child for following out your actions. they need to be tought bad behavour is unaceptable by other means. try rewarding good behavour even if its something small, really praise praise them so they feel good. when naughty behavour occurs threaten to take away a special toy next time they do it follow through take the toy tell them why you took the toy tell them there behavour is unacceptiable and follow through i know its hard but it works even if it means they loose all of there toys they will realise that being naughty gets them no where. gradually when they are good slowly start giving the toys back they need to learn you are the adult. also try the above but introduce a reward chart for their good behavour if they are gettin praise from good behavour the will no longer strive for the attention they recieve whilst being naughty i hope this helped it certainly worked with my girls....

Answer 8

Spanking is an appropriate manner of discipline. No one should ever abuse their child but a simple swat on the tail end, thigh or on the hand can often do more than you expect. I never spank my child when i am angry. In fact I refuse to raise my voice when I tap him. I often lower my voice and give him 1 or maybe 2 swats in the palm of the hand but only after other methods are not working. Because I have tried to use consistent instruction and discipline throughout his life he rarely needs them now.
I know that I was spanked growing up and I knew that if I disobeyed that would be the consequence. Guess what, I chose not to disobey.

Answer 9

I honestly think spanking is a pathetic, cruel, and useless parenting method. We raise our children teaching them not to hit, right? So what do we do? We hit them when they do something wrong. And really, when I was a kid and I did something wrong I always thought, "oh well. I'll get spanked, it'll be over with quick, then I can go play".

Sometimes when a child is behaving so badly and doesn't respond to time out you need to resort to drastic measures, but not hitting.

Example: your 8 year old child talks back to you and hits you when you try to discipline them, and they do it on a regular basis. so you take away what's important to them to show you're not playing around, that you're boss. strip their room of all their toys, leaving just their blankets and pillows, nightlight, etc. explain to them that if they change their behavior they can slowly earn back their toys one at a time. if they still behave in such a way, give all of their toys to salvation army. overtime your child will be so miserable with no toys or fun they'll realize they have to be nice to mommy or else. then overtime you buy them new toys, when they behave well. eventually your child will straighten up (you dont do this for the typical child misbehavior, only severe continual behavior).

I'm telling you, this is MUCH more effective than spanking.

Answer 10

first, a little info if you do spank. You should sit them down and tell them why you are spanking them instead of just charging and spanking out of anger. Also you need to pick them up and lay them over your knees, etc. because just spanking a child (for example, while they are standing) can miss-align their spine and lead to back problems later in life)