HEALTHY relationship with a guy...?

Question

What is a healthy relationship these days?? What would be considered "normal" and a "healthy" relationship between a couple, guy/girl, in their early 20's. I haven't had normal, quality, or even very nice relationships, with men for a couple years now. I forget what a gentleman is or even what a respectful guy is for that matter. All men seem to want is one thing(sex, of course). I just want a REAL relationship with a guy, instead of games/sex/lies and weird *** behavior from them! I want something that is true, that can be built upon. What is it with guys?! Or am I just dating BOYS? Any suggestions/advice, would be great. Thanks! :)

Thanks so much for all of your input! I didn't think i'd get these many answers. :)
I also...
think that every woman knows what she truly wants and also knows/realizes when she is being treated badly, we just ignore our intuition. I can always pinpoint there being something off, or something messed up with a situation ,early on, while dating a guy. Most of the time I choose to ignore it. I really think that has lead to a lot of wasted time on complete jerks and even emotional abuse, from a few. I know what a healthy relationship is...it's just I choose to ignore the signals that tell me that one isn't. A healthy relationship should only be natural, I think. It is the most basic, core, things that make a real relationship work.

Answer 1

you shouldnt look ur men. GOD will send oyu the perfect one for you. i think you should get ur education. when you get that you can buy ur self the perfect man of he doesnt find u first. just dont worry just chill, hell chase after you. also if you still want to look go to good places ( NOT CLUBS< BARS OR CASINOS)

Answer 2

Well it certainly seems that the healthiest relationships are when both people are into each other at about the same high level. However, in my opinion, as this may seem a little sexist, but from watching couples and any animal species where there is a male and female, it seems like women like to be the beta in the relationship and let the man be the alpha. Since the male should be the "provider" and the "alpha," and most women seem to like this type of male. A relationship where the woman is acting as the alpha where she can basically tell the guy what to do all the time like he's a puppy dog, usually don't work. Men who give too much affection are usually also the ones that will do anything that a women tells them to do in order to please them. This type of male is acting like the beta. On the other hand, if you see a relationship where the woman is doing more of what the man is telling her to do and she is constantly doing whatever she thinks the man wants her to do, or showing more affection to the man than he is to her, then this is a situation where you have an alpha male and a beta female. Therefore, in conclusion, I agree that it does seem that relationships where the woman seems to be more affectionate to the male than where the male is to the female is probably going to have more success.

Answer 3

Cause women get wierded out by guys that are respectful, grateful, affectionate, and respect your thoughts and feelings. You don't know what your looking at so you go with the familiar rather than open something new. Wanna find a good guy? Do the deep test, sit down, of course this is after your confortable together but before sex, and see if he can tell you what makes him, him. Why he is the person he is, and what events and things durring life shaped him. If he has some substance, and has actually thought it through, then he's probably looking for more than sex.

Answer 4

Hi Lisa, Yes I guess that sex is the #1 thing on our minds in todays society. If we are single or if we are married it does not matter except in a few cases. I am not sure about the weird behavior. If we are single there is the ever present sex drive, that in todays society has no controls except for what the guy or the girl themselves impose on it. Sex at one time in the not too distant past was controled by the social attitude and church doctorine. You in order to be a part of the good guys were required not to be too hard to deter when it came to sex and of course the girls were required to stop any attempt to go past kissing. The guys were always told to wait till they are married, but during the 60's things changed and they are continuing to do so. I am at a loss to tell you how to deal with us in todays society. Unless it is to only allow the guy to do what you are comfortable with. Suggest to him to do things that are fun for the both of you to do or at least try if it is something you have been wanting to do and think you might have a great time at. Before you end up in bed together make it clear that you want to enjoy other things with him. Dancing , beach, theme parks, picnicks ,ball games, malls, tennis, pool, whatever, I think you will be more likely to find someone that you will want to be a partner for life if you get to know more about them, share fun and share each others heart. I know this is what you really want Lisa. It is not someone to love you I am sure you can take your pick, but someone that YOU can love. Best of love to you .

Answer 5

One where you both want to or bring the best out of each other, also in a healthy relationship you are able to talk about anything with each other. trust, honesty, loyalty, kindness, caring, love, patience, respect, communication and then some more are what you have, want, or seek in a good relationship. When you fight, you come back again later to talk through with them about it and try to figure it out. Forgiveness is also a big key in a lasting relationship, because you have to remember that no one is perfect. I hope that you find what you are looking for, and there are some men out there that are comepletly capable of that. Its just that they are really hard to find, but they are there.

Answer 6

You are not connecting with the right type of guys. Where are you meeting these Bozos? Expect to be treated nice and repectfully. Don't just settle for the first guy that ask you out. Wait until the right one ask you out. Meet them for a casual lunch or something before dating them. That way you can determine how they are going to act on a date.

The main key is to be patient. The right guy will come along. If he sees you dating these fools, he may just get the wrong impression and pass you by.

Answer 7

The only healthy relationship is one that rejects the liberal philosophy that sex without marriage is okay.

So, you're definitely correct, and finding a man with this standard is liking finding a needle in a haystack or a chicken with teeth.

It's hard to know what to tell a young woman in this day and age, because of all of the young men who have been corrupted by the liberal agenda and have no values.

There really aren't a lot worth marrying, but nevertheless, it's not impossible.

Answer 8

You are dating boys.

Dating is crap anyways. It's really about just finding a guy you have fun with FIRST. The attraction will come eventually. Not only that, but you can't just jump into physicality. You have to make the guy want it, and get to know you first. Be careful where you meet guys. Bars: No no. Clubs: No. Find guys through mutual friends. And last but not least quit TRYING to find a boyfriend. Just have fun with your friends and meet some of their friends and so on and so on. You can't rush it.

Answer 9

well normal is over rated.

more to the point, you may need to fish in a different pond or somehow set your filters differently.

there are plenty of nice people out there. Although almost everyone has a wierd strange spot that hopefully won't be too odd for you.

good luck.

Answer 10

I thought the same thing before. The only thing i can say is Dream On. We all cant find the perfect boyfriend. No man is perfect. Im married and he isnt perfect. He thinks he is but what man doesnt think he's perfect.... One day you will meet the one you want in your likings.

Answer 11

I think you need to aim alittle higher for your dating prospects or perhaps find a new pond to fish in.

If there is no sign of him being evolved, can't hold a door for ya, burps & farts loudly in a closed elivator ...... keep on walkin'

Try the South ... there are still a few gentlemen here.