Need help with 15 yr old son?

Question

failing school and getting into trouble. need info on state funded schools or academys who help troubled teens. he hates everyone and everything. takes no responsibilities for his actions. he blames everyone else. hes been caught steeling and lying. grounding does no good. we are a very worried family and need help to get him on the right track to life. weve told him were going to send him to military school to straighten him out, but he doesnt care. he now wants to go so he can get away from us. he thinks it will be great to get away from us. some schools or academys ive looked into are expensive. 40,oooo dollars. thats why im looking for federally or state funded places for troubled teens. thanks for your help

Answer 1

What a bunch of judgmental answers you've gotten! I'm having the same problems with my son, same age, same issues, and I am a good Mom! I've been involved in his life and education, he's had consequences, had to work for and earn things, tried the counseling, meds, tough love, military school, everything possible, and he's just in a bad place in his head right now.

He's a good kid, very smart and talented, but he's got a bug up his butt and he is ruining his life. He will soon be going to a private treatment facility that I hope will help.

I've looked into different programs, and they are all expensive; insurance doesn't help, and there are no state funded schools unless your child is in trouble with the law and court mandated to attend one.

For some of the programs I found the kids have to be 16, so depending on how close he is to 16, you might want to consider Job Corps. http://jobcorps.dol.gov/ It sounds like a terrific program.

There's also a National Guard Academy for kids, but again, they have to be 16. Here's a link to an article about one in Hawaii, but I think they have them all over. http://www.af.mil/news/story.asp?storyID=123020857

You can also try Outward Bound, but you have to pay for it yourself. www.outwardbound.org.

Many of the places help you get low interest education loans, so they're expensive, but worth it, such as Eckerd Youth Alternatives. Check out www.eckerd.org.

Ignore those people who say how perfect their kids are, and how you're bad parents and you should beat your kids or should have taken control a long time ago. I never expected my son to end up like this, and I'm sure you didn't, either. I had control, it's just over this past year he's gone wild, and now I need to get him back on track before something really really bad happens. Good kids sometimes hit rough spots, and we have to be there for them, love them, support them and do what we can to help them turn back around.

Good luck, and stay strong.

Answer 2

Try your closest Behavioral Health Hospital. It is only a guess but it sounds like he has anger management issues and maybe some drug abuse??? Is there ADD or ADHD in his past diagnoses? They usually have inpatient programs that remove the child from the home and give him intensive counselling along with regular classroom time. Part of the programs is covered by insurance if you have it.
Counselling for you is a must! You may be able to find local help that either accepts your insurance or charges on a sliding scale according to your income. Remember that you love him even when you want to hate the behavior.
You obviously have computer access- google for "troubled teens" and many sites come up with some really good information.
Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 3

I hate to say this, but by sending him off your only valadating his belief that you dont care about him. hence.. why he doesnt care about you guys. He is calling out for help.. maybe even love. Im sure you think your doing your best, but theres gotta be something thats missing in this relationship. If you send him to military school, he's bound to learn some discipline, but maybe never learn to love his family. What would be worse is to send him to a state or federal institution. The word institution itself is so cold.

Please think about what you are doing and what you want as the end result. Maybe counseling is the answer! Or maybe some heavy discipline is in order? Getting rid of your son for a few years will only get rid of the problem for a few years. You will pay a heavy price in the end.

I am a Sergeant in the United States Army I know a little of what im talking about

Answer 4

Wish I could say call this number ... but I can't ..... I can tell ya your not alone.

Many other folks are in the same boat. Just hope that one day he will grow up and see the mess he has been causing & living in and have the drive to fix it.

I'm sure you have checked with the local child welfare agencies for a referal. Your right most are very restrictive, very expensive and not very responsive to your needs as a parent in trouble.

Good Luck.

Answer 5

do you honestly think by getting rid of your son is the answer to your problems? sure this may be an easy way out but have you considered getting him therapy or just maybe having a heart to heart talk with him without nagging or stripping away any self esteem from him.he is lashing out on something he might be angry about.i too have three teenage children and sure you can teach them a leason but don't give up on him. tell him you love him and ask him its not to late to start fresh again we all make mistakes little ones and big ones. don't hold it against him because he will only hold things against you too.no body is perfect and don't forget we were all younge once too and in todays generation there is alot of pure persure,stress of school,other kids that are bullies, and than the home life.he will grow out of this stage have some hope in him before saying good bye.

Answer 6

im sorry to hear about your situation.
my younger brother is 15 and somewhat alike to your son.

here are some of my suggestions:
- counselling
- signing him up for a hobby in a environment with positive peers
(my mom enrolled him in this teenage hip-hop dance club inside our religion association. because we're all of the same religion, we do our prayers, study meetings and all together. at least we know he's not mixing with bad company.)

i don't know if this would help but u could try
- a heart-to-heart talk (if u can get him to sit down and listen to u)

my mom used to do that to my brother and she'll talk until she breaks down sometimes.
i don't know how he feels but sometimes, when i hear my mom crying alone in her room, it gets to me hard and i feel very guilty. i'd want to try to behave, study hard and make her happy even though my brother is the problematic one. maybe i just don't want to give more troubles to her.

so maybe by showing the soft side of u, it'll pain your son to see what he is putting you through and hopefully, he'll try to change for the better.

good luck and all the best. :)

Answer 7

My son had similar problems growing up.Unfortunately he didn't really straighten out till he "got away from us" by joining the Navy. Here we are four years later and he's a well adjusted adult who has a great life ahead of him. Hang in there.

Answer 8

I would try using a belt to straighten him out...it only costs $15 and a bucket of tears....Trust me, it will be a lot more meaning full if the discipline comes from you rather than some strange drill seargant that will basically do the same thing to him...Both my parents spanked me and my siblings and we are good people now because of it. But be cautious, dont hit too hard and dont over-hit...he could turn against you...so sedate him a little. You should have started this when he was younger. It would have saved you sooooo much time, effort, and tears.

Answer 9

I would probably call the police on something he has recently done and let him spend a night or two in jail. Then well see how grown up he is.

Oops did i say jail he's 14 so juvie lol

Answer 10

Before you ship him off,
try taking him to your doctor....
seriously.
he might have a chemical imbalance
they might be able to put him on an anti depressant drug.
I doubt that there will be any federally funded programs that will allow you to just drop your child off...but good luck