Is this abuse or what?

Question

I'm not sure if this is just me being over sensitive or my family are just jerks or what, but I'm not sure, so I'll ask you guys.

Ok, so my family totally ignores me unless they're screaming at me to do my homework, get to bed, or, their favorite "CLEAN UP YOU MESS!" My brother and I get in fights where HE starts it, and after I hit him and he hits me back, my mother punches me too! They ignore me, they don't care that I've got a horrible hacking cough, and they haven't shown me any sort of affection since....I can't even remember. I'm getting fed up.

So, what would you say this is? Them just being jerks, me being over sensitive, or what?

Answer 1

no, u r not being over-sensitive. that does sound like a problem...maybe you guys should see a family therapist...

Answer 2

It does sound pretty crappy... I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

I know it sounds kind of harsh, but, before blaming your family, can you think of anything you can do? Sometimes you have to show love before they love you back (which is totally unfair, seeing as they are your family).

For example, when my sister is in pain (or when she's having a bad day), she likes to vent on me (as in, she likes to pick a fight and yell at me). Now, most of the time I can't help being caught up in the fight, but when I'm able to look past it and see that she's in pain, the fight does not escalate and our relationship stays pretty good. If nothing else, her crap doesn't hurt me as much, because I can see past her snarky attitutde.

Perhaps you could start keeping your stuff a little more tidy, and when your brother starts a fight (even though it is totally his fualt), you could not allow it to escalate. Say you're sorry, even if you are not at fault. "A kind word turns away wrath." Try to be the one who solves the problem, even if you had nothing to do with it. Don't get caught up in the fight or the ugly. Hug your family more. Tell them "I love you" more. Try being compassionate towards your family, and maybe it might help the situation. I know it's hard, but your compassion might save your family.

But, when all else fails, let it go. Know that they love you, but maybe there's something in their life where they just can't be there for you. Love them the best way that you can, but try not to let the things they do hurt you. Sometimes, you have to let go and move on in a relationship.

But about the hacking cough, if it's been over a week, you need to get medical attention. Perhaps you could schedule the appointment with your doctor and ask a family member to help you get there (but if you do this, make sure it is at a time where it would not interfere with anything your family is doing)? If nothing else, surely there's a school nurse or someone in the medical feild you could talk to?

I hope everything turns out with your family.

Answer 3

No you're not overly sensitive, this is a form of abuse. It's mostly neglect, partially emotional and it sounds like if your mother punches you it's physical abuse as well. You can call the cops and tell them what happened or call Child Protective Services directly. You may not have to split up w/ your parents and siblings if you don't want to and they can get your parents into counseling programs.

You need to be seen by a doctor if you have a really bad cough, they should be showing you affection, and not ignore you- these are signs of neglect.

You've been punched- that's physical abuse. Has anything else happened?

They only speak to you if you are being punished- that's emotional abuse.

Do your parents drink alcohol regularly? Do they do any drugs?

Usually children who experience abuse or a bad homelife don't know if they're really being abused or not bcuz they're never told, never think or want to ask, or their feelings are neglected when they bring it up to the ppl that abuse them.

Answer 4

Adults aren't perfect and especially parents. Talk to your guidance counselor about it and see if you can get an appointment to check out the cough. It may be a post nasal drip. Blow your nose occasionally and see how that works. Eat oranges and grapes to make sure you're getting enough vitamin C. Drink lots of water to clear up the mucus. Play in the sun for an hour.

Try not to get into fights. Remember, you should love yourself the most and control yourself so that you can learn to be a strong person.

Be patient with your family. They're stressed out like too many other people.

Use 5 special smiles and 5 special kind words every day and see the magic come in, ESPECIALLY when you combine them. Try it!

Here's a big HUGE HUG for you!!

Answer 5

It doesn't sound like abuse. It just sounds like a family. Maybe you should act more mature by having you homework done before they ask, go to bed at a decent hour on your own, and pick up your "mess" as you make it. If you go ahead and do these things they won't have anything to yell about! As for your brother (I take it you're older than he is) you just have to ignore him. If this doesn't work then ask your parents to sit down and talk about it so you can voice your concerns without being yelled at. Good luck!

Answer 6

A lot of this sounds like a normal family but some of it is pretty harsh. I think you should communicate your feelings to them with a mediator.I am sure that they care about you and if they had the time to sit back and think about how they are affecting you they would try to be more understanding and loving.

Answer 7

That's too bad your mother punches you???? Try to not hit your brother since you know the end result will just be him hitting you back. Why don't you talk to a school counsellor about this? That's what they are there for. Or all the kids help phone?

Answer 8

well, I dont think they are abusive to you if what you said is all and nothing else happend. I would say at your age ppl are more sensitive. And I think u should work it out with ur parents, just try telling them that u have a feeling that you are being ignored. So, dont worry about it too much, I bet they love you .

Answer 9

Honestly, I think it may seem like everyone is overwhelmed. Alot is going on in the household. Seems like everyone is on a schedule and tight, moody, and stressed. But isnt there always two sides to every story? You have a voice and a opinion, and I would openly talk to your parents, express how you feel, maybe everyone is just stressed out, and doesnt even realize they havent made time for you, or maybe they done realize everything they say comes out negative or loud?

I hope that it gets better for you goodluck!

Answer 10

No, it's abuse. Your Mom hits you? Good god, call the law! If your in school, talk to your guidance counselor and address these topics. Yes, they also sound like jerks, but furthermore abuse is abuse, and this is defently abuse.

Answer 11

You are not being overly sensitive. Your family members are abusive, insensitive jerks.