everytime i get something good i mess it up i had a really good bf and i went and kissed a guy in front of him. and then i had a really good guy again and he told me not to do something and i went and did it. and i was in college but i started acting up and not going and then they kicked me out. what is it is it a fear of success. or a fear of commitment? and how can i get over it?
2007-05-31 15:29:19 · 14 answers · asked by focus_e_us360 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like both. Check thyself before thy wreck thyself.
2007-05-31 15:40:58 · answer #1 · answered by Skyy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a lack of self confidence and fear of commitment. You only get so many chances at something good before it's forever gone so don't throw everything away. Get to know who you are and why you act the way you do. Have some quiet time with yourself and learn about who you really are deep down. Understand that you're strong enough for rejection and worth taking those chances that willl lead to happiness and great enough to go through hard work that will eventually pay off. Once you realize that you'll have a much more fulfilled life
2007-05-31 22:34:51 · answer #2 · answered by blessed mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really think that you have a fear of anything. Everything you've describe indicates to me a sort of lack of self discipline and self control. I don't know what's causing it; only you know that. Is it possible that there's something you don't like about yourself? A lot of times when people are insecure with themselves, they do certain things to avoid situations where they have to really sit down and evaluate themselves (such as being in a relationship). Maybe you've been hurt by someone in the past. Maybe someone let you down big time. Whatever the case, you can't keep doing things like acting up and kissing other dudes when you're committed. The best advice I can give: Whenever you get an urge to do something you know you shouldn't be doing, just focus on something else. TV, music, your breathing... anything that will stop you from acting on those impulses.
2007-05-31 23:02:03 · answer #3 · answered by Jordan H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to need to see a shrink. The kind you can really talk to. You've got to lay it all out for him/her so they can help you get beyond this self defeating behavior. Don't be wierd about it; its their job, they are not making judgements about you; they are simply guiding you through a process of understanding yourself and what makes you do what you do.
It's likely that you were told a lot of negative crap about yourself from your caregivers when you were very young. It takes a lot of hard work to get beyond it. Maybe years.
2007-05-31 22:40:09 · answer #4 · answered by scarlett 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its fear of commitment.. maybe you should try being single for a while..its not good to hurt good guys like that because when you finally want to be serious with a guy then you are just gonna get an asshole.
2007-05-31 22:34:33 · answer #5 · answered by mimi66 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For some folks .... being told not to stick your finger in a light socket just isn't good enough.
You may be one of those folks ..... walking the rough road may teach you .... or time may be the ultimate educator.
Just keep on keep'in on ... you'll get there some day.
2007-05-31 22:34:41 · answer #6 · answered by John 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a fear of urself. Get it touch with ur heart, ur soul. Love them. Then, reach out for the joys of life. Seek the better. Help the worse.
2007-05-31 22:32:43 · answer #7 · answered by Ive T. 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one. Could you be looking for attention? Sounds like very self destructive behavior. You should probably speak with a counselor or doctor. Sometimes depression shows itself like that. Almost like you need drama and attention to be happy.
2007-05-31 22:36:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds as if you like to take things for granted. before long youll get your act together. hopefully sooner than later before you miss out on some other great opportunities that you wont have a second chance on!
2007-05-31 22:36:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jennifer S, why don't you take your own advice and speak with a marriage counselor since you cheat on your husband.
2007-05-31 22:44:16 · answer #10 · answered by Terry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋