My guy really wants a threesome and I'm not interested?

Question

Ok so my boyfriend, who I love dearly and is really great, is "joking" about wanting a threesome, but its not funny anymore. He loves his porn and gets off on lesbianism and one guy and many girls.

Personally, I don't like porn and am really not comfortable with having sex with another person (male or female). I've mentioned this to him and he's indicated he understands, but he jokes about a threesome almost everyday.

Not sure how else to answer him with a comeback other than how I'm not comfortable and I can't figure out why he finds it amusing/necessary to touch this topic so often.

I just want to find a lighthearted way to get him to cut back on the comments...any suggestions?

I love this man, I want to marry him, I just don't seem to have all the answers. I am pretty sure he respects me. My comebacks just suck...He is way more witty than I am.

Answer 1

On the serious side ..

you can try the serious route a few more times .. that you are not really interested. and you need to try and see if he is "joking" or still "fishing"

and

you need perhaps to clarify this for him .. it was a a major shock to a male friend of mine when I said it to hime in front of a lesbian friend .. she howled in laughter saying "he's right"....

He is not looking so much for lesbianism if he wants the girls to have a clue in liking HIM. most lesbians hate men. He wants someone bi-sexual or a hetrosexual harem.

if you want a comeback ..
pick a hunky mutual male friend (call him George) and say one evening to boyfriend...

Ya know, I'm not interested in another girl, but I am warming to the idea that it would be so interesting if George and you made out and then I could watch you go down on George and then watch George "do" you .. and then if there is some left .. me.

you could even salt the place with shonen-ai or yaoi manga.

be a little careful .. god only knows he might like that too .. but probable not.

quote:
Shōnen-ai is less sexually explicit than yaoi, sometimes not at all. Shōnen-ai is very popular in Japan, especially among schoolgirls and housewives. It has also found a strong audience in America and Europe, especially among 18–24 year old heterosexual women and homosexual men.[citation needed]

Answer 2

Both. yes he is typical, today. The three some thing is a peer pressure thing, A rite of passage. I hear Bullslingers recanting their hot sexual adventures to younger guys, and although I know that that it is just crap, that never happened the kids don't know it and feel they are entitled. This mentality has ruined thousands of lives, that I know of. Swing clubs are common now, and I can bet money that none or very few of them are started by women. This is just another exploitation of a women's nature. A guy that anounces these urges is deluded and has gotten so jaded that he has forgotten his initial reason for wanting a relationship in the first place. I would suggest being honest, had you just said no, right off the bat. He would have dropped it, or left to find out that this is not what he wanted anyhow. I always remember an old Elvis song when I hear this stuff. "when you bring a friend into your love affair. That will be the end of your lover, thats the end of your friend, oh yeah that's when your heartaches begin"

Answer 3

He is testing the possibility of you participating in a threesome with him and another female. The best way to eliminate this testing is to stop walking on eggshells around the issue and tell him - point blank- that you need a man who is interested only in you and not in some other females for a threesome because you are neither interested in threesomes or in sexual relations with anyone else except your "significant other" and your goal in this relationship is one of long term commitment that may lead to marriage.
If this comment scares him off or causes him to leave you alone, consider yourself to be very lucky. It is emotionally degrading for a female to be forced into a sexual game that she is not interested against her wishes and then to be abandoned anyway. I hope he changes his mindset but it is doubtful that he will. Best wishes.

Answer 4

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. Here is some snappy come backs to his "I wanna 3some" comments:

"Sure, we can have a 3some so long as I pick the girl. And I am a chubby chaser. So long as she is 280+ pounds, sign me up"

"Sure, we can have a 3some. But to warm up, we have a guysome, and I get to pick the 2 other guys"

"Sure, we can have a 3some. As long as it is on a motor yacht I own docked in the Fiji islands"

"I can only do 3somes if I had a 45 room mansion, I need the space for the extra person."

"I can do a 3some, so long as the other girl is a blow up doll"

Need more? I have dozens of them LOL LOL LOL

Answer 5

honey you need to just tell him like it is, I cant tell that your getting fed up with his comment and jokes, why dont you say. "look sweety we need to talk, I`m not sure if your joking or being serious but I dont like a three some or the idea of one and I dont think its funny...you must have a reason why you keep bringing it up everyday, and I am not at all comfortable with that or joking with it.

and if he dosent understand then you know what to do, find someone who RESPECTS YOU

Answer 6

If you dont feel comfortable about that and he cant respect that you should tell him to go find some1 who is down for whatever and if he leaves you he wasnt really true to u to begin with

Answer 7

Sounds ro me like you need to dump him and find a guy that feels the same way you do about porn and sexual stuff. There are guys like that in this world

Answer 8

if a guy mentions stuff like that alot ive found that its actually a question they're afraid to ask. if it gets much worse breakup with him dude! do you want to be with a guy like that anyway?

Answer 9

Tell him that he is a disgusting pervert. Or ask him who the third person would be? A goat? His mom?

Answer 10

Yea like, he can get a threesome with his two hands.