I got a tattoo and my family is not very understanding?

Question

A long story made short.
My biological mother died last August so i recently decided to get a tattoo to remind me of her presence and to never forget about her. I do not regret getting the tattoo but my family is relentless in harassing me about it. It seems like everytime some conversation about tattoos come to light im suddenly thrown into it in a negative perspective. Its starting to get me upset how my parents, and the rest of my family, cannot accept me for who i am and what my decisions are. So i guess my question is how can i alleviate the harassment and get my parents to understand my situation. I've tried talking it out but they are strict and have a one track mind when it comes to tattoos. Any suggestions would be great thanks.

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=29085156&albumID=0&imageID=7099654

if you would like to see it

Answer 1

jkc & the others have it right - you're not going to be able to change your family's minds, and obviously they're not going to change yours. Best advice is to change the subject if they bring it up and/or not bring it up yourself. People feed off this kind of conflict, but if you refuse to play the game with them they'll eventually let it go.

Or not. If that's the case, it's your call, but I tend to let the stubbornly ignorant find their own way. I haven't had to worry about familial acceptance for years, but when I did we butted heads often on other invasive topics. Nothing quiets a bullying gaggle of family like refusing to stick around for their abuse & not returning for much of anything until they learned to be civil.

It's not a great solution, and it's hardly guaranteed, but sometimes the only winning move is not to play.

Answer 2

First of all... I will remind you that you are an adult and can make your own decisions for yourself and your own body. Secondly, that means that you are not obligated to doing something just because your friend wants to do it. Tattoos are cheap and permanent, and can't be removed without great expense. The tattoo is nobody's business but your own. I understand that if your parents are paying for your education and expect a certain level of conduct out of you, that you may wish to hide it to keep the school funding coming for the next couple of years until you graduate. If the tattoo is on a spot that can be covered, such as with a shirt sleeve, then do so. If it is on an ankle, you can wear socks or get some of that scar-coverage makeup at the local drug store.

Answer 3

I am sorry for your experience. I have also dealt with similar experiences, with a much worse reason than you. I would say that your best option is to avoid the subject and keep it covered around your family. Tattoos were taboo for a long time and many traditional parents do not like them. You would do well to try to let this become forgotten.

Tattoos have become very main stream around the world, but that is with "younger" people. In some cultures a tattoo was indicative of criminals. Here in the US it used to be criminals and Military. In Russia the only ones who used to have tattoos were the criminals. This is why many elders frown on tattoos. While your friends and peers will accept and admire your tattoo, your family wont.

Answer 4

If they know it upsets you that probably makes them bring it up even more, whether they mean to or not. You have to just completely ignore them. If they start to talk about you and your tattoo specifically, either leave the room or don't respond at all.
I'm 39. My mom freaked when she found out I got a tattoo. She has no idea what I've gotten since that first one. No need to tell her or upset her. She would never, ever understand.
You will never change their minds, they will never change yours. So the best way to alleviate the harassment is to not react to it. Hopefully the topic will not be as interesting to them as time goes by :)

Answer 5

if your family is against tattoos there is nothing that you can do to change their minds. you just have to be you and show them that you are the same person that you were before you got tattooed. and if it comes down to it you can fight fire with fire. any time they mention your tattoos negatively bring up something negative about the person who is targeting you. surely your family is not perfect. uncle johnny has probably gotten drunk and acted ridiculous. or aunt sally surely told some deep dark secret that nobody is supposed to know. EVERY family has something that can be used and it shouldn't take long for them to realize that if they attack you then you will do the same to them.

Answer 6

i wouldn't pay too much attention to it, even if it really gets on your nerves. Just tell them that this is the way you want to remeber your mother, regardless of what they believe in. I'm planning on getting a tattoo myself, and my parents would freak if they ever find out, but its what I want to do. Its a good thing you don't regret it, it is your body afterall. i don't think its possible to change their mind about this topic, but its already happened, and it looks really nice. So just don't get mad over what your family says, its just their opinion, and you wanted it so that you can remember your mother, so don't worry about it.

Answer 7

Well, I think your reasoning for the tattoo are sweet. Whether they like it or not, you have the tattoo so they'll have to deal with it. It's not their decision. Just make it clear to them that you are happy with your decision and they have to accept that. If they really care about you, then somethign as harmless as a tattoo wouldn't interfere with oyur relationship with them.

Answer 8

Tell them if they behave more kindly toward you that you might consider getting a tattoo with their names as well if they ever pass away. If they keep being disrespectful about it, tell them you're thinking about getting a tattoo more fitted to the other special people in your life that reads "Devil's Spawn".

Answer 9

the decsion has been made and you can't take it off, you got that tattoo for a reason and your parents just have to deal with it, if they keep bringing it up then just leave the room. i'ts something that is special to you and really it's nobodys business but yours..... it's your memory...

Answer 10

it sounds to me like you got the tatoo for a good reason, it is not like you went out and got a tattoo of something that means absolutely nothing to you. So my advise to you is just to ignore the criticism. just rememer what you got if for and what it means to you.