Fellow atheists: What do you say when the church people knock on your door every other week?

Question

I mean, after a while it gets pretty annoying-so you gotta do something to scare em away. When they knock on my door, I go "SPAAAAAAAAAAAARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" They usually don't come back...How about you?

Answer 1

F*ck you and your god normally does the trick.

Answer 2

Well I am not an atheist, but I have handled it several ways in the past depending on my mood... Normally I will just discuss the differences between the various religions and philosophies... then start discussing the many different translations of the bible over the centuries and how very very different most forms are from the Torah (the original source of the old testament after all). I have however answered the door naked before... As well as one time I answered the door with a bloody knife (I had been preparing and cutting meat for a large dinner, so the butcher knife was quite bloody) and just said "What... I am busy..." for some reason they did not stick around.

Answer 3

If you yell that and they usually don't come back, why are they knocking on your door every other week. Something doesn't add up. I have lived in the same house in a big neighborhood for 36 years and I would guess that maybe 4 people have came to my door in all that time.

Answer 4

Well I live next door to a Jehovah's witness. She used to come in and try and tell me stories about God and say I was silly for not believing but she has got the message now and doesn't mention it anymore. Her daughter just died recently and she thinks she has gone to a better place so I just leave her to it. She really believes in it with a passion and would never listen to reason. The poor delusional old soul. The sad thing is when she dies she will never even get to see how wrong she really is.

Answer 5

May I suggest a small American Atheist symbol or possibly a Darwin fish emblem.
You could get some of the "Imagine No Religion" flyers to pass out to them.

When I have time for them I usually go into long, long explanations and discussions while they are standing outside at the door, especially if the weather is crappy.

Answer 6

Where do all of you people live who have people knock on your door all the time. I've lived in my house over three years and had one church group knock on my door(JW"S). I can't believe how many people talk about this on r&s , so I was just wondering where you are!!

Answer 7

We keep a gun behind the door, Once one of them asked did we ever use it - I invited them out back to "view the 'hides' "
Surprisingly that worked I have not seen any in over 5 years
with the exception of mother in law--hhhmmmm gotta work on that one

Answer 8

I'm not an atheist, but I have only had jehova witnesses knock on my door. I was polite to them, and told them that I didnt have time for them. They would usually come by when I was home on my lunch break.

Answer 9

I usually humor them for a while, and politely decline their offers. Occassionaly I will debate them if they seem up for it, but not usually. They don't come by often enough to really bother me, and they're mainly harmless.

Some are actually con artists though, so I don't suggest anyone let them in the door, atheist or christian.

Answer 10

I hang a Sile na gig on the door, it usually does the trick.

I won't post a link as I might get a violation, but google image search her, you'll see why.
be warned, she's no prude.

Answer 11

Last Fall I actually spritzed one in the face with a spray bottle of water I use on house plants while saying "I baptize thee". After showing up about every month for almost a year, he hasn't been back since then. It must have worked where "no thanks" didn't so many times.