do you think this is fair?

Question

My boyfriend and I broke up about 2 weeks before prom....he and i were still speaking after we broke up. I am16 years old and he is 18. we have been dating for what would have been 2 years this october. I have no doubt in my mind that i am in love with him. my mother decided that since i still wanted to be with him after the break up, that i was obsessed with him and he is now my "idol" because i say that he is amazing (and i have also called him perfect as in perfect for eachother..."you are perfect for me.") my mother says this is unhealthy and that spending almost everyday together means i worship him and care about nothing else. my mother forbade us to talk until i am 18 (my stepfather said to wait for it to blow over but i know my mother and i know that she was quite serious...)however we went against their wishes and now i am not allowed to leave my house for 6 months and i am not allowed to see or speak to him. i miss him and i feel like my parents are being completely unfair

Answer 1

It sounds to me like you already have it in your head that this boy is your soul mate. That you are in love with him and have all the desire to spend the rest of your life committed to being in a relationship with this guy. You are only 16. What you like and want now probably won't be the same when you are older. At 16 you don't expect certain qualities in a boyfriend that you would if you were in your 20's and considering marriage.

What you need to do is take the time you will be having away from you ex and re-evaluate the whole situation. Your feelings for him and what it is that you like about him. Maybe even ask an adult what they look for in a spouse and compare your list to theirs. You will more than likely see that there is a huge difference. The fact is what you have for him is teenage infatuation. It's possible that the two of you will get back together later on in life and have a relationship but it will be because of his "man" qualities and not because of what you are feeling now about him.

I think all of this is your mom's main concern. However, she should have enforced this awhile ago and not just now. In fact, if you acted the about the same while you were with him she should have set down some restrictions. So now she just appears irrational and unfair. Do I think you deserve to be holed up away from him for 6 months? No. But I do think you need time away from him.

Answer 2

I know it is hard to fathom at your age, but you really don't have a clue as to what love is. It won't be until you are much older that you realize or admit to yourself the truth of that. You are still too young to even have really formed your own values, interests and plans for the future. You are in the painful middle ground, between being a child and being an adult, because you are neither a child anymore nor are you yet an adult. I hope you will give yourself a break and take the time to mature a lot more before you start thinking you are in love.
I think 6 months is pretty harsh, but I'm not aware of the whole situation. Your mother sounds like she loves you very much and is very concerned with your well being. Believe it or not she knows a lot more about life and love then you do, because she has more years of experience that's for sure. A wise child takes council from his/her parents.

Answer 3

Okay 6 mos. is unfair. My mother use to ground in months too and she always stuck to it. But, why are you hanging out with a guy you broke up with? And did he break up with you, or you with him? You are young and even though you might have strong feelings for him, you really need to see what else is out in the world before you get stuck on one person. Especially a person you are no longer with. It is not healthy to keep hanging on to a person when it might be time to let go. i know right now it feels like you just have to see him. But I promise you will get over that. if it is meant to work out it will and your mom is probably trying to keep you from getting really hurt. She's just over asserting herself.

Answer 4

Well 6 months is rather long , how ever ,you are young , you do not have to spend all your time with him . Do some things for yourself , go with some friends and do things , you have your whole life ahead of you .

Answer 5

TRUST ME..iTS FAiR BECAUSE UR PARENTS CARE AB0UT Y0UH AND THEY D0N'T WANT Y0UH T0 KEEP 0N G0ING LIKE THiS..iTS N0T G00D...BE STR0NG AND GET 0VER HiM...EVERY0NE AR0UND Y0UH CARES AB0UT Y0UH

Answer 6

Hmm... talk to your mom and tell her how you feel. Don't be afraid to raise you voice and yell! Express your feelings, and then see if you can't conprimise.

Answer 7

i totally disagree with that, i don't think is fair.