Do you have a child that liked to hit people?

Question

My 2 years old always get in trouble in school smacking the teacher and other kids. He does that too at home with us, when he has a temper tantrum, the first thing he does is smacking us in the face, he broke my glasses last week and he bump off my front tooth with his head today, it was so painful I cried. My husband does spank him, but I wonder that method would work on his behavior

Answer 1

He's 2 so you definitely need to put a stop to it. There is no excuse for hitting others and having him hit you, especially in public, would be embarassing.

Your husband isn't spanking effectively if it isn't working. He needs to sit down and evaluate why it isn't working.

If he is throwing a fit at home or for whatever reason is upset and smacks you immediately pick him up and place him in his crib, highchair or room and shut the door. Walk away and let him know in a clear, calm voice. Time Out. Do not give him attention by explaining what he did or lecture him. Do not stay in the same room so he can get negative attention. Once he calms down, start his time out, and then go in and talk with him. If he starts getting out of control again, walk away! You are the adult. You don't argue with children! Come back and tell him that Mommy is talking and he needs to be quiet. Tell him he hurt you and have him apologize or whatever you feel is appropriate in your family.

Do this EVERYTIME and he will stop. He isn't accomplishing anything when he is hitting. You aren't solving his original problem and you aren't feeding into the tantrum.

Good Luck. SD

Answer 2

If he only does it when he tantrums, then work on helping him out grow the tantrums, which most children do by the time they are 3. I found that the best way to deal with tantrum is to avoid the situations which they are most likely to occur (tired, hungry, etc) and when they happen ignore the child until he stops. Don't reward the tantrum by giving him what he wants or you risk turning into a way to manipulate you. If you are willing to give in do it before the tantrum, not after. A tantrum is a total; loss of self control and being spanked doesn't not help children control themselves, it just aggravates the situation..
If he hits at other times then some sort of punishment is in order but a time out of scolding is probably better than spanking. Hitting a child is not a good example for teaching a child not to hit. Letting your natural reactions to being hit show might do the trick. My daughter was a biter, and once when I was carrying her she bit me so badly I reflexively dropped her. She never bit me gain. I don't recommend dropping children , but put them down and show your hurt and anger by turning you back or walking away.

Answer 3

My daughter (2.5 years) is doing this. She's been doing it for a long time. At first, I tried holding her hands, looking her in the eye, and saying, "no!". No luck. So, I started trying time-outs for a while. No luck. I tried smacking the back of her hand. No luck. I tried just walking away from her and letting her be mad for a while. No luck. It tried saying, "ouchie!" really loud and pretending to cry to show her it hurt. No luck. Swatting the butt. She started kicking or hitting harder. I don't know what to do. Keep in mind, I tried each of these for a while before switching to another method. I'm going to keep track of this question to see if you get any good answers. Good luck to you!!!!

Answer 4

It's mostly genetics, believe it or not, and we are learning a lot about that aspect of early violent behaviors. But, it is also about environmental influences, including limits and example and what the child is exposed to in literature and TV. I cannot recommend strongly enough to not allow TV or attending sport events until the child is at least 6 years old. Ten is better. Also, we are all being bombarded with messages from advetising found everywhere, including packaging of merely the groceries you bring into your home. Extraordinarily advanced psychological science goes into creating social shifts and currents, including tendencies for violence. Be very careful of what your child sees these days even in packaging and advertisements in the back of his books.

Answer 5

I have 3 kids, and none of them really were hitters, but I am a pediatric home health nurse, and I work with alot of different kids...and I have worked with a few that were real hitters.......and the best method for this is to firmly tell them no, that you dont hit him, and you dont want him to hit you. If that dosnt work....then maybe a time out.

Answer 6

My 19 month old is having the same problem. I think it may be a phase they go through where they test their boundaries. When he does it, hold his hands and look him in the face and say No. My son usually gets the hint and stops at that point. But he always does it again.

Answer 7

Well if you are already spanking a toddler that can't communicate then obviously he is learning that hitting is okay. Stop the spanking. Tell him "we dont hit". Show him over and over and over again how to touch "gentle". This is phase because is still too young to communicate his needs and wants nor does he understand that it is wrong. Just keep talking to him, showing him how to touch nice and stop the hitting yourself.

good luck.

Answer 8

It's usually a phase.
My little cousin used to have that problem. He always wants to know how far he can go before he gets in trouble. And my cousin still does that now.
Instead to spanking, why don't you take away his toys, or his privileges?

Answer 9

have u ever thought of time outs? take a chair into a certain area and making them sit there for two min. Thats what my sister did for my nephew she would tell him "if you hit mommy one more time your going on time out to the blue chair(just a chair in that sits against the wall facing everyone but away from toys and tv) and then after the time out telling him that if he hits that is where he will go, it helped her within about a month he didn't hit much anymore

Answer 10

When my daughter used to hit, I would smack her on the bottom once and tell her, "it doesn't feel good does it?" then I would put her in the play pen for time out and tell her that if she's going to act like a baby, then she's going to be treated like a baby. She's 3 and does not hit anyone anymore.