Ramjet said a laugh was in order around here so.....
What is the best Religious or Atheist joke you know?
2007-05-31 12:38:42 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
An old-time southern, hell fire and brimstone country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.
Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:
- a Bible,
- a silver dollar,
- a bottle of whisky and
- a Playboy magazine
"I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself, "when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he picks up.
If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!
If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too.
But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good, low down drunkard, and, Lord, help me.... what a shame that would be.
And worst of all..... if he picks up that magazine he's gonna be a skirt-chasin', no good bum."
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month's Centerfold.
"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered, "he's gonna be a Congressman
2007-05-31 12:45:34 · answer #1 · answered by Janet L 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
A preacher from the heart of the big city marries a beautiful, amazing farm girl. The couple is still young, and the farm girl starts going to his church.
During his first sermon after his marriage, the preacher's wife was sitting in the front row. He got nervously up to the pulpit and started his sermon off with this line: "Before I met my wife, I'd never seen a cow."
Thank you, thank you... I'm here all week. Try the veal.
2007-05-31 13:16:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
A young woman wearing a skirt sits in the front pew on Sunday.
The priest leans over and says to an altar boy is that P*ssy Green.
The altar boy gets down on the floor looks for a moment at the young lady, then whispers to the priest, "No father, I think its a reflection from the stained glass."
2007-05-31 12:43:54 · answer #3 · answered by iroteb 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A Christian bought a new dog, and he wanted to take it for obedience training. He looked through the Yellow Pages and found an interesting looking obedience school -- "Pentacostal Puppy Palace."
He took the dog to the school and asked the owner about the name of the place. The owner said, "Here, we train dogs strictly according to Biblical standards. Leave Rover with us for a week, and you'll be amazed at the results."
So the man leaves the dog with them and comes back a week later. The owner of the school brings the dog out and says, "Watch this. Rover, sit!"
Rover's little furry rump hits the ground in record time. "Rover, down!" Rover is stretched out at the man's feet in an instant.
Finally, the man says, "Rover, heel!"
Rover stands up on his back legs, puts his paws on his owner's shoulders, and says, "In the name of the Lawd, I declare this man is CURED!"
2007-05-31 13:04:32 · answer #4 · answered by Wolfeblayde 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Two boys driving a truck, they reach an underpass with sign 12 feet while there truck is height 15 feet. One of the boys say "what should we do" and the other one says "No cops, lets try"
2007-05-31 12:42:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Pascal's Wager.
2007-05-31 12:40:56 · answer #6 · answered by S K 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'm an atheist joke... I'm also a joke along other lines as well, but that goes w/o saying.
_()_
2007-05-31 12:45:02 · answer #7 · answered by vinslave 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's the difference between real Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
2007-05-31 12:47:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Pentacostals.
2007-05-31 12:43:03 · answer #9 · answered by Boris Badenov 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.
Surprised, he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?"
"Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
2007-05-31 12:44:00 · answer #10 · answered by Kromer 2 · 7⤊ 0⤋