I have had a friend with benefits for about 4 months already. Ive had two prior friends with benefits before & this one is nothing like the others. The others where the basic "wham bam thank you ma'am" & I was happy with that. But now this guy likes to TALK! I mean we'll talk for hours ( I dont mind, I like talking to him a lot) But he's drama too. He tried to break up our little "friends" relationship b/c I told him my friend thought he was ugly & I accidently let it slip that I had been w/ cuter guys & sinces hes an aspiring actor he took it really bad & was mad & his ego got bruised. lol. So I accepted it & was fine with it. Later he decided he still wanted our "relationship" . Is this too much drama or what? Would it be healthier for me to stay away...I like him but....Any comments/suggestions? Im open to anything. I mean if he wanted to call it quits over something really petty, what does that mean? Confused!
2007-05-31 12:19:48 · 34 answers · asked by 456lily456 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If it's a friends with bennys then fine, but when the drama llama arrives this guys sounds like a whinny prissy ego-maniac. He needs to either shut up or talk about sex or something. Talk about the now. Since your screwing him, I would think he wouldn't have a problem that you've dated cuter men, he's the one that "into" you at the moment! GEEEEZZZZ
2007-05-31 12:24:03 · answer #1 · answered by spjp p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a question. What happens when you decide he is too much drama and you break up with him and his behavior turns suicidal, or worse, what if your pregnant to boot?Birth control DOES HAVE A FAILURE RATE. You have EARNED a reputation as being "easy".Is the benefits going to be worth it then?Youve already been used and dumped like a cheap throw away sex toy hon.Was the "benefits" worth that? Because you sure dont sound like you have "fond" memories of the wham bam thank you mam treatment.In fact it sounds like your angry.Then you like this guy better than the last 2 because he is nicer and likes to talk and likes you for more than sex, YET, somehow youre not totally satisfied. What happens when you get an std or pregnant or both?THIS is WHY you need to get to know a guy FIRST BEFORE ever having sex and you get a "COMMITTMENT(MARRIAGE)' FIRST and then you dont have to worry about being used and dumped and all the other things that WILL eventually happen to you IF you continue on this course.It may seem like "benefits" to you, but when your sitting alone on a weekend with a screaming baby and genital warts, youll realize sex outside of marriage wasnt beneficial at all.
2007-05-31 12:29:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At first it may seem fun. But friends with benefits isn't really a good thing. But do whatever you want. What if things kind of slowed down..then what? How do you feel when someone asks if you guys are going out..what do you say? "Oh,we're just friends..." Think about it:]
2016-05-18 00:06:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confused yes you are. Not about your FWB, but your own worth. It is not based upon how many men will sleep with you. Or even who will or wont talk to you. Your worth is in who you are and its sad that you have permitted it to be reduced to what is between your legs.
You seem to have some problems with intimacy and that is what you need to deal with. You like the intimacy you have with this man when you talk, but you push him away at the same time by telling him some people think he is not that cute and you have been better. Sounds to me like instead of getting real you are testing him. You are creating the drama.
Time to get real darling...you want more but for some reason are very afraid of it.
2007-05-31 12:32:28 · answer #4 · answered by CHELLE BELLE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not like you are calling him boyfriend/girlfriend yet. Its only natural that after doing the deed you would want to talk for a little. You seem to be more attached to him then you will yourself to belive.
Dont worry, guys have egos and when they are broken they become like that (expecially an actor, your friend really knows how to aim for the weak spot, sheesh). If your starting to develop feelings either you need to go up to a relationship or down to a friend.
gl hf :)
2007-05-31 12:26:32 · answer #5 · answered by ChAtMaN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the old 'When Harry met Sally' thing. Men and women are almost never true platonic friends. One always has feelings for the other and in this case I think it's his feelings for you.
If he didn't love you, he wouldn't care what you thought about him. He'd be having his fun and that would be enough for him.
The whole FWB thing is a minefield and needs absolute honesty from both parties. I don't think he's been honest and it's not fair for either of you. He'll get hurt and you'll feel guilty.
2007-05-31 12:31:21 · answer #6 · answered by Fifi L'amour 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I don't believe in friends with benefits. Recreational sex is really not what sex is all about. Sure it's recreational but what about the deep emotional factor that goes along with it? What happens if one friend realizes that he or she has become very emotionally involved? Can become a very sticky situation. As well is this really the way you want to live your life? Do you really want to be a receptacle for a guy's appendage? I would think long and hard on this one.
2007-05-31 12:24:49 · answer #7 · answered by rahtenrobbie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bringing drama and attitude really undermines the whole point of the "friends with benefits" setup. If he wants someone to massage his ego and put up with his crap, let him go find a girlfriend.
Tell him you're worried that that your arrangement is becoming too emotional and personal, and that you'd rather stay just platonic friends before someone's feelings get really hurt.
(You should also apologize for your comment if you haven't already, because it's kinda rude to tell someone "someone thinks you're ugly, and I don't entirely disagree with them.")
2007-05-31 12:27:45 · answer #8 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you probably will not want to hear what I am going to say but I am going to call it as I see it here ...you do not seem to be too much of a friend... why would you tell a friend (with or without benefits) that he is not as good looking as other guys? for whatever reason it seems as though you are not very sensitive to HIS feelings.Since tyou are this way why don't you let him go find someone that cares about or even loves him for him.. and will not compare him to other guys. It seems as though you're perhaps just using your "friend with benefits" for some ego gratification or to fill some void in your self
2007-05-31 12:27:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can answer this from a personal perspective. I have done this in the past and trust me no good can come of this. It does not matter if you guys are friends and he likes to talk to you as well. You should get out now, before it gets even more confusing to you. You deserve someone who will be with you in a relationship as well as giving someone that part of you.
2007-05-31 12:25:05 · answer #10 · answered by Natalie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋