How do I help my mother?

Question

My mother has severe depression issues. She is also married to someone 20 years older than her. They have been married 20 years. He can be very verbally abusive. She lives in Houston and I live here with my 3 children. I am a newly single mom and I also run a daycare out of my home for 3 babies 5 days a week. I want to help her in any way, but I am worried about not getting along after a few months if she lives with me. She will have to live with me because her financial situation is not good. My sibling is newly married and does not want to help right now which I can understand. My mother put me in a parental role at a very young age and I have always been expected to take care of her. She is very codependent. Am I making a mistake for me and my kids by letting her move in?

Answer 1

1. She needs to see a doc for her depression.
2. She needs to contribute to the household, by helping in your daycare.
3. YOU need to make it clear to her, what HER responsibilites are BEFORE anything else is decided.
You are NOT her caregiver. You need to be equal adult partners in this endevor, to be of benefit to you both!
It can be wonderful for you both......or it could be a living hell.

Answer 2

What you need to think about is whether you can manage taking care of her, your children, and those kids in daycare. It would be a great help to your mother, but if you end up feeling very stressed with everything, you might feel bad that you let her stay.

Consider all of the consequences of this. Positive: your mother will be in what seems to be a better living situation; she will be grateful to you; etc. Negative: you might found out after a few weeks that it's too much work for you to deal with; your relationship with her might suffer; etc.

If you choose not to let her stay, there are certainly other ways you can help her. Tell her that you are worried about her situation, and if she is not already seeing a doctor about her depression issues, help her find someone.

No matter what you choose, you can still make a difference.

Answer 3

I would say you would not be making a mistake you would be giving her the supourt she needs to hopefully get back on her feet. You will have to establish some ground rules though because if not she will wind up running your house when all is back to normal. As for the guy let him wallow in his own words, he has too many issues to worry about rather than trying to be married. Family is where the heart is so no matter what your mom will be better off.

Answer 4

If it's possible, have you mother help out with the daycare. That way, you could probably take care of more children (making more money), and it would also give her something to do.

I hope this helps!

Answer 5

Your mother has always been there for you & your siblings.She has nurtured you, turning you into the kind of person you are today. When you needed her, she was there. Now that she needs you is not the time to back away.

She's getting old, who else should take care of her but you.

This is not a mistake at all.

Answer 6

im not sure. id let her stay just until she gets on her feet again. get some antidepressants and try to talk her into getting help. my mom is very bad too : (
think, does she love who she is married too? if she is then it doesn matter. but the verbally abusive....? yea, get him help for that because if he puts that on her the depression will come and your work will be torched. just get them help. and try not to have your kids near them alot when they are in bad moods.

Answer 7

Hi,she is your mother,it is your role to help her now that things is not well with her.If you neglet her and along the way something happen to her you will blame yourself.God put you in that position so that you will help her.mother is mother.i will not leave my mother to surffer or to be in the street when i have a home.

Answer 8

i hope would talk to here