Husband went off all meds after 6yrs diagnosed with bi-polar - refuses doc treatment & tearing family apart.?

Question

mood swings are unbearable, spending is through the roof (own money, not family $$$) selfish behavior - no drugs or alcohol in 4+ weeks. Experts want to get him back in therapy, blah, blah. I don't want to change him, I just want the man who's a great dad & husband back without fighting. Can it work? Where do I start. I've tried to talk, but it ends up him not listening and the family scratching our heads.
Is there ever any way to get someone to truely understand?

Answer 1

I went thru this and it took me and my husband seperating for about a year for him to see that he needed to be on his meds, and that he was being selfish. We still have a few problems here and there, but all in all it is good now. I have noticed that bi-polar people often think they are just fine without their meds, and it takes a real rude awakening to get them to see that they really need the help.

Answer 2

My brother was diagnosed with bi-polar in his childhood, and growing up around him seemed to prove a valuable point to all the members of my family, not just about those with bi-polar or other mental illnesses, but about people in general.

You can't want something for somebody, they need to want it themselves. He's not going to change until he sees that he should change, you can only try to help him see that. If there's no solution, there's no solution, but that's not the conclusion you want to have when it comes to somebody you love. I believe you when you say that he is a great dad and a great husband, and he couldn't be great at either if he didn't truly care about his family. He needs to recognize that he has a problem, but that would be easiest if he doesn't have to feel like the only one in the family with a problem, Try to have an entire family meeting and focus on the fact that nobody's perfect and we all have things that we have to work on, along with things we have to work with. Make him feel accepted and at home, yet have him understand that he does have responsibilities. If he has gotten as far as it sounds like in your question, it seems like he should be able to get back on the horse and be the man he was again, even if it means that he has to take the medications that he sought freedom from.

Answer 3

My son is bi-polar so I understand. Took him to have to go to jail to see the light. I like what one person said about a "rude awaking." It may take your hubby to have some type of experience to get him to see that he has to do the meds and therapy. I really hope that he will not get to that point.

If he will not get the help that he needs, then you are going to have to make some decisions on how you want to deal with this. Make sure in the meanwhile, you get some support for yourself. There are support groups out there to help you and your family to cope and hopefully can offer some solutions.

Answer 4

there are two decisions to be made here.
He has to decide if he wants to be "normal".
You have to decide if you are willing to put up with "abnormal".

You have to make a decision based on what is best for YOU and for your family. He is obviously not capable of making a good decision, if he is not on his meds at any rate.
So, you will not likely get what you say you want, the great dad and husband. You need to decide if you meant what you said about sticking with him in "sickness and in health", and if the health of the family is more important than sticking with his illness. None are easy decisions, but they are yours to make.

Answer 5

The reason your husband may be going off his medication is that it interferes with his sexual performance. It is a common side effect of anti-depressants and anti-psychotics to impede the libido. Is that what is really bugging him?
I know when I went on anti-anxiety/anti-psychotic medication for the first time, it had a drastic effect on my libido and sexual performance. I was very embarrassed about it.

Answer 6

Not until hes ready