My in laws want to take our 3yrold to another state for 2weeks.There's no other kids up tehre for her to play with and she'd just be up there walking around their home for a week.She has extreme speech problems and if we were to call and ask ow she was doing she wouldn't be ableto tell us...nor would we be able to understand.We let them take her a year ago and things hapened that we didn't even find out about until much later from other people..so we can't trust them to tell us all about the visit.We told them no..but they've asked again...What to do?
2007-05-31 10:14:55 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
'Whoops, sorry, but we've got other plans...our daughter's been invited to her friends party- we can't back out...'
Be creative.
OR
'No. We don't think you will look after her properly and there's no way youre getting her for two weeks...look what happened last year...how do I know that I can trust you with my baby?'
2007-05-31 10:29:12 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them the truth, she is too young to be away from her mommy/daddy for that length of time. The language problems only magnify that. If you cannot understand her over the phone, how well do the grandparents understand her? How terrible for her! She's counting on you to protect her!
Stick to your guns, being a good parent is much more rewarding than being a good daughter-in-law or son-in -law. Instead invite the grandparents down for an extended visit in your home.
2007-05-31 14:46:52 · answer #2 · answered by Bright Shadow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them absolutely not in a polite but firm way. If they ask for an explanation (and they will,) remind them what happened the last time they took her... there was no one her age to play with and she was just plain bored out of her mind (if this is what actually happened last year.) Tell them all the things that happened the last time that you heard from sources. If these sources are very close to you, say that that's exactly what they told you, and that you believe them and they would never lie to you (if the in-laws try to deny it.) And make sure your husband backs you up, even though they are HIS parents. He can ill-afford to be so weak-willed as to give in because they threatened to cut him out of both their wills if he wouldn't submit. Obviously you can't trust them as far as you can throw them, and who's to say you won't have a repeat of what happened last year. Good luck.
2007-05-31 11:39:58 · answer #3 · answered by Sharon Newman (YR) Must Die 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say no again. If you feel the need to explain further (but you don't have to at all if you don't want to) then tell them what you've just told us. It's that simple. Your daughter will not be going anywhere with them. They have proven not to be trustworthy, in addition to her speech problems. So the answer is "no". If it's your in-laws, your husband needs to tell them "no" and if he knows a way to get through to them, get him to explain it to them. Good luck~
Don't lie to them, that's so lame. You're an adult, and have every right to make a decision like this about your child. Not to mention, you are a role model to a three year old now- if you make up lies like this, then it will only be a matter of time before she does.
2007-05-31 10:19:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
Sternly tell them, "No, we are not comfortable with our precious daughter being gone that far for so long." Let them know that you know of things that upset you last time they took her off and until she is old enough and capable of telling you exactly how she is, how she feels, and how things are going you are not comfortable with the situation.
I do hope your spouse is behind you 100%. Makes it a lot easier to deal with. Make sure your spouse expresses their concerns also.
Make sure they understand you do not mean to hurt their feeling but, your child and her safety along with your peace of mind are more important right now.
Keep that baby safe! Good Luck!!
2007-05-31 11:18:11 · answer #5 · answered by Mee-Maw 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what is best for you and your child. If you feel you child is going to be in danger or uncomfortable then say no. Two weeks seems like a very long time for a 3 year old to be away from both mom and dad, but that is just my opinion. They could always come and visit you.
2007-05-31 10:21:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
I have the same issues with my in laws. Stick to your guns and don't back down. I did that once and after that they thought that they could do anything. We had to redo everything and now they FINALLY realize that we mean what we say. Explain to them that you prefer to not be away from her for that long of a time. Suggest that they come down and spend the weekend with you.
2007-05-31 13:38:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them no again. But offer that when you have the time available that whole family will come up for a visit and stay for a few days. If they ask again after that just be firm and say i told you no already and i am not changing my mind, she will visit you when we all can visit. wish you the best.
2007-05-31 10:39:47 · answer #8 · answered by Cassie V 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You tell them No...again. It's that simple, she's your daughter. You are her mother, and if you say no, thats it. Tell them you just dont feel comfortable with them taking her to a different state and why you feel that way.
They dont have to like it, but it's not only your job but it's your responsibility to protect your daughter. Think of it as building healthy boundaries. Maybe someday your in-laws will be able to re-gain your trust, but for now go with your gut.
Has you're husband talk to them about how you feel on this subject and has he tried to set up any boundaries with them? If not you should see if thats something he'd be willing to do. It just may help.
I've spent the last 4 years trying to set up healthy boundaries with my in-laws. It took my husband talking to them and setting up consequences for their actions if they decided to violate our boundaries for them to even attempt to follow them. I'm hoping your relationship with your in-laws arn't as bad as mine, but still it might help.
Just remember to stick to your gut feeling, and if you dont feel okay with your daughter going, then their is your answer and dont let them guilt you or try to talk you out of it. Good luck.
2007-05-31 10:36:33 · answer #9 · answered by Lena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is your kid...if you don't feel comfortable w/ her going then I wouldn't let her go. I have a 5 1/2 yr old and there are times when I don't feel safe w/ her going places and I let them know.
2007-05-31 10:24:17 · answer #10 · answered by SnAzZy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋