medieval pick-up lines?

Question

"Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?"

"Been there, slain that."

-"What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?"

"They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know."

"When the inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only thing they stretched."

"Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers floor."

Wench: "What's that sound? Knight:"That's just the sound of my chain mail drawers expanding."

"Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!"

"Your hovel or mine?"

"Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword in action?"

"Dost thou practice safe hex?"

"Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within."

"I have he key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart."

"You should be glad i'm not a viking."

"You would have been ravaged and plundered by now."

"I lost my leg in battle. Guess what i'm walking on?"

"Yes, my fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your clothes disappear?"

"You won't believe this but St George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you....the fate of England depends on it!!"

"I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have sex with frogs?"

"My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it."

"I've been VERY NAUGHTY. You'll have to put me in the stocks and er....PUNISH me, now won't you?"

"You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Rapunzel. Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let down."

"I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady."

"C'mon sweetie...didn't your mother ever tell you? A cleric a day keeps the black plague away."

"I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?"

Answer 1

.....as you have captured the funny bone of the audience and you feel the warmth from filling the avatars with joy, you happen to notice kerbauchard, sitting in the patio of AvatarBucks cafe', roaring with laughter, and by the way his companion moves quickly out of his way, blowing coffee out his nose!...eeww...and then you join the laughing crowd!!

and somewhere someone turns a "page".......!

Answer 2

forget with regard to the bit approximately properly organised formations. The knights and cavalry in a protection stress could have been the only element that had a superb formation in an somewhat conflict. The infantry could have been in unfastened lines at first (facilitates to decrease casualties from arrows) and whilst the conflict began there could have been little or no coordination because it may all develop right into a brawl with each and every line of troops smashing into the different line and the two aspects captivating in person try against. The action picture isn't truthfully gory sufficient, think of what a meter and a a million/2 long piece of sharpened steel pushed by your chest by employing an exceedingly good guy. Bones could shatter and be compelled aside or harm in the process the floor, flesh could be torn and could carry out and your blood could pass everywhere. If a club or mace have been given you on the top then think of the wear and tear, the cranium shattered into bloody fragments, blood spraying outwards and methods count pumping out of your shattered face. Medieval battles the place very brutal.

Answer 3

you stealing my heart is nothing but a flesh wound

I hath a sickness and the only cure is a wench

contray to popular belief I joust only for you

Answer 4

Would you like to look under my Robin Hood

Answer 5

Is that a mace in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Answer 6

Can'st I smelleth thine fanny?

No!...begone evil wretch??

Forsooth!..Tis thine feet then?

Answer 7

Sweet.
:-)

Answer 8

Your castle or mine :) Those are too cute!

Answer 9

that gave me a chuckle.

Answer 10

Ha ha, good joke
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