2 old women were standing outside of their nursing home smoking.it started to rain so the 1st lady whips out a condom and cuts it in half,sticks it over her cigarette and continues smoking.
lady2:whats that??
lady1:a condom.
lady2:where did you get it??
lady1:u can get them at any drug store
the next day lady2 walks into a drug store and finds a clerk.
lady2:sir can u tell me where i can find a condem??
clerk:ummmmm yeah(he was a bit imbarased because she was WAY too old to be using one.)what brand would u like??
lady2:it dosnt matter just as long that it fits a camel.
the clerk faints.
wasnt that funny!!!!!!!??
2007-05-31 09:40:54 · 12 answers · asked by bella 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
ya now can you make my day and here are more funny ones
Stand on top of the high board and say you won't come down until your demands are met.
Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people drown today.
Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.
Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.
Take a flutter board and pretend you can't swim.
Hit strangers with your flutter board.
Ask an attractive lifeguard to practice CPR on you.
Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, "Oh yeah... oooh that feels soooo good....".
Sit on the top of the water slide and don't move.
Swim near a stranger and say, "Dammit I knew I shouldn't have had watermelon before I came here.".
Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool.
Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say, "HA-HA, fooled you!".
Scream as someone is trying to do something when jumping off of a diving board.
Laugh at fat people in swimsuits.
Tell people you saw the lifeguard pissing in the pool.
Ask a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed.
Try to negotiate the price of getting in.
Take a really long time when you are on top of the high dive and then act as though you were pushed off.
When in line, ask strangers if they think invisible people get a discount.
Take your towel, tie it around your shoulders and say, "Wheee! I'm Batman!" while running around.
Hit strangers with your wet towel.
Throw people's things into the pool.
Sing and dance on top of the diving board, then do a belly-flop as your grande-finale.
Play Marco-Polo by yourself.
Ask small children if they have seen any suspicious-looking sea monsters lately.
2007-05-31 09:46:26 · answer #1 · answered by cash 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That was a great one! But heres mine! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My loving wife Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!! I know this has been on here so many times but everytime i read it gets even funnier!
2016-04-01 07:36:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its clever, but not funny. and im in a funny mood too. thats a NO good.
2007-05-31 09:45:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahaha cute ^_^ star for chuuu
2007-05-31 09:50:56 · answer #4 · answered by babykhi16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's Pretty good did you make i up ?
2007-05-31 09:47:10 · answer #5 · answered by â?¥Roseâ?¥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
w0w .
thats pretty funny .
lol .
*best answer*
2007-05-31 14:42:13 · answer #6 · answered by =) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i love this one i have to e-mail this to my friend
2007-05-31 09:49:14 · answer #7 · answered by M JOHNS 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pretty good
2007-05-31 09:55:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha why not STAR
2007-05-31 09:45:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lmao! ooo that was good!
2007-05-31 10:26:15 · answer #10 · answered by BOOM, roasted. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋