I am getting married and what do you think about stating "Please no gifts" on the invitation?

Question

I really want gift cards BUT ONLY from people that can afford it and want to give wholeheartedly with good feelings. I figured if I state "Please no gifts" then people who really want to give will give. Will that work? I am so confused. I am still a student and I can really use money or gift cards. But, at the same time
I don't want anyone to feel obligated.

If I don't state anything on the card, many people might give me recycled gifts and I will be under their obligation. If I state "Please no boxed gifts" then everyone will feel obligated to bring me gifts. Please help!

Answer 1

This seems like an easy situation...

Simply find someplace to enter yourself as a bridal registry, but only put a limited number of gifts on your register. This way, you'll get what you want, and when people look and see that you have everything, they'll probably give you money.

And most importantly, if you're getting married, then LET PEOPLE GIVE YOU SOMETHING. I think I would be offended if I were invited to a wedding and told not to bring a gift. This is your day, and you should be free to celebrate. If you think you would 'feel bad' about other people doing things, then why have a wedding at all? If you really don't want people to notice you, then you should elope.

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

NEVER put anything on the invitation about gifts - it's tacky. Put the word out amongst your family and friends and bridal party that you don't want actual gifts. If anyone asks where you're registered, tell them you haven't decided yet, but if they have a favorite store, you'd like a gift card.

This might be a New York Italian thing, but I have NEVER been to a wedding where there were actual gifts at the reception. Everyone gives an envelope, usually with cash in the card.

Answer 3

Don't put anything. Even if you put "no gifts, please" no one will get you anything, even cash or gift cards. Those are gifts.

The best thing you can do you just not register anywhere. We felt basically like you did, money was good because we were getting ready to buy a house & we really didn't need anything at all. When most people heard we weren't registered, they gave cash gifts. With your situation, they will know you are both just starting out & most will opt to give a cash gift. Some will still get you actual gifts, accept those of course as well. Family will ask closer family members what you need, if you're saving for a house or something that's a reasonable answer in my book.

Answer 4

If I received a wedding invite that said "please, no gifts" I would do just that...no gifts.

Rather than want people to give you $$ (why don't you come right out and say it?), why don't you register for gifts at stores like Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, etc.? Then people can go to your registry, and get you something you have already picked out.

Also, you're being horribly short sighted on the whole gift card thing...I can tell you--I got bunches of what you would call "small" monetary gifts as wedding presents. Individually, they weren't much--but you add them all up and we basically about paid for our honeymoon with the money we received as gifts.

And, when someone gives you a gift, you are under an obligation to accept it graciously, and to acknowledge the gift with a thank you note.

It is considered EXTREMELY poor manners and EXTREMELY rude to put anything about gifts in the actual wedding invitation. You have that information spread via word of mouth by parents, and close family and friends.

And, if you're still a student, and cannot support yourself financially, maybe you ought to re-think getting married.....

Answer 5

It is TACKY , Tacky , Tacky to include any directions as to gift requests on an invitation to a wedding. By word of mouth , through family and friends, let your wishes be known.
Why would you assume you will get recycled gifts?And if they did how does that make you obligated? You are obligated to be appreciative and send a thank you . If that is all someone can afford, send them a glowing appreciative thank you note, then sell it on e-bay for the money or whatever.
WHATEVER you do,send thank you notes as quickly as possible after receiving your gifts.

Answer 6

Wedding invitations are not the place to mention gifts -- they are an invitation to share your day not to haul in loot.

That said, we were in a similar situation as you -- preferring money over "boxed gifts" because we were facing an international move and literally couldn't take all the stuff with us (plus the cash was handy). We left it to our parents to spread the word or when we were asked by close friends we were honest and said that we didn't need anything due to our situation -- and then they spread the word for us.

However, in an effort not to offend we did register for a limited number of items -- things that would be timeless and keep, like a nice set of silverware, crystal and china. So for those who were insistent on buy us a "real gift" they had an option.

Last note: I once had a friend that got married later in life after living with her husband-to-be for many years. They were well off and had a fully-stocked home. They put a card in their invitation that said something along the lines of, "We are already blessed with the gift our love and a wonderful family and friends...we appreciate you sharing our day and if you would like you may make a donation in our name to the charity of your choice." I thought this was a nice way to focus the wedding on what it is really about -- two people joining their lives and not the gifts.

Answer 7

Just dont write anything. You should accept the gifts that are given to you. Dont think that you would rather get gift cards because you're a student and that would help you out more than a set of dishes because you will need to buy those anyways. Humbly accept whatever gifts are given to you and trust me, you will need whatever people give you. I still have some gifts in their boxes put away, but I know I will use them once I buy a house.

Congratulations on your wedding!

Answer 8

My family and I recently went to a wedding for couple that had been together for many years. These people also lived together and didn't need any household items. They stated on the invitation to the wedding that money would be greatly appericated. Most people who received this invitation thought this was rude. They believed it was rude because normally at a reception there is a money dance for the bride and groom. I think the best thing you should do is just state nothing about gifts on the invitation and choose a very very long song to dance to your money dance.

Answer 9

That is very sweet of you to think about, but let me say this... Let yourself get spoiled. People will only give what they can afford, whether you say anything or not. Don't worry, they are doing it for you because they want to.

I don't think people necessarily feel obligated to get a gift. I feel that they just want to do something nice and give you a present for the celebration.

Don't worry about this so much, and just enjoy yourself throughout the wedding planning and through the wedding day. :)

Answer 10

Don't put anything on the invites about the gifts. I just had my wedding 3 weeks ago. Trust me there will be people who will not give you a gift, just because they really can't afford to. Your putting way too much thought into the gifts. Just let people get you what they can.

We got some giftcards, some gifts from our registery, but we mostly got cash. We did not get anything we didn't like.