2007-05-31 07:53:25 · 32 answers · asked by wowcanusayit 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If and only if it is in your budget you should try to cover the cost of your dinner. Remember it is a gift and should be something you can afford.
Depending on how close I was I would probably give $200 to $300.
If someone was having a weeding that was $500 a person that would be out of my normal budget, I would not give $1000, but what I could afford.
2007-05-31 08:46:40 · answer #1 · answered by no_frills 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, what she's saying here is that the bride and groom are paying $85 per guest, not that guests have to pay...
Anyway, that sounds like an expensive wedding! Generally, the rule of thumb is if you know how much the wedding costs (which is unusual), you're supposed to give at least enough to cover the cost of your dinner... however, just because they decided to have a REALLY expensive wedding, doesn't mean that their guests are wealthy. If you can't afford the $160-$200, just give $50 or $100. They're your friends - they'll understand if you can't afford $200.
Seriously... that's an expensive wedding! Ours was like $25 per plate, and it was a really beautiful reception!
2007-05-31 08:01:12 · answer #2 · answered by greeneyes_bjb 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The cost of the plate means nothing in determining the amount of $ you wish to give at a wedding.
First - a gift is not required however it is customary.
Second - If you wish to give a item gift, you may do so. If they were so bold as to asked for cash directly, I personally would make a special effort to give them an item.
Third - You give what you can afford. If you can only afford $5 and a nice card then that is what they shall get. If you can afford to give $500 then give that. If I ever give money I give a crisp $50 and a funny card.
2007-05-31 08:23:02 · answer #3 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The "cover your plate" 'rule" does not exist. First of all: receptions are for the GUESTS, not the couple, which is why they are called receptions in the first place. It is the formal occasion when the couple RECEIVES society (in the form of family and friends) as a married pair. Food (dinner, cake, etc) is served, as one does not invite someone to a function without offering refreshments. Although traditions (bouquet toss, first dance, etc) have evolved over time that take place at the reception, receptions are not, and never have been, an after-wedding party for the bride and groom. (Altho you wouldn't know it from hearing the greedy bridezillas who invented the cover your plate "rule.")
You spend what you can afford. If that's nothing at all - so be it. No one is ever "required" to give gifts to someone else, and, as others have pointed out, guests are not obligated to recoup the expenses for what a couple chose to spend.
2007-05-31 08:09:25 · answer #4 · answered by Retreadbride 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are they charging you to come to the wedding? If so, respectfully decline the invitation.
Are they demanding some kind of compensatory gift? Tit-for-tat? If so, remember that gifts or lack thereof is not why you were invited - and respectfully decline the invitation.
If you want to give a gift purely from your heart - give what you can without breaking the bank. That is, if all you can afford is $5 - then that's what you give. If you can afford considerably more than that - then give that.
But to calculate the amount of the reception and such - no. That's not why you were invited to the wedding.
2007-05-31 08:18:41 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not matter how much the meal costs. Give what you find appropriate.
If you have to have a dollar amount here is what I have seen (on average) from these boards.
On the left and right coasts, between $50-$150 for a gift.... averaging out to about $100 give or take.....
In the Midwest (where I am from) the dollar amount ranges between $25-$100... an average being about $50 give or take.
2007-05-31 08:07:24 · answer #6 · answered by Laura 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not suppose to know how much each plate is going to cost. As far as the wedding gift goes give what you can.
2007-05-31 07:57:18 · answer #7 · answered by jnnfchar 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Give what you can afford...period. I don't care about all these articles that say you should spend what they spent on your meal, etc., etc., etc. A gift is voluntary, a gesture of good will from the giver to the receiver. It should be graciously accepted, and acknowledged by a thank you note. I generally will not do less than $50 for a wedding gift though, but that's my financial situation, yours may be entirely different.
2007-05-31 08:23:11 · answer #8 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't pay money to attend the wedding. The style and cost of the wedding is their decision, so you're not obligated to cover the cost of your meal.
While it's not required that you give the couple a gift, it is a polite and generous thing to do. The cost of the gift depends on your finances and your closeness to the couple. If you can afford it, a gift costing about $100-150 would be very appropriate.
2007-05-31 08:00:01 · answer #9 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you can afford to, at least $200. If you can't afford to, give less. You are not expected to cover the cost of your plate, it's only a courtesy. People know not everyone can spend that much. And there will be some that will give more.
2007-05-31 09:20:51 · answer #10 · answered by J M 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋