My Grandpa just found out his cancer has come back. He is pretty weak to begin with and has to have dialysis 4 times a week. Therefore the doctors told him that there is nothing they can do to treat the cancer this time. He wrote an email to the family that he wasn't ready to go yet, and that it was pretty tough to take but "such is life in Him" Is there anything I can do to make his last months better? I usually see him once a month and we play cards, if I start visiting more will he think they are pity visits? I just want his last few months to be happy.
2007-05-31 07:47:26 · 20 answers · asked by ~Lizzy~ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Every thing they never got the chance to do when they were a kid
2007-05-31 07:51:16 · answer #1 · answered by Murders Princess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-12-25 02:44:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do . Read to him, make him his favorite cookies or snack, put together a photo album of his favorite pictures. Anything. But don't get him sympathy cards. Whenever you visit bring him a funny anytime card.
I'm sure he will appreciate the extra visits, but he probably won't think of it as sympathy. He will understand you want to spend as much time with him as possible.
However, don't look at him with pity no matter how sick he gets. just look at him and smile and hold his hand. Tell him a few jokes, and talk about his childhood. Let him tell you has many stories as he wants. You will appreciate it so much later. With my grampa I even sat down with him and did a little interview, I just basically helped him do an autobiography. I found out things I never knew about him and I learned more about history from that than I did in books. It was interesting.
What you want to do is get him looking forward to your next visit. It helps him keep his mind off the 6 months.
2007-05-31 09:16:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to do is write him a letter. Thank him for all that he means to you and for all you have experienced together and what he has taught you. Go visit him and tell him that knowing that he isn't going to be around forever you two had better enjoy the time you do have together. These visits aren't pity visits they are common sense. When you leave after that first visit leave the letter for him. I lost my Grandfather very quickly and wish I had had 6 months to ask him all of those things that I wanted to know and now I don't have the chance.
God bless you both and take time with him, you both need this.
I worked in hospice for 13 years and one very important thing that I learned is that when the end is near people don't think of the kids they grew up with or there career. They give to those that are giving to them. Be in his presents and you will be in his heart as I am sure you already are.
2007-05-31 08:14:02 · answer #4 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear of your grandpa's bad news. You visiting more will not be pity trips. He knows that he is dying and will know that you're coming to see him more because you love him and care about him. Keep on doing the special things that you guys do together, playing cards, etc. Tell him how much you love him and how much he means to you. He will appreciate hearing how much of an impact he has played on another person's life.
2007-05-31 07:55:46 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Add another visit at least once a month to sit with him during his dialysis. It is long, boring and uncomfortable. Bring him a nice pair of headphones for the TV, a nice blanket or pillow, or a good book to read. Bring pictures of your kids. I think the best thing that he needs to know is that you're happy with your relationship with him, and that you'll be okay when he's gone.
2007-06-01 14:55:02 · answer #6 · answered by Dave S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well since he wrote an e mail telling the family he does not want to go yet,i think he is looking for support, yes visit him,tell him what you did on that day,read to him,ask him about his life when he was young,and what hobbies did he have. if he does not feel like talking ,just hold his hand and let him know that you are there,after a few visits it will come naturally to you. i am sorry that your grandpa is not well,you will have all those good memories in your heart when he goes to his final resting place.
2007-05-31 08:01:28 · answer #7 · answered by gracefulnono 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure you can go out anywhere but if you can take him to places he has never been before that he has always wanted to go to. do a lot of things together like talking hearing about he past and just know more about family his mother, his father. watch late night movies together. if he know any family recipes have him teach you what they are so you can continue that for him. you know there so much in so little time but as long as you are there and not miss any moment with him then you did all that you can do. its hard when you loose a grandpa that your so close to my grandpa just passed away 2 months ago and the pain never goes away. if you ever need someone to talk to i am open to talking anytime. good luck with everything and have fun with it while you can. :)
2007-05-31 07:58:12 · answer #8 · answered by Adina B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me explain this to you. When my grandmother passed I wasn't even told that she was going to die. I wasn't allowed to see you in the hospital. I was seven but still she was the only grandparent that I've ever known. I wish I could have an extra day, hour, minute, hell even an extra second to spend with her. You need to spend as much time with him as you possibly can, don't worry about him thinking it's pity visits. You love him, show him that because all he probably wants it time. Time with the people he loves.
2007-05-31 08:11:57 · answer #9 · answered by toneslilsweettease 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is go by and spend time with him. Let him tell you stories, look at pictures and just let him know how much you love him! As time goes on he will get weaker and might not be up to long visits but if he's at home with someone taking care of him~extra help is appreciated. It will also make you feel good knowing you helped take care of him in his greatest time of need! GOD bless your family and take care.
2007-05-31 07:55:27 · answer #10 · answered by smackthat27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My grandmother is getting pretty old. She has had to bury many of her friends and two husbands. She says she knows her time is short and so she hopes that all her family will do things with her and for her while she is still alive. She says, "I will enjoy the flowers much more wile I'm alive than when I'm dead." So that is what I and my family do, we do visits weekly, we buy her flowers that she can enjoy now, and we tell her that we love her often.
2007-05-31 08:20:12 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋