My fiance and I are planning this enormous wedding and my parents are paying for it all. It going to be beautiful, exactly what I dreamed about since I was a little girl. Everything is perfect, and I want my wedding party to match. My maid of honor and bridesmaids are all very pretty, and are the best man and groomsmen. We are using my cousin's son as our ring beare and he is adorable. The problem is the flower girl, it's a tradition in my fiance's family to use kids from actually inside the family, something about passing on fertility or something. I don't know. The only little girl of the appropriate age is my fiance's brother's daughter (she's seven) and she is just ugly. Not just plain, but just an ugly little girl. I don't think she can even fit in the cute dress I want her to wear. She weighs close to a hundred pounds already!!! My question is, do I really have to keep her in my wedding party? I think she is going to ruin the day! Or should I just keep her?
2007-05-31 07:14:18 · 35 answers · asked by papakose777 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
One more note, on more than one occation my fiance has mentioned he thinks she looks like a little troll, so it's not going to be a surprise to him that I think she's not pretty!
2007-05-31 07:30:50 · update #1
NO!! NO!! NO!! NO!! NO!! NO!! It is YOUR day!! YOUR wedding! Yeah, yeah... I know, all that crap about the joining of you and your fiancee, yes... I know, that too... but has HE been dreaming of this all his life? NO! You have!! You have the upmost right to say who you do and do NOT want in your wedding ceremony and/or party. Trust me, when I get married, I am going to be bridezilla. It's YOUR day... it should be exactly how you want it.. ESPECIALLY if YOUR parents are paying for EVERYTHING!!!
Put your foot down and get what you want.
Good luck and congrats!!
Added:
Don't listen to these other people saying that you're shallow and vain and immature... you just want what you want... if you add her, you'll resent it and be angry and who knows what else you'll be suckered into adding? And you'll always remember this and how you listened to some people on Yahoo! Answers and didn't do what YOU wanted to do... years down the road you'll think, "Why did I listen to those people and didn't do what I wanted?" while looking back on pictures of the chunky-not-so-pretty girl... Sure, it's shallow... but it's your wedding... the most important day of your life up until now... do it the way you want it... not because some people on this page make you feel bad.
2007-05-31 07:20:41 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 21⤋
If you really think that a little girl that is "ugly" is going to ruin your wedding, maybe you should reconsider getting married. A wedding is a celebration of love and two lives becoming one. When you are with the person you want to be with forever and your friends and family are there to witness and celebrate... i think it would take something catastrophic to ruin that day. You sound very shallow and more concerned about what your dream wedding pics will look like than really being focussed on getting married.....there is that day after the big wedding where you are married and you are a part of this family.
Good Luck
2007-05-31 09:24:15 · answer #2 · answered by legends_chick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like such a CARING and LOVING individual, I'm sure your other half will absolutely appreciate your attitude towards his niece!
What does your other BETTER half say?
Frankly it all depends on if you want to buck tradition or not. If you throw out the tradition of having family as the flower girl then expect an explanation from you as to WHY.
It is up to you and your other half though.
Personally I would not use someone's weight or looks to decide if I want them in the wedding or not. That's just plain selfish and mean.
Are you going to invite only those who are "pretty" and won't "ruin" your wedding for you? Are you going to not invite those you think are ugly, not just plain, but just an ugly girl?
The only ugly person is YOU and I hope your much better half sees that before "I do" comes around.
2007-05-31 08:07:44 · answer #3 · answered by Terri 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you REALLY don't have to have her in your wedding ... but the question is would she really ruin the wedding ? It is not about the flower girl .. it is about you and your fiance exchanging your vows .. the girl would feel special to be in your wedding and it will be a highlight in her life . if you are worried about pictures and her being in them you can always do some pictures that have the adults only ,as long as you have a picture taken with you , the ring bearer and the flower girl only . make peace have the little girl in the wedding , and planning weddings there is always compromise . you could always have no children in the wedding party and eliminate the ring bearer and have the best man hold the rings . you do have options . use another little girl , eliminate the ring bearer and have no children , or use the little girl and have optional pictures as long as you have a special one with the kids, by the way congratulations
2007-05-31 07:34:49 · answer #4 · answered by jgilbertdo 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
OK, while I think your question is rude, obnoxious and completely insensitive, and I agree with just about everyone who answered and said so, there may be a solution. Is there another little girl about that age that you're somewhat close to, or close to her mother? I'm going to guess not, because you wouldn't notice anyone or anybody unless she's smiling back at you in the mirror...but to me it seems the only way you can get out of having your future neice be your flower girl is to already have another option lined up, and do it quickly. You can then (somewhat honestly) tell your future in laws that "gee, I didn't realize that you wanted me to use her...I've already asked so and so to do it." However, if you don't have someone else that could logically do it, then I don't see how you can get out of this. Marriage is about compromises--you make them every day of your life. If you're not willing to compromise, then I'm afraid you will have a very short marriage.
By the way, dress manufacturers make dresses in different sizes--they don't come in just 1 size for the cute "little" girls you see in their ads.
2007-05-31 08:48:34 · answer #5 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's YOUR wedding so no you don't have to do anything you don't want to! Tell your fiance NO and tell his family NO. If you hurt their feelings too bad. It's your wedding and that's that.
I went through the same crap with my brothers girlfriend. She wanted to be in my wedding, I don't like her at all and she's ugly. She would have looked horrible in the dresses I picked out. So basically I found other people to be in my wedding and ignored her. When it finally came up why I just said because I already picked someone and I wasn't changing my mind. She seethed and bitched and moaned but she'll get over it!
2007-06-04 04:48:59 · answer #6 · answered by Rhyannonn C 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all that's not nice and she'll probably turn into a pretty girl when she's older.
Lastly, if you have her and you feel she's not part of the dream you've had...have the photographer take one or two pics with her and the rest without. Then when you look back your pics will be beautiful. But it's very sad the a person could be that shallow.
2007-05-31 11:57:14 · answer #7 · answered by Christina D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
and your an ugly troll on the inside. I cant believe you would even say that. thats terrible of you. and who says your bridal party is pretty? you? cuz Ive never seen you and already I thing your the ugliest person I've ever came across. I hope your fiance comes to his senses before the wedding day and relaizes what hes marrying. you dreamed of this day all your life? get off it...did you ever dream you could be this rude and selfish too?
2007-05-31 11:34:27 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow....I really hope this is a joke actually but I am pretty sure you are serious. Which is incredibly sad.
This poor little girl, she is 7!! How can you be so heartless to comment on her weight and call her ugly? I bet it would absolutly make her day, week, month! to be all dolled up in a pretty little dress with her hair all done up and have everyone say how greatof a job she did and how beautiful she looked.
How self centered are you that you need to be surrounded by your perception of 'beauty' on your wedding day?
Can't you think of this child and her self esteem and how wonderful it is to include her in this day? This is ridiculous!
My niece is 9mo and absolutly adorable, but who knows if she gains 100lbs and is not as adorable for our wedding next year, she will be my little flower girl, I love her with all my heart no matter what size or shape or attractivness, shes an amazing little girl!
Your poor little niece. If you going to be nasty to her and unwelcomeing and ungrateful during the wedding then do her a favor and dont ask her to be in it. She needs to feel beautiful and appreciated, and apparently you don t want to do that for her.
2007-05-31 07:48:33 · answer #9 · answered by Katie 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Did you ever stop to think of that little girls feelings and not to mention your fiance's family feelings? I know it is your day but if your looking at his family in a negative way, it will come back to haunt you. She will not ruin your day because of how she looks in the dress you chose for the flower girl. The dresses come in all sizes and I'm sure will look good on her.
I'm sorry if I sound harsh but even at the tender age of seven her feelings can be hurt to.
If she isn't the flower girl, what else would you want her to do?
Its so sad to think that a bride could be so materialistic.
2007-05-31 07:45:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
It is your day and hopefully the only wedding you will ever have but there are a few other things to consider here. Like feelings. Not just this unfortunately awkward child's but her parents, her grand parents and your fiancee. Do you really think it is wise to start your relationship with your in- laws on this foot. Also. Some things are genetic and it is possible that some day your little girl will be as ugly on the outside as you are on the inside!!!!!
2007-05-31 07:31:33 · answer #11 · answered by In love with 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋