Ive been with her for 2 months now, i know its short, but from the first day we met we really hit it off and we really feel like we love each other, most people would disagree im sure. But lately, its been really bad, when we talk on the phone its like hell, I'm really trying to make conversation but it just feels like our relationship is dying, she doesnt really even seem interested in me anymore, atleast thats how i feel. But she suffers from depression, bipolar really, and its so stressing on me, cause everytime i ask her if shes happy and still wants to be with me, she says shes really happy and loves me, but the way she acts doesnt convince me, and she gets mad at me when i dont believe her, but when we are together in person, its usually really great and we love it, except for the last time, which was really good, just at the beg it was...wierd, i didnt really know what to feel. I love her and dont want to run away from her problems, but it really screws with my head wat do i do?
2007-05-31 07:11:26 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
on a side note, i am in love with her and I really want to stay with her and help her through anything, I just have a lot of people telling me i need to break it off and thats why i brought up this question, cause i am getting a lot of trouble with her, but nothing good ever comes easy i believe, i really appreciate some of your answers, helpful and true
i dont think she takes her meds, and when i try to ask her to do it, she says she doesnt want them and there bad for her, she actually told me one time i sounded like her dad, ive only brought this up twice...should i bring it up again?
2007-05-31 08:22:50 · update #1
no she could kill you!!!
2007-05-31 07:14:17 · answer #1 · answered by sexy_thang_in_da_bed15 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
research what bi polar is and why people have it, get more informed of what she is dealing with and what type of person you are dealing with. This may help you understand her and how to react to her mood swings. I dont think running away is the answer....its really not her fault just an inbalance in the brain and it is treatable with many different methods. People with bi polar have had long term healthy relationships, it is possible. It will take effort on your part and hers as well, but you can take this adventure topgether in helping her. Dont ask her if she is happy today...just ask how her day went and if she goes off on you about it let her vent. asking if she is happy today may make her feel like she has forced you to walk on egg shells, making her feel more crazy, which is one of the emotions bi polar often feel, even though you mean no harm it just may be the way she feels. Why not sit and talk to her and express that you love her and you feel that together you guys can help her overcome this. Just remember its not you and she is not angry with you....deep down imagine not being able to control your emotional state....you lash at the first person you see. Dont take it personally...just offer support. If it does not change and things get worse then you know you gave it your all and you need to move on! I wish you luck.....the ship hasnt sunk yet!
2007-05-31 14:31:38 · answer #2 · answered by divers_godeeper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure she's taking her meds - when she's "up", ask her for a code, a nice way of asking if she's on schedule with her meds. I had a girlfriend once who liked it when I asked "Are the monkeys dancing?" when I asked about her meds... it was a cute joke between us. Her depression is a chemical imbalance, so you can't fix it yourself - all you can do is be supportive and patient.
Sounds like you really care about her, which is way cool. She's lucky to have you. Just remember that you have to take care of yourself too, so if it gets to be too much, do a gut-check and make sure you're not putting out more than you're getting back on a constant basis. That's just too much.
Also read up on bi-polar. It's not as scary as most people make it out to be, especially when you know the facts. Wikipedia actually has a great reference guide.
2007-05-31 14:19:58 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her if you can go to a therapy session with her. And, no, odds are, she will NOT kill you. I'm bipolar and I've only killed small animals (haha, not true about the animals).
BiPolar people ARE difficult to deal with. They are also incredibly artistic and can have enormously high IQs. I've been IQ tested at 158 and I've been diagnosed BP for the past 10 years.
Just show her you care and do as much searching about finding out about her condition as you can. When you discover that she can still love you even with her mood swings, you'll be the better for it.
2007-05-31 14:19:33 · answer #4 · answered by Terrigrrl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
THE REASON WHY SOME PEOPLE DO NOT TAKE MEDICATION: At first, they feel better. They feel like they can get through all of it. But then, they start to feel numb. They actually cannot feel anymore. They are not happy, yet they are not sad. They cant cry. They have a hard time laughing. They DONT feel. And.. sometimes.. feeling bad is better than not feeling at all.
2007-05-31 16:56:23 · answer #5 · answered by Spooks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem like you really care for her. If you love her and see a future with her encourage her to take her meds and seek counseling.
If you don't think you can deal with her mood swings and believe there is someone more deserving of your time then go on about your business. She's not going to change, only you will. Do you want to constantly walk on egg shells because you don't know what will set her off?
2007-05-31 14:17:29 · answer #6 · answered by maximumluv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Educate yourself about the illness.
Learn her patterns. The ups and downs.
Life isn't very easy for her and I'm sure if she had a choice in the matter, she'd want to be as normal as normal is perceived.
I'm sure there are support groups out there for those who have loved ones with the condition, so do a little research.
2007-05-31 14:20:36 · answer #7 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whoa, that is a difficult situation to be in. you need to both be honest about the situation. when things are going great, take the time to outline how you feel when she turns on you. she may not even realize she pushes you away. try to really figure out whether it is her condition talking or her. read online or books about people who are bi-polar. be clear about which behaviors are intolerable--can't let them get away with things because they are bi-polar. stick to theses criteria. many bi-polar people are particularly intelligent and creative--a good reason to be attracted to them--but so hard. when on a high or low they can dramatically alter their views of the world, value systems etc. on a high, they might feel limitless and daring and wish to pursue others--just a challenge, something new, or just because they are entitled. when down, you have to realize you are NOT the cause--and in all likelihood will not be able to change things. is she on medication? try to key in on her cycles--may help you to understand. the condition can get more extreme if left untreated...i don't know what you mean by love--just be careful to not let it drag you down. and in the future...worry about children etc. good luck. i still love an ex--but we are not together anymore.
2007-05-31 14:27:16 · answer #8 · answered by quiet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No...sorry to say but you should dump her now. Bipolar people don't' get better, they only get worse over time. She will continue to be more drama than you need in your life. There is nothing wrong with you not wanting to be her boyfriend, or letting her go. If she wasn't bipolar, this wouldn't even be a problem. The point is the fact that she is bipolar shouldn't be a reason not to break up with her. Leave her now and find someone better for you.
No reason to go though life with this person in it, that is the choice everyone gets to have.
2007-05-31 14:17:36 · answer #9 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
People with bipolar can be difficult to deal with. After 2 months, it's probably not love but an affection and on her part, a form of dependance. Bipolars are known to be clingy and the females I've known fell in love with every guy they dated...each one was the most awesome guy they'd ever been with.
If you are going to date her, you have to accept the moods (good and bad) and all that goes with that particular mental illness.
Bipolars deserve love just like anyone else, but goodness knows some of them are VERY tough to love.
2007-05-31 14:16:10 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Big question, I know that you love her,but are you in love with her ? If you are good for you ! Love does conquers all. I know some about bipolar and embracing it for the love of a women would be a noble thing. Just understand that it will not be easy ! May God bless you and keep you !
2007-05-31 14:33:07 · answer #11 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋