My 7 year old son and my soon to be ex's 7 year old daughter (they are 3 weeks apart) both got a hold of spray paint and decided to spray paint bits and peices of an old truck in our yard, well, My boyfriend was out raged I ended up spanking my 7 year old on the butt and put him to bed at 8:00pm for punishment, My step daughter got absolutly no punishment for her part and even got to stay the night with her cousin, my boyfriend said but she is just a little girl, Does anyone see anything wrong with this picture?
2007-05-31 06:37:54 · 18 answers · asked by shorty 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Chemrose~ where do you get I allowed him to descipline my son? Never once did I say I allowed him to do that, I spanked my own son and sent him to bed early , I dont allow him to punish my kids as far as a popping on the rear that is my job and mine only
2007-05-31 06:48:58 · update #1
343- I was at work when the inncodent happened my boyfriends mother was babysitting the kids for us when it happened
2007-05-31 07:00:57 · update #2
Your very right, she should have gotten the same from him. I am assuming your leaving him ("soon to be ex") and I say GOOD FOR YOU. You know how to raise your children, you don't want to be around when your "soon to be ex" has a teenage girl w/zero discipline.
Some guys are just such wimps with their daughters. I guess my daughters aren't so lucky. Or should I say they, like your son are VERY lucky they have a parent who really loves and cares about them.
2007-05-31 21:25:57 · answer #1 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 1⤊ 4⤋
This should have been handled very differently. First of all I am not sure your boyfriend has the right to spank your child. Second since it seems that you allow your boyfriend to discipline your child, you should have discussed it together. Since both children were at fault, both should have gotten the same punishment. By giving them different punishments one is really going to be resentful of the boyfriend because he was treated "unfairly" and the other will lord it over him because she got away with murder. I think you should have both grounded them from something that they really liked. Maybe tv for a specific amount of time, or your son got something taken away while the girl didn't get to stay the nite with her cousin. I have a 7 yr old girl and I can tell you she definately would have been punished. It shouldn't be the sex of the child as to whether a behavior is wrong. Getting spray paint without permission is definately a wrong! They could have sprayed it in their eyes or inhaled it! Both could have really caused some damage. I bet your boyfriend would have thought differently if his daughter had sprayed your son in the face and you were in the emergency room!
2007-05-31 13:45:01 · answer #2 · answered by chemrose 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is really interesting because it was usually the other way when I was growing up. My brother stopped getting spankings at probably 10 and I got them all the way until I was about 14. I think that you should ask him if he really feels that not punishing his daughter for a wrong doing is right. You should not spank his daughter its too weird for most (i know that you don't just making that clear) I think you did the right thing by spanking your son and sending him to bed early.
2007-05-31 17:31:20 · answer #3 · answered by hc 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is this the only incident like this? Or do you find he generally punishes your child when both children misbehave? I ask cause it sounds more like playing favorites mine verus yours rather than boy verus girl. Yes boys will be boys and cause alot of mischief, but little girls arnt always angels. I am concerned for your son because if he feels like the little girl gets away with things more, this may cause resentment. IF he is punishing your son, why did you choose not to punish his daughter? Equal rules apply doesnt matter who's child it is or who started it/ or whatever the case maybe. You need to talk to your bf regarding this and help him realize what issues he may face with his daughter later on. I would hate too see his daughter get into more serious trouble and say to her daddy but i'm just a little girl.
2007-05-31 13:47:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why wasn't anyone watching the kids in the first place? You don't let 7 yr olds out to play unsupervised!!! It's as much you and your husband's fault for not keeping a good eye on the kids!!! She's your step daughter, you should have punished her the same way! You can't have a family and then dicipline the kids differently and treat them differently!! I can see why the two of you are getting divorced!!!
2007-05-31 13:41:55 · answer #5 · answered by wish I were 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should have worked out the punishment before you smacked him and sent him to his room. Yes, that is unfair, but maybe your ex didn't think it was worth punishing his daughter for?
Did he ask you to punish your son?
Okay, you've added a bit more, so I agree totally with you. However, I hope this isn't the only reason he will be an ex - maybe you could work out parenting skills. And the person who should have been smacked, was the mother.
2007-05-31 13:43:03 · answer #6 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You two need to sit down and go over some parenting issues. You can't raise two children in the same house and treat them differently. Doing that raises the red flag to both kids and eventually one may end up hating the other for never getting in trouble or receiving a different punishment.
2007-05-31 13:43:28 · answer #7 · answered by Harley 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your doing the right thing as a mother. children need disipline. boy or girl, if they do something wrong, they need to face the concequences. if the other is not getting the disipline she needs, what kind of message is that saying to your son? that if your a girl you don't get punished? no wonder why some men are sexist pigs. get rid of the boyfriend and continue to be a good mother.
2007-06-04 12:40:07 · answer #8 · answered by Mastershake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see nothing wrong with the fact that he is soon to be your EX (for good reason as far as I can tell). He is in for a world of hurt and he'll get his when that 7 yr old can't-do-anything-wrong princess is 16. His loss, not yours.
2007-05-31 13:45:56 · answer #9 · answered by Mickey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's unfair. It's not because your boyfriend is sexist or whatever, he's just protecting his girl.
You should be doing the same rather than spanking your kid. They both did the same thing, and both deserve the same punishment. Explain that to your boyfriend.
2007-05-31 13:46:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, the spanking. Discipline for respect, not fear.
Plus the old truck in the yard. Whats up with that.
2007-05-31 13:41:43 · answer #11 · answered by lillilou 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋