Father of the Bride did not give a gift and didn't explain why. What should we do?

Question

Father of only daughter came to rehearsal and gave daughter away at the wedding. He gave no gift and offered no explanation at the time. Should some one find out why he did this, or just let him off the hook?

He did not pay for the wedding, or contribute in any way financially. He did come with his new wife and child and ate at the rehearsal dinner as well as the wedding. I realize that it is not about the gifts, but isn't it appropriate to help the newly weds get started in some way? I think this will become a sad memory for the family because he didn't explain. It seems like he doesn't care about his only daughter.

Answer 1

I think that it was extremely rude of him not to give a gift. How could a father not give his daughter a gift on the most important day of her life. Most people answering the question have obviously not read it completely and don't know what they are talking about. I think the daughter needs to talk to her dad and let him know she felt hurt or she can tell him that she would appreciate a gift for her house or whatever she really needs. Don't let him off the hook!!

Answer 2

Let him off the hook. Maybe he couldn't afford one. Hard to say, but weddings are about families joining together, not the bride and groom getting gifts. Maybe he gave them so much previously or has a surprise planned when they get back. You never know, so don't assume anything bad, and don't go making him feel bad. The bride should have been thankful her dad was alive and loved her enough to give her away and be thankful her dad approves of who she married. I know my dad gave me away, and my parents spent a lot of money for the trip down for my wedding. We lived 1,500 miles away at the time. They purchased some of the decorations as well, which really surprised me, because I didn't want them to spend any more money than necessary. Maybe he had to travel some distance in order to be there. Maybe he paid off their car, paid some of their bills, etc. One thing, making him feel bad for not giving a gift at that exact moment will only ensure he'll never do another thing for what appears to be a spoiled brat daughter.

Answer 3

Why should he give a gift? A wedding is a celebration of two people joining together not a contest to get gifts. I got an wedding invitation a couple of months ago that said on the invitation monetary gifts only. I did not attend the wedding nor gave a gift. As far a letting him off the hook that statement says a lot a gift is something freely given not being on a HOOK to do so.

Answer 4

There is never an obligation to give a gift. It is more of a tradition. Perhaps he was unaware of the tradition and therefore asking him about it might embarrass him. Did he spend a lot of money on the wedding? If so, that can be considered a gift since he is not obligated to offer financial assistance. I would not bring it to his attention as it will make an all around uncomfortable situation for everyone, as well as make the couple seem greedy.

She should be grateful that her father was able to be present at her wedding. Some of us, including myself, are not so fortunate. I would take my father's presence at my wedding over any gift in the world.

Answer 5

Sometimes the effort of a person just being at your celebration is way more important and precious any gift one could give. Etiquette also suggests that you have up to a year after the wedding to give a gift. He doesn't need to explain anything. He was there. Be grateful.

Answer 6

I really don't think it matters. A wedding should be a day to celebrate a new family coming together. Gifts should always be considers a jester not a requirement. Gifts are not why you all have come together to celebrate. In all I think the bride will remember more her dad walking her down the aisle than the gift.

Answer 7

Well, technically there is no law against it. A gift is just that: a gift. Although proper etiquette suggests he should have brought a gift, he did not have to if he did not choose. He came. He did his thing. Perhaps that is all he thought he needed to do. Maybe he couldn't afford a proper gift. Maybe he just forgot. You can call and inquire about it, but ultimately that is the responsibility of the bride to deal with. If that is not you, then the best thing you can do is keep your nose out of it. Honestly, it is not worth your trouble. Who cares? Concern yourself with everything that went right, and you'll be a happier person for it.

Answer 8

He doesnt need to give the bride a gift. He was there, shared in the special moment, was a part of her special day. He, and no one else for that matter, is obligated to get the couple a gift. And it would be very rude to tell him otherwise. I'm gonna assume you're the bitter ex-wife of this man you're asking about.

Answer 9

by all means find something more important to lend your concern and brain power. This man might've given/provided more in other areas of the big day. I, for one, have always felt there is way too much focus on the exchange of material things on a big day like this. He did witness and give away his only daugher on a day which signals her moving on to the next part of her life which will involve him less.
Be grateful for the two people who committed their lives to each other on that day, have parent(s) that were able to share in the day and witness the big moment. How about you focus on what you do like/love about this man and not focus on how he didn't live up to expectations in the gift-giving department. People are all their own unique types - let him be him. If this is your biggest concern about him - please, feel fortunate. Imagine the many parents who cannot afford to financially contribute to a wedding day but yet would love nothing more to give a gift. Be thankful for what you have in life. Be thankful for having family present/nearby.
I would hope that he will be giving many, many more valuable things in the future: a role as a grandparent, wisdom, support, memories...things which no wrapped item could ever match in value. If you truly, truly, think he is "on the hook" re: gift-giving - then you, i'm sorry to say, have bigger issues to deal with which will only provide you with more disappointments in life. There are so many blessings given to us which did not come with a price tag for us to focus on purchased/gifted material items. Remember, when this man is gone, you will remember most the things which did not come wrapped and with a receipt.
Best of luck on letting it go to the healthy extent you really need to. Just my own two cents.

Answer 10

OMG! You just described my dad! If this FOB is the same type, forget about a gift or some kind of acknowlegement. Let it go. He's not worth the mascara honey!